


A life ahead

by brightasstars



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Bane Chronicles - Sarah Rees Brennan & Cassandra Clare & Maureen Johnson, The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood Ritual, Consul Alec Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Magnus Bane, Episode: s03e22 All Good Things..., Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Immortal Alec Lightwood, M/M, Magnus High Warlock of Alicante, Minor Character Death, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:35:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 64,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22114966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightasstars/pseuds/brightasstars
Summary: Alec and Magnus are back from Edom and they have to get married... Alec makes a big choice and they start to walk this path together. But choices are never easy. To fullfill their dream, they will have to fight against time, against laws and rebellions and against fear and death. A story of love, faith, courage and promise..
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood & Jace Wayland, Clary Fray/Jace Wayland, Magnus Bane & Alec Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, Simon Lewis/Isabelle Lightwood
Comments: 66
Kudos: 228
Collections: Hunter's Moon Fic Recs





	1. Back home

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PhoenixStar73](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoenixStar73/gifts).



> All the characters belong to Cassandra Clare.
> 
> This work is gifted to Phoenixstar73 since she had been the one who has encouraged me to start posting my writing.  
> She had supported me throughtout all of this work, as she always does.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus come back from Edom and before getting married... they still have to talk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story starts right from the moment they step out from the portal Magnus had opened in Edom...

The portal Magnus had opened in Edom brought everyone back straight to the Institute.

  


Underhill was the first to see them: Izzy stepped out, quickly followed by Clary and Simon, then Jace, then Meliorn and Lorenzo. 

  


The last ones were Alec and Magnus.

  


"They're back!" Underhill shouted and suddenly the whole Institute's monitor's room stilled in an unreal silence for a second, then suddenly everybody was running to them, hugging and smiling.

  


Alec, who was always so composed when he was in public, was holding Magnus' hand tightly, he hadn't realized when that happened, probably they just had reached out for each other when Magnus had stepped into the portal, but he just couldn't let go.

  


He was looking around a bit confused, he still couldn't quite believe that he had made it, that they were all back, all safe.

Underhill squeezed Alec's arm and then hugged him.

Then he turned to hug Magnus, feeling confident and whispered in his ear "I'm so glad he found you and brought you back. He looked so desperate and hurt, he would have never been the same again without you".

  


Magnus raised an eyebrow, smiled and hugged him back "Thanks for having his back... "

  


"Alec..." Izzy called him back to reality "I... I really feel exhausted, if it's ok I would... go with Simon... See you tomorrow, here?"

Alec smiled and gently caressed her hair.

  


"Yes, sure" he was a little out of breath "you need to rest. Don't worry, I'll take care of everything here. Just do me a favor... Call mum, tell her that we're all back and safe and tell her I'll call her or see her here tomorrow, will you?"

  


Izzy nodded and turned to take Simon's hand, making their way toward the door.

  


Meliorn and Lorenzo were about to leave too.

"Thanks to all of you" Alec said. They just smiled and waved their hands disappearing into the thin air.

  


"Clary...", Alec just couldn't find the right words, "Clary I don't know how to thank you..." his voice was low, "I owe you everything, you saved Magnus and Izzy..." fighting the lump in his throat as he tightened the grip on Magnus' hand.

  


"Sshhhh...Alec...Magnus has always been family to me and Izzy is the sister I had always wanted to have... and you... after all you did to bring me back, never holding anything against me... I just couldn't see you like that..."

  


At these words Magnus turned his head toward Alec, finally realizing how much he must have been suffering. 

  


He was immediately brought back to reality by Clary's laughter and voice.

  


"... and...most of all... I couldn't stand Jace anymore... he was so worried for you..."

  


Jace hugged her from behind.

  


Jace felt so happy. He knew Alec had been suffering.

He knew Magnus was the only happiness Alec had ever had.

  


"Big brother I'm bringing her away too... we'll be right here if you need us."

  


When Alec was thinking about leaving too, Underhill caught his attention.

  


"Sorry to bother you after all you've been through, but the Consul said she needs a report before this evening..."

  


"It's ok Underhill, I would have done it anyway..."

_Maybe not…_

  


"Do you need help?" Jace said.

"No, no, Jace, I'm fine... it's ok, you can go... I'll handle this quickly, I'll see you tomorrow here".

  


Jace hugged his parabatai, holding him tight and finally getting a relaxed feeling from their parabatai bond, emotions flooding again.

  


Alec had closed his side of the bond when he was forced to leave Magnus, to hide his sorrow and his pain.

  


Alec's emotions had always been only his...until he had met Magnus, then they had become Magnus' territory.

  


Magnus had been the only one allowed to enter inside Alec's private realm.

  


Alec turned to face Magnus, their faces were now so close that Alec felt a little dizzy, overwhelmed, and a bit tearful. 

  


He managed to control the swirling emotions and collected his wits to ask him "Do you wanna head home? I'll finish here and...", but he was cut off from Magnus, shaking his head and replying back "Absolutely not. No way. I'm not stepping an inch away from you. I'll sit silently in your office 'till you're done".

  


Alec smiled and just replied "Ok if that's what you want, I'm happy with it."

  


His voice was low and it showed a slight tremble, meaning that Alec was himself starting to realize that he had really got Magnus back, from wherever he was.

  


They headed to Alec's office still holding hands and Alec was startled that he couldn't care less of all the Shadowhunters staring at him, at them.

  


Magnus was silent, something he never usually was. 

  


While they were walking in silence, Alec felt the impelling urge to hug him, kiss him all over, until they would have been both out of breath, but he had to wait. 

  


Magnus turned his head to look at Alec and strengthened his grip, smiling softly.

  


He wanted to tell Alec so many things.

  


How miserable he had felt when he realized about the deal; how heart-shattering had been proposing to Alec and then having to leave him alone in Alicante, and how incredible it had felt to see him showing up in Edom.

  


Magnus thanked whatever angel to have lived long enough to be gifted by a love like this. 

He had come to believe that a love like the one Alec felt for him was something rare and precious.

Never in his life, he would have imagined being the reason for such a feeling.

  


As they entered inside Alec's office they had to untangle their fingers, so Alec could sit at his desk.

  


"Last time I entered here it was after my hangover...", the pain was flowing again into Magnus as he thought about how things could have ended between them.

  


Alec made a painful noise with his mouth, shrugging his shoulders to push away the thoughts and the memories.

  


Magnus realized how much Alec must have been in pain on that terrible night on the balcony... he had thought of proposing to Magnus and ended hearing him telling him that he would have never been happy again without his magic, that his feelings of emptiness and uselessness would have never faded away.

  


"I'll be done quickly" he said sitting at his desk and smiling to him, that kind of smile that only Alec could do... his " _You're my entire world_ " kind of smile.

  


Magnus beamed and sagged into the couch in front of the desk and looked outside the window.

  


He remembered how Alec's arms had held him and supported him on that terrible night, how Alec kept on telling him that he loved him, while he was fighting his embrace to run away.

  


Alec should have been mad at him, he would have had all his reasons to lash out at him.

Instead he had stayed there, praying him to let him be there for him, holding him tight, grounding him, letting him cry out all the pain he felt, and starting to make his plan to get his magic back.

  


He turned to watch Alec with loving and tearful eyes, to find him typing on his laptop.

  


He looked tired and he looked someway older ... as if that boy of few months before had grown up too quickly into a man.

  


They stayed there in silence for about an hour, sometimes looking at each other and smiling, until Alec closed his laptop and stood up.

  


He felt happy, but also a little jittery. 

  


They were heading back home, they were engaged, they were going to marry soon, but what had happened before all of this, was still lingering between them.

  


_He knew they had to talk about it._

  


"Let's go home", he said heading toward the door and gesturing Magnus to follow him.

Magnus got up from the couch and followed Alec through the corridors until they were back in the monitor's room.

  


Alec went straight to Underhill, put a hand on his shoulder, and said "Underhill, I'm done, I'm going home... I mean to Magnus. I know Jonathan is still out there so if anything happens..."

  


"I'll call. Be sure. Now go and take some rest. "

  


"Thanks."

  


Alec turned to look at Magnus, with eyes were full of love, and Magnus thought how could has he ever been jealous of Underhill; Alec never looked at anyone the way he looked at him.

  


Smiling Magnus waved his hand, blue sparkles, and a little breeze spreading through the air as he opened a portal in front of them. Magnus grabbed Alec's hand and stepped in, the portal closing immediately behind them.

  


They landed in the loft, it must have been nearly 6 p.m., the curtains were closed but there was a golden light pouring into the living room, their shoulders slightly touching.

  


Alec abruptly turned to Magnus, encircled his waist with an arm, and pulled him into a desperate kiss.

  


_God how much I had desired to do this again, how much I'd missed your soft lips._

  


The kiss was rough, painful, and full of hope and desire at the same time.

  


Magnus opened up to Alec immediately, responding to the kiss with the same intensity, as if he'd never kissed Alec before.

Their hearts were stammering in their chests as if they were about to explode.

  


Suddenly the kiss turned salty.

  


Alec pulled back, surprised by the taste on his lips and tongue. He hadn't realized he had started crying; hot, steady tears streaming down his face, that he just couldn't control.

  


All the pain he had to swallow and pent up instantly flooded, filling his lungs and his throat, as all the memories were coming back to him like on a movie screen.

  


Magnus' pain, the feeling of not being enough for him, the cruelty of Asmodeus' request, the break-up, the pain of not responding to Magnus' kisses that last night, the sensation of being lost and alone forever when he turned his back to Magnus. Then, Magnus behind him in Alicante when he thought he was going to die without the chance to tell Magnus how much he loved him, the proposal, the rings, Magnus stepping into the portal to Edom and looking at him with teary eyes.

  


His head started spinning, his stomach was turning and he lost balance for a moment, searching for support on the back part of the couch.

  


He was sobbing like a child leaving Magnus speechless, staring at him and seeing the other side of his own pain reflected in those tears.

  


Never in his mind, he would have thought of seeing Alec crying out like that, he looked so fragile.

  


"... M...Magnus...", he stammered "I'm so so sorry" he managed to say between his sobs, ".... sorry for breaking up with you in that way, but I really didn't know how to fix it differently. I felt so devastated that night when you were drunk, I felt so useless. I know I broke your heart, I know I left you alone in that pain after I had told you that I couldn't bear to lose you. I just didn't know what else to do...I have missed you so much."

  


The tears kept falling down his face as he was searching for Magnus' gaze.

  


Magnus had started crying too. He silently stepped forward and put his hands on Alec's shoulders, feeling so much love and tenderness toward that fierce warrior who was shivering and trembling in front of him.

  


"Alexander..." tears were falling down on his face too, "my, my Alexander, my only love...I should be the one to apologize to you. I was so wrapped up in my pain that I didn't see yours. I should have never believed you that night, now I see it clear as the sunlight that you were forcing yourself to be hurtful to me. I should have known deep inside of me that it couldn't be really you, so hard, and so cruel. I should have understood that there was something you were keeping from me, hiding to me. Instead, I believed each word you said. I'm sorry too, Alexander. Sorry for not being strong enough to believe that you really loved me for who I was. You, you loved me so much to give up on me, on us, to save me, to give me my magic back, to follow me to Edom. I had never known a love like yours, I didn't even believe it could exist. I just hated myself and I couldn't let your love heal me, because I couldn't believe you still loved me. You need to know, that the moment I got my magic back, I felt that the hole inside my heart was still there because you weren't with me. I should have run to you at that moment, and tell you that you were my happiness. Instead, I thought you'd never want to see me again... and I ...I..."

  


"Sshhhh...I wanted you so much; Magnus. Those nights without you have been my journey into Hell", Alec said closing his arms around Magnus' back, and pulling him close, searching for his mouth to kiss him again, messy, hurried, and hungrily.

  


He let his hands slide along Magnus' back, pressing his palms between his shoulder blades, urging him to come closer and closer.

  


Magnus raised his hands to hold Alec's neck, gasping when his fingers curled between those silky black hair that he loved so much, savoring the taste of Alec's tongue, something he thought he'd lost forever.

  


Then he slid one hand along Alec's cheek, gently stroking the stubble on his jaws. 

  


"You became so good at kissing, you know, it could become my favorite thing to do from now on", his voice sounding lustful.

"I'm still mad at you though", he said between the kisses, "after all I had told you about my father, you went to Asmodeus? You had asked him for help? I still can't believe that the head of the New York Institute had nearly summoned a greater demon, only to help me", he was chuckling against Alec's lips.

  


"I didn't summon him. God how much I missed your smile, Magnus", 

Alec blurted out, as his breathing started to increase.

  


"More also, he was the only one who could... Magn..."

  


Alec let out a strangled noise and lost his train of thoughts as Magnus slid one of his hands under the hem of his shirt, tugging it up, caressing his abs, and pinching a nipple. 

  


It felt like another first time. 

  


Alec's hands ran down to Magnus' ass, pulling him closer, the desire driving him mad. He wanted, at that moment he just wanted, and could feel Magnus wanted him too.

  


Alec opened his legs to let Magnus slide between them, as their bodies rubbed against one another, leaving them breathless and craving for more.

  


Then Alec's right hand moved to the first button on Magnus' shirt and started undoing it.

  


"You know I have magic for this, right?"

  


"Just let me do this Magnus, I thought I had lost you forever, let me unwrap my reward..."

  


As the first button was gone, Alec followed the movements of his hand with his lips, removing the second and the third, until his hands had reached the point where Magnus' shirt slid into his pants.

  


He slid his hands along and up Magnus' chest, up to his shoulders, and got rid of it, letting it fall down on the floor. 

  


Then his fingers were on Magnus' nipples, gently brushing them until they turned hard under his skin. 

  


They never stopped kissing, smiling, and writhing beneath each other hands, savoring each and every moment of this gift that life had given them, the magic of being in each other's arms.

  


Soon their breathing became shorter and quicker under the urgency of being joint together. 

  


"You know...", Magnus said sucking at Alec's deflect rune, as soon as he had discarded Alec's t-shirt, "actually, we owe Asmodeus something. I was so desperate that I tried to erase all my memories of you, twice. Brother Zachariah had stopped me first, then Asmodeus himself. Now I think that even if I would have never been able to remember you, I would have fallen in love with you again and again."

  


Alec stopped his kissing all at once and pulled back, staring at Magnus unbelievingly, with his wide blown black pupils.

  


"You did what?" his voice was hoarse.

  


"Alexander", Magnus pulled him closer again and resumed the kissing, "I was in a pain I've never experienced before. I felt like I couldn't survive", his voice husky and deep with desire and regret.

  


Alec didn't respond to his kisses, so Magnus stopped too, thinking that he had killed the mood. But a moment after, Alec's hands were back on his face, cupping his cheeks.

  


"Magnus, will you ever forgive me for the pain I put you through? For doing that behind your back? When I accepted the deal, I thought that in the end, I was just one of your thousand lovers, the 17001st. Now, I know I'm not."

  


He smashed his lips on Magnus' without warning, so lustful and deep that he made him moan loudly.

  


Alec's hands were trembling while he was undoing Magnus' belt, unzipping his pants, and sliding his hands under the waistband of Magnus' boxers.

  


"Magnus I want you so much, so so much", he was breathing hard and Magnus was gasping with every move that Alec made.

  


"I need to feel you close to me, inside of me. I need to touch you, hug you, to wrap my legs around you. Make love to me, Magnus, will you? As if this was another first time. Gentle, passionate, caring, and loving in the way only you can be and do".

  


Alec had spoken in one fluid strain of words, emotions taking advantage of his rìationality and coming out of his lips.

  


Magnus was trembling, Alec had never voiced his desires like that before.

  


He took both of Alec's hands in his, pulling him up on his legs from the couch, and leading him toward their bedroom, walking Alec backward as he had done with him on their first night.

  


There was their bed with the golden sheets. 

  


Magnus never stopped the kissing and he kept pushing Alec until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed, making him saunter and fall on his back. 

  


Magnus managed not to fall with him, settling instead between his open legs, watching him with lustful eyes.

  


"Look at you, I can't believe we're here, together, doing this again".

  


Alec smiled, with hooded eyes, "Magnus Bane, will you marry me?".

  


He sat up and pushed Magnus pants and briefs down with one smooth movement.

  


"I think I have already asked you, and I'm quite sure you've already answered yes. See? The rings? Aaah...Ale...xan...der..."

  


"You know I had planned to say these words to you."

  


Alec's mouth was suddenly on him, greedy and sweet, and Magnus could only intertwine his hands behind Alec's neck, swirling his fingers through his hair.

  


"Alexander, Alexander you need to stop, please. Alexander, please, stop."

  


"What if I don't want to?" Alec answered lustfully, loosening his lips to answer back, but keeping on the movements of his tongue.

  


"You have your magic back, you can cast a stamina spell...", each word was interspersed by maddening soft kitten licks on the tip of Magnus' head.

  


Magnus moaned and decided to surrender to Alec's mouth. 

  


He shoved Alec's head forward, hitting the back of his throat and in the meantime, tugging the hair at the nape of his neck as his breath started to become erratic.

  


When he was about to fall from the edge, he changed his mind, and with a monumental effort, he plunged Alec on his shoulders. Once, twice, until Alec thought he was doing something wrong and backed off, raising his gaze to find Magnus' cat eyes shining in all their glory.

  


"By the angel Magnus, how beautiful they are. I didn't want to hurt you back then, but, yes, I had missed them, so much.”

  


Magnus was still trying to catch his breath as he pressed Alec on his back on the bed, pinning him down.

  


"I didn't recall you were so skilled on that first night", Alec laughed.

  


"On that night, I realized that you were the one and only, no one had ever loved my cat eyes. If this has to be like another first time, I think it's my turn now. I'm naked and you still have your pants on, not quite fair, don't you think?"

  


Alec loved his flirting tone.

  


Leaning down, Magnus undid Alec's belt quickly, and in less than a second, Alec was lying naked beneath his future husband.

  


It had been so quick that Alec couldn't say if Magnus had undressed him with his magic.

He reached out with his long arms and touched Magnus' face, gently kneading his cheeks, then his eyelids, mesmerized by those golden eyes.

  


"I love you so much Magnus, let me tell you this, again and again. You are the love of my life, my everything, my future. When I saw you going to Edom my heart was shattering, and never, not even for a minute, I thought of giving up on you. You have made my life worth living, you had given meaning to every single moment, you had made me feel whole. I love you every day more than the previous one", and those cat eyes filled with unshed tears and love.

  


"Come here, come here, my archer boy, and never leave me again."

  


The words ended upon Alec's lips with a gentle brush. 

  


Then Magnus kissed him everywhere, worshipping every single part of his body, like a treasure. His fingers lowered and gently moved inside him, preparing him, as he had done on that first night.

  


When Alec's hips started to quake and frantically chase his fingers, Magnus raised on his elbows and thrusted inside him, first with shallow, gentle movements, that soon turned deep and quick. 

  


Alec was kissing him and whispering soft loving words, caressing his back and stroking his arms, a lovemaking sweeter than ever.

  


Soon they were both climaxing, and as they crossed that line together, Magnus fell against Alec's chest and Alec clung to him, relishing in the sensation of their room filled with the gasps and the lower moans of their afterglow.

  


Magnus rested his head on Alec's heart, listening to the strong drum and lulled by the movements of his chest.

  


"The night you left me, I really had thought about giving up my life. The only thing that stopped me, was the faraway hope of you coming back to me one day. I love you too, Alexander, as I have never loved anyone before, in a way I never thought I could. In all my hundreds of years, I had never found a way to love like this. Thank you for loving me the way you do and for making me love you so."

  


Alec was gently stroking Magnus' hair.

  


"How did you find out? The deal..."

  


"Your mother came searching for me, telling me that you loved me and that you wanted to marry me, and asking me when exactly my magic had come back. At that moment the reality of everything just kicked in...So... How was dealing with Asmodeus?"

  


Alec sighed.

  


"He made me feel suddenly unsure of all we had built together. It hurt so much hearing that one day you would have regretted losing your magic for Jace and that you would have held that against me. Somehow he made me believe this, maybe because I already felt guilty for not stopping you the first time you went to Edom".

  


Magnus' arms tightened around Alec's body.

  


"Magnus I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that Jace meant more to me than you do, because it's not. It never has been, since I met you. When you asked me to say if Jace was worth it, I was about to say no, but then I felt so confused and scared for not being able to save him, that I forced myself to believe that, maybe, the price wouldn't have been so high for you. I was wrong and I let you lose everything for me."

  


"Alexander, I chose to help Jace freely and I've never regretted it, not even for a moment, even if the loss of my magic was more painful to bear than what I had figured. In the beginning, I was even happy to grow old with you, happy I didn't have to bear the pain of losing you one day. But as the days passed, I realized I knew how to love myself only through my magic. I wasn't strong enough to learn to love "Magnus", just the way you loved him"

  


This was for Alec the trigger he was waiting for.

  


"Magnus?"

  


"Mmm..."

  


"When you were in Edom, I asked Simon to turn me into a vampire so I could get you back."

  


Magnus lifted his head from Alec's chest, his cat eyes staring at him unbelievingly.

  


"And I found out that I didn't really care that much of losing my mortality or not being a Shadowhunter anymore if that meant having you back. Now that I have you back, I think I know what I want for my life."

  


He screwed his eyes shut as a child waiting for a punishment, and muttered, "I want to stay with you forever. I mean that, for real. If there's a spell, something, anything, that somehow can...I want to try. I mean, I'm willing to lose my mortality."

  


Magnus was lost for words and silently crying.

  


"But only if you want this too."

  


Magnus leaned up and whispered against his lips, "I couldn't ask for more, but have you thought about..."

  


"Yes, yes... when I was alone here in your loft..."

  


They were kissing again, and grinding against each other.

  


"Actually there is...a ritual I think."

  


Alec froze.

  


"You knew that? Why didn't you tell me that before?"

  


"Alexander, no Shadowhunter I've ever met would have wanted to become a Downworlder or even half of it. Tessa should know better how to help. We could go to the Spiral Labyrinth. Aaa, ... Alexander."

  


Alec was kissing his way down from Magnus' neck, "Let's do that. Yes."

  


Magnus threw back his head and arched his back, Alec's head was between his thighs, showing no mercy at all.

  


Then he crawled up again like a snake leaving a thread of kisses, fisting his arms in the sheets on both sides of Magnus' chest.

  


"Promise me you will let me go through this. Whatever."

  


"As long as you don't harm yourself, I'll be elated to have this... ..forever", and he reached out with his hand, closing it around Alec, who collapsed on him moaning.

  


"But let's get married first."

  


"No. Let's continue this, first..."

  


Alec started kissing him again, with passion and urge, the beginning of another lovemaking wich turned out to be just the second of a very long night.

  



	2. Getting married

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding day... jonathan and Clary....and all that happened after that.
> 
> The words of the wedding vows are the ones from the show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've had to go through the plot of the show a bit... and.. I'm also mixing some things from the books... H

The sun was gently entering in Magnus’ bedroom.

He had been awake for a while after he had collapsed near Alec in the middle of the night, but his mind just couldn’t stay still after all that had happened.

He had been lying in the dark, listening to Alec’s breath, thinking about the days they had left behind; life, even after all this time, had found its way to surprise him again.

But the most surprising thing, had been Alec’s statement to stay with him forever.

Alec was a leader, probably one of the best that Shadowhunters had had in centuries, how could he be ok with the possibility of losing all of that?

As the sun started pouring in, Magnus turned on his side to face Alec, who was still in a deep and peaceful sleep, breathing slow, one arm curled in his chest, his black hair hanging on his forehead.

He looked like an angel. He was so young, barely out of his teens, he looked so innocent. 

Alec was beautiful, smart, caring, selfless, and now that he was out in the open, he could have had anyone else still, he had chosen Magnus. Again and again. 

His eyes filled with tenderness as he remembered the first time Alec had slept on his couch, after drinking too much liquor.

Back then he was shy and alone. Even if he was silently breaking inside, and he was so fragile that anyone could have broken him easily, he tried to show off a strength that wasn't his own. 

Maybe that had been the reason why they had connected so easily because Magnus was fragile and lonely too. 

He reached out with his hand and started stroking those silky black locks aside. He was so in love with that boy in front of him, so deeply in love.

He touched him with such gentleness as if he was a flower that could lose his petals.

When his hand reached his cheek, Alec hummed in his sleep, and whispered his name softly, “Magnus…”

Magnus would have wanted to wake him up, but he knew Alec needed to rest a little more. Jonathan was still out there and that meant that Alec surely couldn’t take a day off until he was defeated.

Then a thought kicked him. Maybe Alec would have had to face a battle soon, a war, he could have been thrown in the field again, with the worst grade of danger they had ever faced before.

They could both have died.

Magnus knew from experience that life sometimes could be _ironic_ ; letting them dream of a life together just to tear them apart again.

He wasn't willing to wait, he would have married Alec before dinner.

Then, they could fight together, side by side, but with their vows spoken.

With this thought in his mind, he got up from the bed, put on one of his silky robes, and headed to his study, to write down their wedding invitation.

When Alec opened his eyes he still felt a bit confused.

_Where was he? Where was Magnus? Had he been dreaming everything? The rescue, the fall of Edom, their talk, their night together._

_No, he had never slept in their bed while Magnus was in Edom._

He extended his left hand. 

The bed was empty but still warm. He stretched his long legs and arms and put on his black t-shirt, which was still hanging on the headboard of the bed.

He had no idea where his boxers had gone, so he opened Magnus’s closet to pick up something. 

To his surprise, on the right side of the shelf, there was a pile of his clothes, exactly where they used to be before Magnus had given his apartment to Lorenzo.

Magnus must have conjured them back, a deep sense of warmness spread in Alec's chest. His clothes were going to be there from now on.

He wasn’t going to live in the Institute again, marriage or not.

He and Magnus had already decided to move together, on the night Magnus nearly died in his arms.

Alec strode inside in the study just as Magnus had finished writing. He looked excited.

"Tonight?", Alec said rolling his eyes. Then he thought about how much he had desired to marry Magnus and he realized he didn't need anything else. 

They were going to marry, at the Institute. Alec wanted their marriage to be a sign, a turning point in the Shadow-World, two important and powerful men, belonging to totally different worlds, were going to bind their lives under the Clave’s roof and with the Clave’s blessing. 

Things needed a change and this was the first chance for Alec to let anyone know what kind of change he was going to fight for.

Magnus had never gotten married before. Not because he hadn't had the chances if he only had wanted to.

The truth was that he had never desired to marry anyone before falling in love with Alec. He had always considered marriage a sort of chain for his wandering soul, always in search of a place he could call home. And finally, he had found his home in Alec’s heart.

“I have to go to the Institute, settle some things, and… check”, Alec was speaking from the bathroom, “then to mum. What time did you set the wedding?”

“6 p.m. I already sent the invitations to everyone I had in mind and they’re starting to answer. Brother Zachariah is coming to celebrate. Don’t forget the bag near the door, it’s for Maryse. I didn’t send her any message yet. I thought you wanted to tell her yourself. ”

“What about Max and Robert? Have you invited them?”, Alec asked while he was putting his sweater on his way out of the bath.

“No, not yet. I intended to ask you first. Even if I do believe you want Max to be here.”

“I know I had issues with my dad, Magnus, but now, I feel that all the things he used to tell me, don't bother me anymore. More also, I believe that he feels guilty and I want to give him another chance to make it up with us. I want them both, but I want to ask mum first, I don't want her to feel uncomfortable, we owe her so much.”

Alec kissed him softly and picked up his jacket.

“You’re not hungry? I think you did burn a lot of energy last night", Magnus smiled wickedly. 

“I made breakfast and coffee. Sit down a minute, with me”.

“I’m starving, but I’m gonna be late. Oh, screw that.”

That table had seen them sitting together so many times, in the good and the bad mornings, sometimes eating in silence, sometimes fighting, sometimes cuddling and joking.

"Before you leave, give me that ring”, Magnus said as he kissed the back of Alec's hand.

“We are getting married at 6 p.m., and a whole day is waiting for you out there, while I can’t be around.”

Magnus slid the ring out of his finger, closed it in his palm, and started to mumble words in a strange and ancient language, as a blue smoke encircled his hand.

Alec was mesmerized, he had always found Magnus so beautiful when he cast his spells out loud.

When he had finished, he slid the ring again on Alec’s finger, and Alec suddenly felt warded, as if an invisible shield had enveloped him.

He stared at Magnus, waiting for an explanation. 

“What you are feeling, is my magic. I put in the ring every protection spell I know. You’ll get used to the sensation in a while”

“I already am. Your magic is familiar to me.” Alec smiled.

“Why hadn't you ever done this before? Not that I’m complaining, I'm just curious.”

“This protection spell uses an object as a conduit for the magic, but the spell is effective only if the object is a binding symbol. More also, you would have been carrying my magic signature on you, and it would have not been appropriated back then."

“I’m proud to have it on me. It makes me feel completely yours", Alec kissed him deeply.

“If you don’t get up right now, I don’t think I will ever let you walk through that door”.

“No door. Portal me please?”

Magnus was stunned. Alec had never wanted to be portalled into the Institute since it would have been a clear sign that he had been sleeping at Magnus'.

Magnus waved his hand.

“Have a nice day and take care. I’ll call you later.”

They kissed again and in a fraction Alec was standing inside the monitor’s room.

“Underhill? Could you please tell Jace to come to my office?” 

Alec was playing with his ring, waiting for Jace. He was going to ask him to be his suggenes, again.

He smiled at the flashback. Everything was different now.

On the day he was supposed to marry Lydia, there was no joy in his heart. 

He had felt sad and resigned to a future of loneliness and lies.

Bust most of all, he had felt angry.

Angry at the world he was living in, angry at the laws that couldn’t let a man be in love with another man, nor a Shadowhunter with a Downworlder, and angry at himself for not having the courage to tell Magnus that he was feeling something too.

Alec hadn't realized that he was falling in love with him, even if his stomach twisted every time Magnus was near him.

This sensation hadn’t changed.

A knock on the door raised him from his thoughts.

Jace stepped in with his eyes glowing in happiness for Alec. 

When they were kids, Jace used to think that they would have always lived together, at the Institute, with their wives and their kids, like any other Shadowhunters' family did.

But Alec had chosen another path and though it had turned out to be the hardest one, it was a choice that tasted of happiness.

“Alec”, Maryse threw herself in her son’s arms.

“Sweetheart, you’re back and you’re safe. I’ve been so scared. You weren’t joking when you told me you were going to get him back, didn’t you? I should have known that. You speak little, but when you do, you mean it.”

“Mum, thank you so much for everything. When Magnus was gone, I felt lost and my only thought was getting him back. That night when you brought me dinner, I hadn't realized it could have only been you, telling him about the proposal, and making him come for me. He had told me last night. Thank you, mum, you saved him and you saved me”, he hugged her again.

“Alec…you are still so young but you have taught me so many things. Your love is so strong that you made me realize how ignorant and bigot I’d been to you and Magnus. Magnus is a wonderful, kind, and loving man, who loves you with all his heart and who deserves to be loved by you. I am glad that you two had made it.”

It was beautiful, to see his mother so proud of him.

“Mum, will you walk Magnus to the altar?”

“Of course Alec. I’d be elated. And what about you?”

Alec stilled a moment, he didn’t know how to ask if he could invite Robert.

Stuttering a bit, he managed to ask Maryse if she would have been comfortable having him there, at the wedding.

“Robert would be proud to walk you to the altar. You are an example to all of us.”

"So you will be wearing tuxedos?"

"Yes, but Magnus wouldn't tell me more. He said it has to be a surprise", then his phone buzzed.

"Jace? Oh, I'm on my way. Call Izzy."

“Mum, I need to go. Jonathan is back. If everything is going to be ok I’ll see you at the wedding. Tonight.”

“Stay safe"

Alec just nodded and rushed to the Institute.

_Magnus I need you at the Institute. We might have a problem to deal with. A big one_. 

Magnus arrived at the Institute at the moment Alec was speaking with Robert. His face was a mask of sorrow, and his voice was cracked.

Jonathan had killed everyone at the Los Angeles Institute except for him and Max. 

The New York Institute would have been the last to be taken down.

Magnus had remained on the back, behind the crowd of Shadohunters.

He just wanted to grab Alec’s arm and take him away, hide him from the rest of the world, but his future husband was a leader and they both had responsibilities.

Sighing, he walked through the crowd and placed his hand on Alec’s back.

“Hey…”

“Hey…You’re here. There could be a chance that I can’t get married at 6”, Alec's voice had been tender and soft. 

“We can't think about that now, Alexander. Let’s face this together and leave everything settled as it was. If we’ll make it, fine. If we won’t, we’ll skip to the next step.”

“The _next step_?” Alec giggled.

“Well, that could be an option.”

Alec kissed him, a little deeper than he should have had, given the fact that they were in the middle of a war and of a room full of Shadowhunters waiting for Alec’s orders.

But Alec was thinking that maybe that could have been their last kiss, things were turning bad.

Clary, Jace, Izzy, Alec, and Magnus were standing around the table in the middle of the room, trying to figure out an action plan.

Suddenly Clary said that she needed to handle this alone. She was sure Jonathan wouldn't have killed her.

Alec felt conflicted. He didn’t want to put Clary in danger, she was his parabatai’s love, but deep inside he knew that she was right.

He searched out for Magnus' consensus. It was all that he needed.

Pushing his conflicting emotions aside he agreed to the mission.

Magnus had realized instantly that something with Clary was wrong, her request of being portalled to Toronto, had left him wandering.

He didn’t know for sure, but he could sense that she was nervous.

“Alexander?”

“Mmm…?”

“I believe something’s wrong with Clary. I don’t know what it exactly is, but…”, Alec raised an eyebrow, “I know it sounds strange, but I know her, she’s like a daughter to me. I can sense it…I”

“I trust you. You know I do. But I hope this time you’re wrong. She’s our only hope to defeat Jonathan and… Jace’s gonna lose his mind if something's gonna happen to her again. Look there on the monitors…She found him”

Jace was already in front of the big monitor, and Alec could perceive the anguish through their bond. He put his hand on his brother's shoulder, squeezing it a little.

“She’s strong. And she’s powerful. She’ll come back to you.”

Jace swallowed the tears and stared at the monitor. 

Clary was approaching her brother and starting to speak.

“Put these on”, Alec said giving him a pair of earphones.

Jace looked at him with doubtful eyes.

“This is private stuff, Jace. None of us has the right to hear that. But you should. She’ll need help to deal with all of this when she comes back. And you shouldn’t ask her to recall everything for you. Put these on, c’mon.”

Jace smiled and did as he said.

Magus was a step behind and as he was looking at Alec, he thought of how amazing his man was.

Even then, his priority had been his brother's feelings and emotions.

“What the hell is happening?” Magnus blurted out.

Clary had a pair of angel wings surrounding Jonathan and she was hugging him.

Alec reached out to Jace and took his arm in a tight grip.

Then Jonathan was splitting apart and in a moment he was lying dead, with Clary crying beside him.

Jace was crying too.

Alec felt the need to hide him from all the Shadowhunters who were staring, so he turned to face them, shielding Jace’s sobbing back with his broad shoulders. 

“Jonathan Morgenstern is dead. I’m going to write the reports. Since there’s gonna be a wedding here in a few hours and we need to get things done, all the unnecessary personnel has the rest of the day off. Dismissed.”

Alec turned to Jace.

“Hey buddy? Doing ok?”

Jace simply nodded with his head.

“Get yourself together and bring her back. Simon and Izzy are coming with you.”

Then he turned to another monitor and switched it on.

“Dad… Jonathan is dead and… I… I’m…” he turned and gestured Magnus to reach him.

He rose their joined hands, “We’re getting married… at 6 p.m.”

**_“_ ** What? **_”_ **

“Yes Alec!” Max shouted.

“Yes dad, I wanted to call you and invite you this morning, before all this shit happened. Will you walk me to the altar?”

Robert's face softened in a warm smile. He wasn't expecting Alec to invite him or want him, after everything that had happened between them. The son he had always wanted to be different from who he was, was now offering him a second chance.

“Of course Alec”, Robert answered smiling, "I will be proud to stand by your side."

Maybe this had been Magnus' real magic, making the others look at Alec with the same kindness and fondness he did, as if Magnus had revealed to the world the treasures that Alec was hiding inside himself.

“I’ll ask Malcolm Fade to portal us there as soon as I have finished my reports. It's your wedding Alec, my first son’s wedding.” His voice was full of emotion.

“Thank you dad.”

Alec was a bit out of breath. Magnus put one hand on his cheek and traced his jawline with infinite tenderness. 

“Did you think we were going to get married so easily?” 

“No. Not at all. I was thinking...Had you…I mean…had you planned somewhere to go, .... after.... after the wedding?”

“Like a honeymoon?”, Magnus raised his eyebrows in surprise. He wasn't expecting Alec to ask this.

“Yeah, sort of." He blushed. "I..., I don’t think I can leave the Institute for long but…if it's something you want too... I'm in...”

“Well...with Jonathan still alive I didn’t’ think you could have taken a break, but now... ”

“I need a break, Magnus"

Magnus hissed, his expression hardening at the memories.

Alec stuttered, “… no, no, no, terrible, poor choice of words…We... I...I need, I want to be with you, and just you… doing…”

Magnus raised a finger just in front of his lips like he had done the night Alec had freely offered him his strength.

“Stop… I won’t let you drag my mind in dirty places before the wedding, or I won’t be able to stand there without the others realizing I wanna ravish you. Go and write those reports down. I’ll think about somewhere to go. I’ll send your tux to your office. We will get dressed separately, no spying the groom while he gets prepared…By the way, you had been great with Jace…and… as I already told you once… I like seeing you in your S _hadowhunter’s mode_ ” declared Magnus while waving his good-bye.

Alec rolled his eyes and stopped him in his tracks.

“We had a plan… Remember?”

“Honeymoon at the Spiral Labyrinth? No way Alexander. Maybe just a drop off! But… yes, I do remember and I do want it as long as you want it too".

“I’m gonna tell the others after the wedding if it’s ok for you”

“Whatever it is ok for you, is ok for me. I just hope they won’t hold it against me…Especially Jace”

“It’s my life Magnus. It’s my choice. I’m not a child anymore. And I will always be the same man I am now.”

He kissed Magnus and went straight to his office.

The black tux was beautiful. Elegant, but simple.

Alec was watching himself in the mirror. He was marrying Magnus. Not even in his wildest dreams, he would have thought to have the chance to marry a man that he loved so much.

A man like Magnus, kind, wise, generous, brave. Magnus was far more than everything Alec had dared to hope for.

Alec's hands were trembling as he was trying to close his bow under the collar. 

"Need a hand?", Jace offered him his help.

"Yes, please. I can't stop shaking Jace."

Jace chuckled.

"He won't leave you alone on the altar. And if it's any consolation to you, he's as much as nervous as you are."

"I love him so much, Jace."

"And he loves you the same. Come on now. Robert is waiting for you."

Everything was perfect when Madzie started to walk down the aisle, music played as she scattered flower petals around. 

Suddenly Alec stepped in, with Robert by his side. 

While walking down toward the altar, Alec was glowing. Jace was staring at his brother, he didn’t even know Alec could smile like that.

He looked beautiful, he was walking proud, head high, cheerful, and happy, and he seemed a little emotional too, something that had seemed impossible for Alec before he had met Magnus.

Robert, by his side, was thinking about how much courage Alec must have had to kiss Magnus at his failed wedding when no one had ever even imagined that he was gay. 

Alec, his introverted and always angry son, must have suffered so much. 

He and Maryse had been too wrapped up in their Clave's business to watch him closely, to understand the struggles he must have been fighting, to stand by him and support him, instead of criticizing him.

Alec had to meet Magnus to feel accepted, to feel loved for who he was, and Robert was thankful for that old-centuries warlock that had made him blossom and took care of him, as no one had ever done before.

Alec's heart stopped as he saw Magnus crossing the threshold with Maryse.

He looked so beautiful in that deep purple tux, and he looked so fragile too.

Magnus was nervous, and he was geeking out. Maybe he was being self-conscious, under all those eyes staring at him, and Alec felt a rush of tenderness for that warlock who finally could walk proudly in a room full of Shadowhunters. To marry one of them.

Magnus' eyes were full of unshed tears as he felt all those gazes passing through him. 

He wasn’t ashamed anymore, nor he felt uncomfortable.

That had been Alec’s power: to make him believe that he was worth, to love him for who he was and beyond, demon side, frailties and all.

Brother Zachariah stood smiling as Magnus faced Alec. 

Alec exhaled. They were there. They had made it. No turning back. 

Magnus nodded.

And they started to speak their vows.

_“The love I have for you._

_Is a love that knows no bounds,_

_In times of joy as well as sadness,_

_In sickness and in health,_

_I will love as my equal,_

_And protect you above all else,_

_I will share with you my truest feelings,_

_And when you’ll speak, I will listen,_

_I will catch you when you fall,_

_And when you’ll soar, I will help you reach your greatest heights,_

_Magnus Bane,_

_Alexander Gideon Lightwood,_

_I am and will always be your loving husband_ ”

Their eyes were fixed on each other, their hearts were beating as one, finally home, together. 

They were speaking with the knowledge that they were going to chase eternity, making those promises even more meaningful, more powerful.

The kissed, unaware of all the voices coming from the crowd, and as they turned to face the guests, they remained a bit stunned by the demonstration of so much love and caring.

The foundation stone of a new world had been just laid. 

They were there to tell the world that love could conquer all, that it was stronger than fate and coincidence and that was a gift to fight for and to be honored.

Hand in hand they walked down the aisle, Magnus throwing petals on the guests, feeling so lightheaded and truly in peace; Alec looking above his head with dreamy eyes.

They were together. They would have lived together, fought together, worked together, had a family together.

In the hall where the reception was about to start, the guests made a circle around the grooms. 

Magnus and Alec were dancing, a slow intimate sway, cheek to cheek. 

Alec was feeling a bit embarrassed since dancing had never been one of his talents, but Magnus didn't seem bothered at all. 

He was clutching Alec in a dance of love and promise of a life together. 

Alec tightened his grip on Magnus’ back, rested his head on his husband’s shoulder and closed his eyes to break away from all those eyes and just let the music guide him, inhaling Magnus’ sandalwood intoxicating scent.

When the music stopped they went to a table with two glasses and a bottle on top. 

There were two blue crystal glasses with a bow and an arrow carved in and their initials tied in a knot “M&A”. 

There was a piece of paper near them.

_To my long life friend Magnus and to the man who finally made him happy. These glasses were the ones in which Will and I drank on our wedding day… I just changed the decorations a bit… wishing you two a lifetime full of joy, love, and tenderness. With all my love. Tessa_

Magnus wiped a tear from his eye and took the champaign bottle in his hands. He guided Alec’s hand to open it, together, letting the foam fall to the floor. 

Magnus poured some of the wine inside both of their glasses. They entwined their arms and shouted out loud together “Forever”.

“Alec… say something…” Simon shouted, and Alec stared at him with a deadly look.

_I’ll kill you…later..._

Instead he just lifted his glass again and said “To Magnus…” and he kissed him; “… to mum… we both owe you so much…and to Clary… you saved the whole Shadow World and… our marriage”. 

He smiled shyly and drank another bit of champagne.

“To Clary…” everyone yelled back.

Then the crowd scattered around the hall: some were eating, some were drinking, others just chatting or dancing.

“I love you, Alexander”. 

“I love you too”, Alec hid his head in Magnus’ shoulder and stayed there for a while.

When he rose again he gestured to Izzy and Simon to gather all the family and reach them.

“You sure?” Magnus asked in a low voice.

“Never been more” Alec answered.

As everybody gathered in front of them, Alec gently untangled himself from Magnus' embrace and cleared his throat.

“So…, there is something I… We wanted to tell you”.

They were all silent, it was clear to all of them that what was coming next had to be important.

Alec’s voice was slightly trembling, so Magnus took his hand and squeezed it. He thought he would have felt nervous, but right now he felt like he was drowning as if air couldn’t fill his lungs enough to talk.

He tried not to focus on their possible reactions and continued 

“…when I asked Simon to turn me into a vampire…”

Robert and Maryse’s faces turned white.

“… ah yes, mum and dad, that had been my idea to get Magnus back, before Clary figured out that alliance rune… anyway… when I asked Simon, I suddenly realized I was ok with the idea of…” he paused for a moment, “… of being immortal”

There followed an “Aww….”

Izzy launched herself to Alec’s neck shouting “Yes, yes, yes, finally you got it, big brother! I’m so happy…”, then she suddenly realized he still wanted to say something.

“I hadn’t finished yet Izzy…but yes, this is my choice. Magnus and I are going to the Spiral Labyrinth to see if there’s something we can do about this. I know it’s a lot to handle for you, but I wanted all you to know that this the choice I made for my life, I took it freely and willingly, when Magnus wasn’t here and I will go through it, no matter what. I still don’t know if this would mean that I won’t be a Shadowhunter anymore or not. We’ll figure everything out when we get there, but I will always be there for you all, nothing will change for me. Jace…”, he said lowering his voice and turning to face his parabatai, “…I will always be your parabatai, I will always keep your soul in my hands as you will keep mine, our bond is stronger than anything, than any rune, I will never leave you… ever…”

Jace was shivering, but he understood, Alec deserved to be happy and to take his chance to have Magnus forever. 

“Alec, the world will be a far better place if you get to live through the centuries. I love you buddy, and I know you will always have my back…”

Magnus was watching a whole family gathering around them and he just couldn’t believe they were all ok with Alec’s decision.

“Magnus…”, Robert was behind him, “…I…I’m a man who has made many mistakes…especially with Alec. This... you two together, it's still something I have to make my peace with, but I love Alec... more than I will ever be able to demonstrate and express, with words and actions. I admire him for being so brave… he fought everything he was forced to believe in to have you…take care of him, for all the days to come, even when we won’t be there anymore for him… “, he was crying.

Magnus took a step toward him and placed a hand on his arm “I will Robert, be sure I will”.

“Mum…” Alec turned to Maryse.

“Sshhh,… my little boy. I get it and I’m all right with it. More than all right. I love you and I love Magnus. I always knew that one day you would have shone brighter than a supernova. You two are going to be an example for all the Shadow World”, she hugged him and then pulled Magnus into the same hug.

Alec started dancing with Magnus again, just enjoying the moment.

Everything seemed just perfect as it should have been. 

None of them could have ever imagined how that night would have ended. Only Clary was aware of what was about to happen. 

She started greeting everyone, Simon first, then Jace. 

She was so in love with him. She was sure his memory would remain impressed over her heart, even if she couldn’t remember him anymore.

She felt so sorry for him. She wouldn’t suffer from the loss, because she’d be unaware, but him, he was going to remember everything... 

But she couldn't turn back the time, she couldn't change the choices she had made.

She wrote a letter to explain to them which was the punishment of the Angels and left the party.

After a while, when Jace realized Clary was missing, he went looking for her. He went to her room and found the letter. 

He felt like he’d been stabbed in his chest and he started sobbing.

“Jace… aah…” Alec crumbled against Magnus' waist as he felt a terrible pain rush through the bond.

“Alexander… what… why are you?”

“Jace,… something’s wrong with Jace… he’s in pain… Where is he? Jaaaaceeee…”, he started running through the corridors, followed by Magnus, Izzy, and Simon.

They went straight to his room, but no one was in there, then they heard a scream coming from Clary’s room.

“Jace, Clary…. Jace….” Alec couldn’t breathe well, the pain was overwhelming.

They arrived in Clary’s room to find Jace sobbing, down on his knees. Alec kneeled beside him and hugged him.

“Jace… Jace… talk to me…please, talk to me, what happened? Where's Clary?”

Jace was like in a trance. He handed out the letter. 

Magnus took it and while Alec was embracing his shuddering brother, he started reading it out loud. 

Magnus started crying too, while he was reading, tears streaming down his face, his voice crackling, then Izzy and Simon started sobbing too.

Alec just kept holding Jace, forcing his tears back in silence, knowing that he had to be strong for him.

Simon was nearly dead. He dropped to his knees, "Fray, what have you done? How are we all supposed to survive without you”.

Maryse and Luke arrived soon after.

“Clary has… the Angels have erased all her memories of the Shadow World as a punishment for her … rune’s drawing power… “, Magnus explained between the tears.

“Ohhhh… That’s why... why she… she asked me if the Angels could forgive… “, Maryse said turning to Luke. 

His eyes were red… his daughter…, after Jocelyn he couldn't lose her too.

“Izzy…”, Alec tried to control his emotions, “Izzy just come here and stay with him, while Magnus and I are going to explain the guests everything… ”

He got up, grabbed Magnus’s hand, and pulled him out of the room.

Only then, he let his tears flow down his cheeks, “I’m sorry Magnus… I’m so so sorry I know you loved her…”

Magnus hugged him.

“You loved her too, in your own, inimitable way. Sadly, I’m used to losing the ones I love…not used, but… resigned…That’s what being immortal truly implies…Now let’s just greet everyone and head back to Jace…He’s gonna need you near him tonight…We’ll bring him with us to the loft, we’ll bring everybody with us… ok?”

They kissed and entered the hall.


	3. Changing the world

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a bit of honey moon...then the spiral labirinth...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The warlock and the shadowhunters' wedding vows are taken from "Queen of Air and Darkness"

“Magnus isn’t it possible for you to just…magic her memories back?”, Jace asked while pacing the floor back and forth. 

It was like the fourth time in a raw that he had asked the same question again and again. 

He still felt like dying inside, but his soldier’s executive side had taken the lead, so he was all concentrated on finding a solution.

“Jace…Magnus has already explained to you…”

“Alexander… it’s…it’s hard for him to deal with this” Magnus mumbled in Alec’s ear “Let me do this again”

“Right then, I’ll go and make some coffee. And if you need anything…”, Alec knew very well that Jace could be really unbearable in his obstinacy.

“You’ll be just a foot away… I know…” Magnus finished.

Jace was finally sitting on the couch, hands in his hair, and Magnus thought how pain found his different ways to reveal itself on someone’s features. Jace’s forehead was wrinkled, his cerulean eyes were crimson red, his mouth was half-closed in sorrow and he was biting his lower lip. He sat down next to him and hesitantly put his left hand on Jace’s shoulder.

“Jace…”, his voice was calm and soothing, “I’ll be able to help Clary to retrieve her memories, only if she might have the sight back, only if she might feel she had met us as if she had seen us in a dream or in a previous life. This is an angelic curse and I’m only a warlock, I just can help the unfolding once it has begun. I can speed it up and make it more precise, but only when and if the process has already started…I’m sorry.” 

Jace sighed.

“Now,…now you can only wait,… look after her in the places where she used to go, to live,… and wait,…wait for her to be able to see you again, or recognize you…”

Silence fell heavy, as Alec was back with three cups. 

He sat near Jace and handed him the first cup, then the second one to Magnus. 

He sipped the coffee and pondered carefully the words to say.

“When I thought that I had lost Magnus,…I felt like I couldn’t breathe,…I felt like a robot drawn from place to place. I talked but it wasn’t me, I walked but it wasn’t me,…it had been as if I wasn’t inside myself anymore as if I was elsewhere, lost… I felt drained, head empty, soul missing”. 

Magnus had his eyes all on him. 

“I can understand how you feel Jace...though I believe that maybe it’s even worse for you because you know she’s there but she cannot see you anymore, she doesn’t know you exist anymore,…I would have gone mad…But right now, there is nothing that we can do, we can only hope and …pray that the Angels will break the curse and let her come back to us, to you. And when this will happen, Magnus will be there for you.”

Jace had a faraway look in his eyes. 

“It’s just too much for me right now. Too much strength, too much faith, too much time, too much pain. And the worst part of it is that I can’t do anything to fix this, it’s even worse than when I believed she was dead.”

“Oh, Jace…”, Magnus stood up, “we both can understand how you…” He was about to tousle his hair with his hand when Jace tilted his head up to look at him.

“Really Magnus?”.

“What?”, Magnus chuckled, “I used to hang out with your grand, grand, grand…well I lost the count. So I’m allowed”. 

His lips parted in a burst of cheerful laughter.

They laughed all together and Jace felt somehow lighter. 

It seemed just like one of their usual evenings at Magnus’, one of the many they had there, together, young and happy. 

And Jace thought Magnus was really a man with a kind, big heart, and that Alec had been lucky to find him, he was going to take good care of Alec’s sensitive heart.

“Gosh buddies…this is your first night, why am I still here? I need to go…” he rose up. 

Alec stopped him, caging his wrist in his fingers. 

“Don’t… Please Jace, don’t. You can sleep here and don’t mind us”

Jace threw Magnus a query look.

“Oh… Alec’s right… you see I still remember how to cast a silencing spell…”, Jace laughed, “…aaaand, you know, after _that_ first night we already talked about, there had been many more….”

“Magnus stop.”

“We’re husbands now…”, he swayed, “there’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Magnus…”, Alec scowled.

“Really guys…You don’t have to.”

“We don’t have to, we want to”, Magnus was serious again and halted Jace, placing his palm on his chest.

“All right… “, he sat again. 

A few minutes of silence passed until Magnus went searching for Chairman to feed him and leave them alone.

“Alec weren’t you supposed to… leave? Go somewhere?”

“I need to report everything to the Clave tomorrow. Then maybe. We’ll see.”

“You deserve to go Alec. I can take care of myself. I promise, I won’t try to hurt myself. I will, …I will stay with Izzy I.. I know I've done stupid things before when I had thought that I had lost her, but... this time, I won't Alec. I promise."

Alec seemed lost in his thoughts, then looking straight in eyes he said, "You're promising it now...and you had already closed your side of the bond. I'm worried for you Jace..."

"Alec, I know you are and I'm sorry. You deserve a moment for yourself. To stay with Magnus and to start thinking about the life you had chosen to live. If it will make you feel better,...I'll make a promise. A solemn one."

Jace put one hand on his heart and Alec raised his eyebrows.

"If my mind will ever be crossed by the idea of hurting myself, I promise I'll wait for you to come back... so you can find me, stop me and...then kick my ass", and smiling he reached out for Alec with his palm open.

Alec smiled and shook his hand back.

"Now I'll see if I can try to catch some sleep."

Alec looked at him. Wide-eyed. 

“Jace. You really think you can fool me that easily and make me believe you’re gonna sleep tonight? After everything that happened?”

“Alec I…”

“You need to be alone. Like I did. I understand that”, he gave Jace a pat on his back and stood up searching for Magnus.

Jace went to the guest room, the same one Magnus had given him when Aldertree had thrown him out of the Institute. 

He smiled as the images of Magnus and Alec kissing rose up in his memories… it had been not so long ago, but it felt like ages. 

His body fell heavily on the bed and the tears found their way out again, silently and relentlessly.

“Come with me?” Magnus reached out for Alec, who went behind him. 

“Let’s go on the roof, it’s a warm and bright night. A bit of fresh air will help us to clear our minds.”

The steps to the roof were narrow and winding. 

Magnus’ roof was one of Alec’s favorite places. He had spent many nights shooting arrows from up there, practicing with Magnus. The sky up above was beautiful and Alec was staring at it in silence.

“A penny for your thoughts?”

“It’s nothing…”, Alec looked down at his shoes. He was still wearing his black tux.

“C’mon Alexander, who do you think you’re talking to?”, Magnus clutched him and brought his finger under his chin to tilt his head a little toward him. 

Alec shrugged.

“It’s just that,…I’m happy Magnus, happy to love you, happy to be married to you and happy for the choice I’ve made…and so I feel guilty …like I shouldn’t be allowed to feel this happiness, …but I just can’t help myself”. 

“I’m happy too, Alexander. More than words could ever tell. There’s nothing to feel guilty about. It’s not our fault,…we had already paid a high price and who knows what else is waiting for us.”

Alec kissed him deeply, their tongues swirling softly, then started pushing Magnus backward, toward the building wall. 

Magnus was shrugging off Alec’s jacket, then grabbing him by the collar, pulling him closer, never leaving his lips. 

He snapped his fingers right before he was about to crush on the wall, so they both collapsed on a sofa, with a loud thud. 

They were both giggling.

Magnus withdrew from Alec’s lips and pushed him down on his back, then leaned beside him.

“Let me show you the constellations.”

“Can you name ‘em all?

“Almost…That, that one over there is Andromeda and the other one you can see on the left is Cassiopeia, then there’s Pegasus…” 

Magnus' voice was enchanting. 

“You know each one of them has a myth, a story behind…”

“Where …How did you learn all of this?”

“My mother used to show me the night sky and lull me to sleep while telling me all those amazing stories…”

“Promise me we will bring our kids up here and you’ll tell us too."

“Alexander…” he skimmed Alec’s cheek.

“And that one over there?”

“That’s Perseus… and that one a bit further down is…”

Alec was kissing him again, turning on his side to face Magnus and pressing him to the back of the couch.

“I thought you wanted to hear the stories…” Magnus said between kisses.

“No… Not now… Right now I want to celebrate.”

“And what is exactly that you’re celebrating?”

“My husba…aah” Alec gasped as Magnus’ hand slid inside his pants.

“…Mmmm... Magnus, it sounds so beautiful to call you husband…”

Magnus' dexterous hands closed around Alec's cock.

Alec started chasing that tight grip with sharp, quick thrusts of his hips. 

He was so aroused and overcharged that he felt he would have reached the edge too quickly, so he sat up abruptly, and halted Magnus' wrist with his strong hand. 

He was panting.

“What now?” Magnus smiled.

“I want this to last a little longer. But I really feel too aroused, I need to cool down a bit, otherwise, I'm gonna lose it before we've even started.” 

Alec was perspiring and gasping and Magnus thought he had never looked so beautiful.

“Isn't it the aim? Making you lose it? Lie back Alexander. C’mon lie back again. I’m gonna take care of you and catch you.” 

Alec fell on his back again, still breathing hard.

“You’re far too dressed, Magnus.”

“So are you, my dear.”

“Well… can you…help with that?”

“I could…if I only wanted to,… but tonight is my turn to unfold the gift,… my young and gorgeous husband.” 

Magnus started unbuttoning his shirt slowly, licking the hollow of his throat and gently sucking his Adam apple. 

Alec couldn’t breathe properly.

“Now,... as I take my journey down your chest and belly and hips and... further down... I'm going to ask you something and you are supposed to answer me, so focus", Magnus said between trailing small soft kisses and licks here and there. 

"Do you know the warlocks’ vows? The ones we speak when we choose someone forever?"

“Nn…Nnnn…No” Alec couldn't really concentrate properly on what Magnus was saying to him.

“ _My love for yours_ …” Magnus' mouth was on his neck, “ _My heart for yours_ …”, then on his chest, “ _my soul for yours_ …”, on his belly, “… _now and for all time_ ”. 

The shirt was completely undone, Magnus opened it and made space for his mouth. 

Alec couldn’t move, the couch was narrow, so he slid his hands on Magnus back, discarding the shirt.

“Turn for me”, Magnus’ voice was husky and low. 

When Alec complied, he started trailing kissed along his back, tracing every single rune with his tongue. 

As he arrived at Alec’s pants and boxers, he tugged them down to Alec’s knees, in one quick smooth move. 

Alec lifted his knees and there he was, naked and needing. 

He still felt a little embarrassed at being so exposed to Magnus. 

He loved it, but it still felt overwhelming.

The kisses were the lightest, the softest. Magnus started with his thighs, then his hips, his ass cheeks, his legs, his knees. 

Then he placed one lingering touch at his rim, gentle at the beginning, then turning more insistent, more demanding, more aimed. 

Alec started trembling, not only for the pleasure but for the sensation of being so loved. 

His thighs started to shake.

“Magnus…” he muttered “…I wanna see you”. 

Magnus lifted a bit so Alec could turn beneath him. 

“My stele.”

As his stele suddenly appeared in his right hand, Alec took Magnus free hand and curled it against his own, then brought their joined hands over his heart.

“Magnus,…can you…remove your clothes?”, blu sparkles enveloping them. 

“Now draw on me the wedded rune…, mark me as yours…and repeat with me the Nephilim's wedding vows.”

Magnus’ eyes were shimmering gold. 

Tightening his grip on Alec’s hand he mumbled, “Guide me” and their entwined hands started to sway.

_“Now place me as a seal over thine heart, as a seal over thine arm: For love is strong as death. And so we are bound: stronger than flame, stronger than water, stronger than death itself_ ”. 

The rune burned, the mark was black and stood out on Alec’s pale skin.

“Never in my life, I’d ever dreamt of sealing my soul with a heart as wonderful as yours, Alexander. You’re the best part of me. Now draw the same on my heart too. With this.”

Alec smiled and drew the rune just above Magnus' heart, delicately and gently as if Magnus was made of crystal. 

Magnus hadn't any tattoo and Alec was feeling so excited thinking that the only mark on his skin, would have been the mark that bounded his life to Alec's, that sealed their unconditional love.

Then Alec wrapped his hand around their erections and started sliding it up and down until they were both writhing, out of breath. 

Just a moment before climaxing, Alec's hand stilled.

“No star is as shining as your beautiful soul, Magnus Bane”.

Alec's breath trapped in his throat as Magnus wrapped his hand around Alec's one, and started jerking them off, with short sharp twisting tugs. 

Alec moaned as he felt that tingling sensation rising at the bottom of his stomach. 

“C’mon Magnus, together…”, and he let go, and Magnus went with him, because he knew that he would never be alone again.

They stayed there, soiled and sweat for a long time.

“So …how about the Spiral labyrinth tomorrow, after you’re done with your reports and then maybe… Where do you want to go?”

“Ehm… I’d like to see where you were born if you want it too.”

“Indonesia?”

“Yeah… But … why don’t we do it the other way around… Indonesia first, just a couple of days and then to our final destination.”

“Better choice. You’re _OK_ with leaving all this _mess_ here?”

“I … I think I am,…I might become immortal, but we won’t ever marry again…So… Let’s make the most of it.” 

He hugged Magnus.

“Now… Shower and then… My turn”.

Magnus laughed.

“I think I need to mix a potion to keep up with my _teenage_ husband.”

“Nah…You’re perfect and… see? Hard again…No need to drink any fucking thing… Let’s go…”

Magnus was born in a small village near Batavia, the old capital of the Dutch East Indies. 

Batavia was placed on the north coast of Java, in a sheltered bay, on a land of marshland and hills crisscrossed with canals, and paddy fields for kilometers and kilometers. 

Even if now the city was known as Jakarta, and it was quite huge, its surroundings were almost still the same.

The air was humid, Alec was sweating, his t-shirt clung to his chest and his biceps. His hair fell wet on his forehead as they approached an old Buddhist temple, in the middle of the jungle.

“How do you manage to make them stand like that with all of this… steam… “ and he pointed to Magnus’ hair.

“Warlock. Remember? Magic. All clear?” Magnus grinned.

“You’re gonna drain yourself with so much effort”, Alec laughed back, “Thank the angel we’re glamoured, otherwise you’d look a bit weird around here.”

“Says-who? The man covered in sexy tattoos.”

“ _Touché_ ”

“French now? Alexander… we’re in a sacred place... no funny, kinky ideas here…”

“My mind is just right where I am… No wandering. Watch yours instead… always floating…”

They stopped as there was a sudden clearing. 

The trees and bushes displayed all sorts of different shades of green, Alec didn’t even know existed. There, just in the middle, stood the temple. Old statues, ruined treads, grey columns. Huge and pointing directly to the sky.

“Magnus this is amazing”

“Yes, it is. I thought you’d like it. I used to come here… ever after I discovered my magic… to try it, to test it…I felt safe here. It’s an abandoned temple, no one ever comes here anymore, not even tourists, very few know about this place. And even back then….when I was a boy, the temple was abandoned because the people thought it was damned.”

His voice was soft, and Alec thought that at that moment Magnus looked strangely and oddly too young for the memories he was recalling.

“It must be strange and hard… being so young and so old at the same time”

_Did Alec just read his mind?_

“Yes, it is. And I’m sorry about that. I know it must seem weird. I have the body of a young man and the memories of an old elephant… and my soul is a bit… battered. It’s been a long time since I’ve been here the last time. Memories are still hard to forget and to accept. And no one has ever been here with me before.” 

His gaze was far-away, lost in the unfolding centuries inside his mind.

“Thank you for bringing me here, thank you for showing me.”

They visited the place, Magnus showing Alec each secret chamber and disguised angle. 

Behind the temple there was a small cemetery.

“That’s where I’ve been hiding when I murdered my stepfather… and that’s where Asmodeus found me. I ran here because I knew everybody was scared of this place,… everyone thought that there was a demon hiding somewhere. They were right. Here’s where Asmodeus took my mum… He told me later…And I came here cause I felt damned too… for being such a monster… I wanted to die, Alexander.”

Alec held him in his strong arms, sensing the fear, the desperation, and the loneliness of that little boy with cat eyes, who thought that his mother hated him.

“I’m sorry no one was there for you. You should have been loved.”

“That's when Asmodeus deceived me. He came to me with his cat eyes. The same as mine. And I felt home. I followed him and did as he told me. He used to say that I was his beloved son, the bravest, the most powerful, the most similar to him, his heir.”

Alec took Magnus by the hand and made him sit down, on the grass, on his lap.

“But as I grew older, I knew I was nothing like him. I felt trapped, and always thinking about how to escape from him. Then one day I rejected him and insulted him,… told him that I was going to live my life far from him…and he promised me that he would have come back to me… to claim me. That he would have chased me throughout the centuries. And he did. When I finally left, I should have felt lost, since I was completely alone, but no,… I felt free".

“That’s why we belong to each other”, Alec replied in a soft, quiet voice, “I have always felt trapped too, in my home. When I grew out of childhood, I always felt I was nothing like my parents. There had always been an impelling urge to escape, but I could never find the courage to follow that call. Until I met you.”

Alec leaned a little closer, and their foreheads touched. Then he kissed him, gently and devoutly.

Alec pulled back resting on his arms. 

“Magnus, if we will ever have a family of our own, I never want our kids to feel wrong, or like they don’t belong with us and I want our place to become home for all the ones that can’t call their places _home_ …just like you had always done...”

“I love you, Alexander.”

“Now…your village?”

“Yes…follow me”

Near the paddy fields, it seemed like life had been frozen. It was a landscape made of water, grass, wooden houses, and women that still made music with mortars used to pound rice. 

The noises of the big city were clearly audible even from there.

“When I was a kid, there was only water here…and silence…I used to follow my mum when she came to these fields to work. It was all so beautiful and so peaceful. It was here, in these fields, that my mother saw my warlock mark for the first time” 

His voice tensed.

“Magnus you don’t….have to… You said you’ve spent centuries to forget all this…”, Alec circled his shoulders with his arm.

“When I was tortured, these fragments had been stolen from me, I was forced to relive them again against my will. But now, I want to. I’ve kept these hurtful memories for myself for too long. I've never felt like there was someone I could talk about all of this… now, I have you. And I want to tell you,….so you'll know why,…so you can understand a bit more. I don’t want all this to haunt me if I’ll ever become a father. I need you to share this part of my life with me, then you’ll know where and when I might feel vulnerable…”

“Thank you”, Alec kissed him, “for sharing this with me.”

They sat on a big rock. The low hill towered the fields, the sight from up there was breathtaking.

“One day, my mother was harvesting and she was bent down. She was very young and beautiful. A Dutchman, who was surveying the field, came behind her and started to touch her. Even if I was a small child, I could feel that the way he looked at her, was…wrong. My mother stood up and shouted at him that he wasn’t allowed to touch her in anyway….” 

He paused, looking around, as if he was picturing everything again, right in front of his eyes.

“The refusal and her uprising were too much. He started yelling, telling her that she was a bitch…that the son she had given birth to was…., that I was nothing like my father. Then he began tugging her dress and in that very moment my eyes flashed out without me realizing it…I was furious…and my fingers were enveloped in red sparkles.”

Alec hugged him stronger and Magnus rested his head on his shoulder.

He kept on. 

“That was the first time I lost control of my eyes without being conscious of that. Of course I knew by then that I had some sort of powers, because I could do things that other children couldn’t…and every time I went experimenting beside the temple, I could feel my eyes _snap_ , but I was never able to see them since we hadn’t any mirrors.”

“They’re beautiful”, Alec whispered against his hair and Magnus gave him a feather kiss on his collar bone.

“Everybody around us started running away and shouting – _He’s a demon, he’s a monster, he’s not a human child…he’s the son of Rangda –_ a legendary witch in ancient Java.” 

Alec's arms tightened around him, and his thoughts went to Robert, to the thing he had told him when Alec had said that Jace was nice – _This isn’t a word you’re supposed to use for addressing another man Alec. It’s a sin, it’s an abomination… Always remember that_ … - Alec could clearly remember the shame rising inside his heart at those words, though he didn’t understand why. He was just a boy… not even conscious of what he had really meant saying. 

“We were alone in the fields and I still can recall the look in her eyes when she looked at me… She was terrified…Her hand on her mouth trying to push her screams back… - _Your eyes…you have cat eyes…._ – tears streaming down her face. That horrified expression has remained fixed inside of me, so strongly that in the years to come I had always thought that I deserved to be looked at, in _that way._ She ran away crying, and I started running the other way, covering my eyes with my hands. I stumbled many times since I was running blindly… until I fell. I kept my eyes closed shut until I felt them snapping back. I wanted to go back home and tell her that I was just her child, that I loved her, that I was sorry for being this way, that I would have never harmed her, that I needed her to stay with me, to help me through all this. But when I came back home, she had already killed herself and then, … well, that you already know.”

Alec’s heart clutched in his chest as he felt his skin turning wet and warm. He raised one hand and pressed it on the nape of Magnus' neck, pushing him even deeper inside the hollow of his neck, as to shelter him.

“You’ve kept this for yourself for too long, … let it go…Magnus, let it go…”. 

As his tears showered Alec's skin and his soul, Magnus felt centuries of pain flooding out from him. Alec kept caressing him for a long time until the sun was almost down.

“You know…”, Magnus sighed in relief, “since then, …I’ve always been searching for someone to tell me that I was ok, that things were gonna be ok. It took me almost four hundred years. I met you when I had lost all my hopes.”

Alec raised Magnus chin with his finger, “You’re more than ok and we’re gonna be more than ok. I love you Magnus, especially for all these things that make you so… _Magnus_ …I wouldn’t have it any other way. I wouldn’t have desired any other love…I love all of you and I want all of you,…just as you are.”

When they couldn’t breathe anymore from the kissing, they stood up and strolled around until Magnus stopped in front of a small fisherman’s diner.

“Let’s have dinner here…”

“Yeah…”

It was a full moon night, there was a light breeze and the sea looked enchanted with all those sparkling lights.

“How do you feel?”

“Marvelous Alexander. I’m glad we came here. It’s like my second life is beginning here again, right where the first one had started…”

Alec smiled. 

“Mmm…This is ….delicious”.

“That’s the _Sate Padang_. One of the best dishes you can eat around here.”

“Say something else”.

Magnus frowned.

“Talk to me in Indonesian. I love it when you do it", and Magnus laughed.

“ _Kamu Sangat Cantik_ ” and he kissed the back of Alec’s hand.

“Which means…..?”

“Ow… the furrowed brow, …so sexy. It means… _You_ …”, a kiss, “.. _are_ …”, another kiss, “ _so_ ”, one more kiss, “ _beautiful_ ”. 

Then his lips pressed harder on Alec’s and slightly parted them to deepen the kiss. Alec tugged him up and toward the sea. 

“Midnight swimming…”, he mumbled never leaving Magnus’ lips.

\---- X ----

Tessa was waiting for them outside the hall of the Spiral Labyrinth since it was impossible for a Shadowhunter to portal directly inside.

“Magnus”, she hugged him, “what a wonderful thing to have you both here.”

Alec was shining, he felt so happy, he couldn’t believe it was really the time.

Three cups appeared on Tessa’s desk.

“Sorry for not being there on youR wedding day. So, … to what do I owe the pleasure? I mean… it must be something important to ask me to come here at the Spiral Labyrinth.”

Magnus took a deep breath.

“Tessa… do you remember that ritual, … the one that long ago allowed mundanes wedded to warlocks not to age and die?” His voice was hesitant.

Tessa’s eyes went wide in awe.

“Magnus what do you…?”

“I want to stay with Magnus forever. I want to be…whatever I turn out to be, but be with him”, Alec’s voice was confident, no insecurities in his tone, his eyes focused and still.

“That ritual hasn’t been performed in centuries and… never on a Shadowhunter with half-angel blood.”

“I know, I know Tessa, but… could you just search in the archives and help us?”, Magnus’ voice was pleading. 

Tessa thought she had never seen him like that. Magnus was powerful, strong, and fierce, but she knew that deep inside, he had always been searching for someone to love him unconditionally as Alec did. 

She loved Magnus too, with all her heart, he was one of her best friends, and no one more than she could understand the strain and the pain of losing the love of your life,…even so…

“Alec, I can’t. You can’t.”

“Tessa, it’s my choice. I want to.”

Tessa turned to Alec, her expression was hard, like a mother that was going mad on a stubborn child.

“You don’t understand Alec, you can’t do that right now”, she held her eyes on Alec, “You’re not just _anyone. Y_ ou are the Head of The New York Institute and this ritual is against the Accords. No one, no one can be turned in anything else, not even willingly. I believe you know that.”

“Tessa…”

“I said no!”, she insisted, “I love you both, too much. And I can’t help you throw your life, your love away like this. You will be deruned if you survive the ritual, it’s not like you can hide from the whole Shadow World. And if anything ever goes wrong,… they will hold it against Magnus, you know that they will punish him… Alec… you’re a great leader, maybe the most outstanding one, make your way through the Clave, and change the law. You **_can_ **change the law, I know you do. Then…you can come back to me and I will help you in any way I can.”

Alec's eyes were sad, he swallowed and then replied, “You’re right Tessa. I can’t risk Magnus's life. I won’t ever do that.”

“Alec,…Just think,… That ritual won’t prevent you from being injured or dying on the battlefield, you already know that, as it is for Magnus, of course. You are still so young, very young, and you won’t grow older for a while. I know, I know you’re eager because you have youth on your side…and the newness of this love,… and I know you’ve nearly lost each other.” 

She stood up and went to the window.

“Magnus,…you know I love you and I’d do anything to make you happy, but this isn’t it, right now. You’re lucky to have found a love like this,…because I believe that times are about to change…Will and I could have never had the chance to… not even if we had wanted to… So don’t waste it. Protect him as best as you can.”

She turned to them, her eyes soft now. 

“Protect each other and come back."

Moments seemed like hours, then Alec stood up. 

“Right. We will.” 

He took Magnus's hand and squeezed it gently. 

“Ah…Tessa. Will you stand by me when it will come to convince the Downworld to change the Accords?” 

Alec was speaking in his leader’s tone now, thoughts fixed to a point in his mind…as if he was already there.

“I will Alec. If it’d be necessary, I will.”

“Fine. I think we’re done here, then.”

“No,… not yet”, Tessa’s voice was more gentle now. 

“Sit down again. You need to know what you’re throwing yourself into. At least, all that I already know.”

“Whatever it is, I’m sure I can take it.”

“Yes, but I want you to get prepared. It could make the ritual less dangerous." 

Magnus knew that this ritual could have involved a bit of risk-taking,… but he felt worried now.

“What do you mean Tessa?”, his voice was trembling.

“The only way this had been performed… The ritual implies a sort of blood transfusion between you two. Magnus has to share some of his blood with you, enough to replace the mundane’s blood or the angel blood, but we’d better don’t think about that now. I have to check in the archives. Anyway, since you have half-angel blood, the two types could just don’t fit together. Imagine a human’s transfusion with the wrong blood group, we don’t know for sure how your body will react to that, ‘cause no Shadowhunter has ever undergone this, at least not that I know. But if the process works like a poisoning, as I heard, … then maybe we can get prepared.”

_Silence_

“I remember that old warlocks, back in time, used to suggest mundanes to get used to demon blood, little by little, before the ritual”, she paused, hoping that they would get it.

Magnus and Alec were puzzled. Than Alec caught it.

“Wait, are you saying ... I should drink Magnus’ blood?”, he panicked.

“Don’t,…I mean,… not really drink it as a vampire would… you don’t really need to drink a large amount of blood. Actually the less it is, the better it is. You could just suck some of his blood if he hurts himself, like sucking an open wound, or you could… you know…”

Tessa was embarrassed.

“What? What else? I mean… it’s not like I can let Magnus hurt himself every day to let me get used to…”

Magnus placed his hand on Alec’s chest.

“Alexander,…I think I know what she’s trying to say. We could do something while we’re…” 

How could he be so out of words and embarrassed? 

He was scared Alec would have freaked out.

“Alec,… have you ever nipped or lightly bitten any part of Magnus’ body while you two are…”

Alec's eyes widened as he realized. 

“Ok,… stop. I… I…”, he stuttered, “I got it. How…”, he chocked, “… how many times do I…”

“The more you do it, the more it will start to flow into your system. You both can search for any side effect, even small reactions, so we can think about something to counterbalance.”

The air was thick, tension lingering. Magnus was staring at the floor, waiting for Alec’s reaction, scared that he might run away.

A burst of huge and loud laughter filled the room. 

“So, sex is gonna be a sort of antidote? I can’t believe I’m really up with all this, I’m even a bit turned on at the idea.” 

Alec was still laughing and blushing.

_What did he just say?_

Magnus couldn’t believe his ears. He turned his head toward Alec in surprise, smirking a little. 

Alec was red and truly laughing. 

A big smile blossomed on Magnus’ face.

Tessa laughed too. 

“Magnus,… this guy is really something else.”

“Well… let’s get started then.”

“I’ll open a portal for you.” 

Tessa gave Magnus a questioning look.

They both answered “Home”.


	4. Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec makes plans ... surprising ones, especially for Magnus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again mixing some tv fic and some from the books...

“Get the room dark. Simon and Izzy are on their way”, Magnus yelled from the bathroom.

__

_ Thank God we skipped showering together…. _

Shower sex had always been mind-numbing for Alec, it always left him shaky for a longer time. He didn’t understand why. 

Maybe because the water seemed to wash away all his insecurities and his self-consciousness.

__

Not that he had that much left in him anyway.

Maybe because the smoothness and the perfect sliding felt like melting into each other.

All he knew is that he always needed more time to recover. 

He wouldn’t have liked to look groggy in front of Izzy, she always been the best to look inside of him and understand what was happening.

The loft was filled in that mid-afternoon golden light, Alec drew the thick curtains so they were closed in front of the huge door window, slightly waving with the breeze. The air was still warm outside. Those little motions kindled by the light wind had turned the living room in a spellbound place, shades and lights alternating in the same spots.

__

How much time had passed? Just a few days…But Alec felt so different. How could it be so? Being the same and feeling so much unalike at the same time? Would it be the same too, when he’ll finally be immortal? Would he survive the transfusion?

__

_ I have to. I can’t leave Magnus alone. He would never forgive himself for being the reason for my death. And I have, for Izzy too. She could do it herself as well… if she ever wants to…  _

And how was he supposed to go through this whole…little poisoning process?

Magnus silently walked in the room with a fluffy black bath towel locked around his low waist. His sandalwood scent instantly spread around the room, filling Alec’s nostrils, making him almost vertiginous.

He remained silent, peering the city heading home, while Magnus kept taking small silent steps to close the distance between them.

“You know you can tell me, don’t you?”

Alec turned back, puzzled. Magnus’ sight hit him.

“What?”

“That the idea scares you”.

Magnus was waving his hand through his wet plain hair. Little drops were slowly descending from the nape of his neck down to his torso, glistening in the gleaming of the beginning sunset. It seemed like his skin was covered in a sort of hoarfrost, making him look so beautiful.

And Alec instantly thought of a dragon in all his glory. Magnus' eyes were strong, powerful, and sure. His enlightened body surging and standing out from the contrasting black robe. He was still silent, not knowing what Magnus meant, cause he didn’t feel scared at all.

“I’m not scared. Not as long as you’re within my arm’s reach.”

“You can change your mind anytime. I would love you anyway”.

__

_ Where the hell are your thoughts trapped? _

Their minds were on opposite sides, as in a tug-of-war game. Alec pulling on the  _ going through _ and Magnus pulling on the  _ what if _ .

“Magnus,… don’t be so cryptic… I don’t understand what you mean…”

“The ritual’s gonna be potentially… life-threatening, for you. And worst of it… you could be dying by my own hands.”

__

_ Ohhhhhh. That’s where you are. _

This assumption must have been plaguing Magnus since Tessa had spoken.

__

_ How can I be so selfish to risk Alec’s life? How am I even supposed to survive from the pain if he gets killed by my own blood… _

“Are you scared?”, Alec said back emphasizing the word  _ you. _

“Do you wish me to step back? I would if you’d ask me to.”

Alec always knew how to tear the veil off, talking in a way that made everything sharper and clearer. He wasn’t much of a talker, but when he rarely came to put his thoughts in words, they always were unmistakable. He never beat around the bush and Magnus thought that his way of speaking was just like his archery, aimed. His words were just like his arrows. Once shot, they never missed the target.

Even so in his bluntness, he was always so kind. 

Always when it came to Magnus.

Alec was huge,… tall, broad shoulders, thick trained arms, long and big scarred hands,… even his shade could be threatening if he’d approached in the dark.

But when he was near Magnus, he had that awkward kindness in his moves, in his eyes and his voice. Magnus always felt awed at being the aiming and the root of it.

“I’m scared of losing you. Yes. And I don’t want to be there to watch if you were ever dying because of me”

“Though, for me, it would be the best way to die. In your arms Magnus”.

Magnus was again out of words.

“If you’re not scared about the ritual, then why are you so absent-minded? You look worried.”

Alec slumped on the couch.

“I wanna do it right Magnus. For us. For Izzy. And for all the others like us. This could be a breakthrough” he halted, fidgeting.

“More also this whole blood thing…I don’t want to hurt you Magnus. I mean it. When Tessa asked me, I just realized I’m still at a starting point. Centuries of you having sex… just passed through my mind. And…no, jealousy hadn’t been the first feeling. More like… a deep sense of inadequacy. Sex between us… we haven’t tried anything different and…I…I felt aroused by her words and I thought that many times while we were,… you know,…making love I’d wanted to…but…” words were rattling off him.

__

_ When did he become so good talking sex?  _

“You won’t hurt me. It’s supposed to be pleasurable. And in fact, it will be. I will help.”

“Magnus I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m just new to all of this.”

“We’re gonna do that, together. And if it makes you feel uncomfortable, we will find another way.”

“Magnus… I...I want to be sure that I’m not hurting you….You know I’m quite the  _ living proof  _ kind of guy.”

“That means…?”

“Will you?...”

__

_ Fuck! Why can’t I just ask it as it is?. _

Alec took a deep breath, shut his eyes, and blurted out, “I want you to do that to me first. So you’ll show me how to make it good. I’m sure you’d tried ... this… other times. I want to know how it’s gonna feel for you. I mean…it’s not like hickeys ore small bits here and there…which we’ve done. I … it implies biting until you bleed… this,…this, yes, it scares me, and there’s more, Magnus…”

“Hi everyone… is it safe to come in? Are we…interrupting something?”, Izzy’s ringing voice filled the air as the door flung open.

Alec stood up.

She looked shiny. 

Alec recognized the beauty that comes from being finally truly loved for who you are. 

He always used to feel ugly when he was a teen. He thought no one would ever find him physically attractive. Too tall. Too clumsy. Too thick eyebrows. Too big hands. Too weird. Too grumpy.

But when Magnus had put his eyes on him, he suddenly had blossomed. 

He had assisted to all the Institute turning to look at him as if he was a worm that had turned into a fully colored butterfly. 

And also other men started looking at him differently.

Izzy, instead, had always been beautiful. But she was out of reach to anyone. Scaring them all off. Her beauty was somehow darkened by the lack of something.

Now that beauty was on full display.

“Hey Izzy...”, his strong arms enveloped her and she hid in her brother’s chest.

Alec had held her so many times…since they were kids, it had always been her favorite place to be, so reassuring, so comforting… and even now that they were adults, it always felt like a sort of homecoming.

Magnus returned into the living room fully dressed and fixed, beautiful as always.

__

“How does your husband manages to look so perfect at any fucking hour of the day?”

“Pleased to see you Simon. I see Izzy’s ways suit you…”

“My favorite stepbrother”, Izzy hugged Magnus.

“I don’t recall you having any other…”, he said kissing her on the temple.

Magnus loved Izzy so much. He felt like they were so similar in many ways. Strong, rebellious, self-confident…but with a fragile core.

“Oh, no one could ever equal you Magnus. So… how was Indonesia?”

“Great. Beautiful” they both answered.

Then a strange quietness fell on the room. No one dared to ask Alec what and if anything had happened at the Spiral Labyrinth. 

He was the one to break the silence first. Slumping again on the couch he cleared his throat.

“I’m not immortal. Not yet. This… it will take a little more time than we had planned.”

He looked calm, though his voice conveyed a bit of disappointment.

Magnus was looking at him with tenderness, as he thought how could it be possible for him, to try to make everyone feel comfortable, even when the price was high for him.

No questions followed. Izzy sat near him and Simon remained near the table, where Magnus was.

“It’s… it would be against the accords and that could just mess up everything. Me. Magnus. Us. So I…I’m gonna change the law first.”

“Oohhhh…” Izzy and Simon interjected.

Alec had just said it as if it was meant to be that way. As if he had always been knowing that this was his real duty. That this was his real call. That this would have been the gift he and Magnus were going to share with the history.

_ That’s what’s meant for me. Now I know it. _

__

It was like he had found his sense.

“Not to fluster you, big bro. But how have you exactly planned to change the laws?”

“Not all figured out yet. But I already have a couple of hints. And I already made a move.”

Magnus was stunned. While he had been worrying that Alec would have been scared, once the reality of all this would have sunk into him, Alec had been…  _ brainstorming _ …thinking…planning…projecting himself,…them…ahead. 

His eyes narrowed and breached Alec -  _ So that’s the other reason why you looked absorbed. You didn’t tell me anything-. _

__

Suddenly feeling exposed, Alec blushed and looked back -  _ I know. I wanted to-.  _

__

“Aww this is all on you Magnus. You’ve freed the leader in him. So? Care to share with us?”

Alec and Magnus were still eyes locked in each other. 

Magnus knew exactly where Alec’s mind was so he went first, “Where is Jace?”

The little crinkles that had formed at the corner of Alec’s eyes, relaxed. Then he stood up, crossing the distance between them.

“Yeah, where is he?”

“He’s being patrolling since you left. Must be somewhere out there. But… he should have felt you being near…again.”

“He had closed the bond. On his side.” There was a pain in his voice, but also a great sense of understanding.

“Alexander,…you didn’t tell me…”

“My mind wasn’t really on Jace when we were there”, he looked to Magnus, with deep penetrating eyes, not a hint of embarrassment in him.

“And I expected him to do it anyway. So I couldn’t  _ feel  _ his pain. It’s different knowing that someone is in pain and  _ feeling  _ it”

“He did it for you? For us?”

“I think he did it mostly for himself. Like I did when I broke up with you and I had to leave you. Jace and I share a part of our souls, but some feelings, some emotions are just too much …. For someone like me, like Jace, it would be worse than being naked; pain, anguish, and sentiments on full display. We… we aren’t so willing to share this…”, he was indicating him and Magnus, “…us… , he and Clary are… private things…”

“My guts were defineìitely right.”

“Jace!”, Izzy revolved toward his voice.

Jace went directly to Alec and gave him a little punch on his abs.

“Dozed off reflexes hm? Immortality already…”

“I’m not… Not yet. And I bet you would have felt it… something changing even slightly… so don’t try to avoid the subject.”

“Which was?”

“You and Clary”, Izzy and Alec had spoken in perfect unison.

_ Oh, Alec…if I could only find the courage to tell you… But I just can’t right now.  _

__

Alec’s eyes were pungent.

“I went to see her every day. Glamoured.”

“I know. I was there too.”

“Simon?”

“What? She might be yours now, but she has been my everything since… since I have memories of something…”, he was in pain.

“Sorry Simon… I didn’t mean to…”

“Does she seems able to see you?”, Magnus' voice was shaded.

“No, nothing at all.”

The air was thick again.

“Alec was just explaining to us his plans to change the laws and the accords…”

Jace frowned.

“It seems this is the first step for him to take… if he wants to undergo the ritual.”

“Dazzle me, brother.”

“Well, first… I will restart the Downworlders Cabinet meetings. This whole immortality ritual can be appealing for all of them, for all the others like me and Magnus…and Izzy and Simon…so that could be a way to call them in. To slowly change everything. Tessa is on our side, she had already told me. But… I was willing to take it a little further, gathering not just the New York Downwrolders representatives…I want to have the most important of them, to overcome any local reality that wouldn’t want to align with us…”

“I’m planning on putting on a real  _ world-changing  _ Cabinet. The Praetor Lupus first. They’re powerful and they can infiltrate almost everywhere. The new king of the Unseelie Court, Kieran. He’s already on our side, as Gwyn is, the leader of the Wild Hunt. And I will call the Seelie Queen too, of course."

_ He must be joking. _

__

“Ehm… Alexander you aren’t thinking of making the Seelie Queen and the Unseelie King sitting at the same round table for real, are you?”

_ Why am I even asking? Of course he is. Look at that face. _

__

Alec was standing again in front of the floating curtains.

“Of course I am. I just have to refine the details of the bargain I’m going to offer the Queen with Kieran and Gwyn. I’m gonna make the Wild Hunt come to terms with both the Courts. Maybe protecting them and not hunting or hurting them.”

“For the vampires I have chosen the leader of London’s Clan. They’re one of the biggest vampires community and their leader is one of the oldest… and I also found out that he's a daylighter too, even if very few know that”, he took a long pause. 

He knew everyone was expecting the representatives for the Shadowhunters and the Warlock’s community

“… then me …ehm…I called Jia this morning and told her that I was going to accept that  _ delegate  _ position she once offered me. I’ll be the Head of the delegates, directly under her supervision. Responsible for the Shadowhunter’s and Downworlders’ Alliance”

_ If you’re thinking of leaving me here portalling you back and forth, I’m gonna kill you Lightwood-Bane. _

__

A gasp escaped from everybody’s mouth. There was tension in the room. Magnus was breathing a little quicker. Alec remained still, giving his back to all of them.

_ How I love you Magnus when you get angry like that. I can’t see your eyes right now, but I can feel them on me. _

__

“… and here comes the first change in the accords…I brought Jia to consider that I was a married man right now, a Shadowhunter married to a warlock, under the Clave’s agreement, and that I wouldn’t be moving to Alicante without Magnus of course…”

Everyone was looking at Magnus… Was he really unaware? He seemed …lost….

Alec continued…

“And then I suggested that Alicante would indeed need a warlock sooner or later to adapt to the upcoming changes… a warlock as powerful as Magnus, which, by the way, had already saved the city and Idris itself. So Jia decided that we could move as soon as I found a new Head for the Ney York Institute and that Magnus was gonna be the High Warlock of Alicante.”

“You really didn’t know?” Jace turned to Magnus

“Well… I was about to tell him when Izzy just came in”. Alec replied.

_ Will you forgive me? I was dying to see your face when you’d find out… Sorry if we’re not alone. _

__

Alec wheeled. His eyes were full of love and he was staring at Magnus. He seemed a bit guilty, but a subtle smile was creeping under his serious stance.

_ You never, ever cease to amaze me Alec. _

__

Why was Magnus silent? Was he mad? He remained there, looking straight into Alec’s eyes, a gaze so intense that the others felt suddenly so uneasy that they eyed away from them, as someone who had just stepped into a too private moment.

Alec shrugged, never leaving Magnus' eyes.

“I thought it would have been a nice  _ first week  _ present for you”, and he smiled.

Tears were stinging behind Magnus’s eyes but he pushed them back. They were only Alec’s to see.

“I’d follow you anywhere.” 

Then he laughed swaying his head and snapping his fingers, long crystal glasses materializing in everyone’s hand.

“To my poker face husband!” he cheered.

Waves of laughter and giggles filled the room.

__

“So the changing has already begun I see”, Jace’s voice was sad and thoughtful.

“Yes. Alicante will be open to Downworlders to come, without needing to be explicitly invited there. And the Cabinet’s meetings will take place there.”

“You’re gonna be moving”, Jace stated. He felt a bit lost.

“Yes. We will be moving in a week or two. Just the time for me to step down and for Magnus to fix all his business.”

Jace felt hurt by that straightness.

__

Izzy’s eyes were glassy with unshed tears, as Simon took her by the hand.

“Ehm… there is something else I wanted to tell you. Izzy… I want you to take over me as the new Head of the New York Institute. You have good relationships with the Downworlders here, they trust you, and the Shadowhunters fear you, I already told Jia, and she agreed.”

__

The tears that she had tried to block started to stream down her face, while Simon was putting on his nerd smile, “Raj’s gonna freak out”.

“And you, Jace. You’re going to be the Head of the Training at the Shadowhunters’ Academy. So we will be seeing…each other…These are my last assignments as the Head of the New York Institute. Tomorrow we will make the change official, to the Institute and the representatives of the Downworld.”

Izzy hugged Alec.

“You’ll do good, Izzy. I know you and I trust you. And I have the feeling that you’re gonna be wiser… now that you have him by your side. He’s a good guy and he’s perceptive. Listen to him sometimes, more than you had done with me”, he was giggling.

He spun to face Jace.

“Jace…I hope I didn’t overstep you…”

“Thanks, Alec... I...”

“Did you really think I was going to leave you here, in this state of mind? You’re dangerous when you’re in pain. Remember what I told you on my wedding day?  _ Wherever I go, you’re right there next to me. _ ”

“Thank you for giving me a new place to live, a new aim, to have fewer memories to haunt me… and to have you and Magnus to help me. More also… I know I’ll love training young Shadowhunters.”

“You’ve always been the best soldier. And you know that you’ll only be a portal away from her… and since my husband is a warlock… I think we can manage…. I’d like to come with you sometimes when you go and see her. If you want me too…”

“Yeah… Me too…”

They hugged.

Magnus was watching them and thinking.

_ Am I gonna be living in Idris? Me? The son of a prince of Hell… in Idris. _

__

The sun was far down when Magnus laid some Indonesian food on the rug. Everybody was eating while Alec was telling fun facts about their two days vacation. He looked beautiful like that. Long legs crossed, head back on the couch’s edge, a wide smile spread out on his face, waving his ringed finger in the air while talking, as to be sure that it was true. That they had married. 

Jace was sprawled on the rug, down oh his elbows, laughing. Izzy was leaning against Simon, sitting between his legs, and Magnus was watching them, standing near the table with Chairman in his arms. Laughing.

_ See…Father…I finally have a family now. The one you stole from me when I was a child… The one you convinced me I could never have…The one you tried to steal me again…I get to have it. Like I have always wanted.  _

__

As Alec closed the door behind them and turned to kiss him, Magnus moved away.

“You’re far from being forgiven, Alexander…” 

He was stepping backward.

“Really now?”, Alec replied. 

“Are you going to hold this against me? That I wanted to make a surprise for our first week anniversary?”, he was still smiling, but his voice had become unsure.

_ Look at you, after everything we’ve been through, you still fear I wouldn’t be WITH you. _

Magnus was serious. His gaze breaching Alec, his chest heaving. And Alec thought about the dragon again. 

__

Since nothing changed, Alec started feeling uncomfortable. Was Magnus angry? His insecurities were welling up.

“Magnus…I’m…I’m sorry…I…I…”

Magnus started moving sinuously, like a panther chasing his prey, and alec was unconsciously stepping away from him. 

Magnus' glamour dropped as he enveloped Alec in a sphere of blue magic. The blue sphere had turned in whirling blue strands. It was a strange sensation, like the sand in Edom, but there wasn’t any dust in those ethereal ropes. Then, they were restraining him and … _ What?  _ … pulling him toward Magnus?

As the magic started to spread under his skin and Alec felt like he was losing all of his control.

“Magnus what…?” he was already perspiring and could feel the blood gathering down.

Then the strings tensed up and released quickly, like a rubber band, and Alec found himself lurched toward the source of the magic, toward Magnus, who was waiting there, with his arms open wide, apparently not waving his hands.

_ Is he doing all this with his mind?  _

__

The moment Alec hit Magnus’ chest he made a loud chocked gasp. The blue strings were now wrapping them both, Magnus’ arms surrounding him, his head buried deep in Alec’s collarbone.

“This is the energy that surges into me…whenever you’re around… if… if I don’t keep it creeping under my skin. So now you know….”, Magnus was breathing hard, “This is what you’re signing for, forever.”

“Mmm…Magnus…What? What is it? It’s beautiful…the feeling…It’s forceful, vigorous and compelling, but careful, loving and reassuring at the same time…It’s like feeling you…more…”

Alec didn’t know if it was the closeness with Magnus, his breath in his ears, his voice so far gone, but he felt himself hardening and aching for more.

Magnus' voice was lascivious like never before.

“You said you wanted me to show you…If you’ll let me, you’re gonna be having me and my magic outside, inside and through you…”

_ Where am I? In the present or somewhere else? In my mind? In Magnus' mind? In our shared souls? Why does it feel so real and so dim… Oh, God… _

__

Alec was panting, Magnus seemed so strong at that moment, trapping Alec into his stony arms. And Alec felt as if he was enfolded in blue dragon wings, with impenetrable scales outside and smooth plumes in the inside, wings so capable of killing and yet so cautious around him.

Alec moaned loudly when he felt a soft feather touch on the low part of his waist.

_ What? How? His hands are on my back… _

__

Alec's head started spinning and Magnus felt Alec tense inside his arms. He strengthened his grip on Alec, pulling him as close as he could, making their hips brushing, in a so well known dance.

Alec felt himself collapsing on Magnus and he unexpectedly felt the cold of the silk sheets beneath his back, …the contrast with his heated body made him jerk and whimper.

__

_ Did the magic ropes carry both of us? Oh God, I’m naked, we both are…When… _

Magnus’ hands were on both sides of his head, the blue magic was all around him too, like a galaxy of stars. He was smiling that amused smile, so full of love, and Alec loved that even in a moment like that, so sexual, so unchaste …Magnus could look at him that way.

“Do you trust me?” his voice was deep and raspy.

“Always” Alec managed to breathe out.

“Then lose yourself in me.”

Then Magnus leaned down to kiss him and in a second he could feel him everywhere. Alec was quivering, Magnus was all over his body, even in the places where their flesh didn’t collide. 

Then, he felt him inside of him, in his body, in his soul, in his mind, in his ears, in his mouth. It was impossible to separate Magnus' body from his magic. Magnus was everywhere.

Alec's body was responding as if it had been waiting for Magnus to give life to it. As if he had been an undefined form that Magnus’ love, hunger, and movements were bringing back to life.

He entwined his ankles behind Magnus' back, pushing him closer and deeper with his heels, shoving his thighs forward.

Shifting his weight on one elbow, Magnus wrapped his hand around Alec's cock and started to stroke it, twisting his wrist every time he reached the head.

“No…Nnnh …Mmmm…Magnus don’t…Let me come untouched, I want it to be, like this, I want it this way …”

The blue ropes were now going haywire, whirling like a hurricane, and Alec swore he could hear even the sound of a twisting wind. Then he felt again as if he was being enclosed in big comforting wings.

Magnus could sense Alec was close, he pulled out and sat back on his heels. His cat eyes were shining.

Alec whined at the loss and rose to search for Magnus, his eyes were lost, his lips swollen, and he was breathing so quickly he thought he was about to pass out.

The magic had become a giant bubble around them. Magnus took Alec’s hand and placed it in on his heart. Then he trailed it up on his chest, until it reached his lips, and gently kissed Alec’s fingers. One by one, Then his palm, mouthing at it.

His voice came out muffled. 

“Now I’m gonna sharpen the edges of my teeth…as I will do with you. So we won’t need to bite down too hard…to make it bleed…”

Alec bit his lower lip.

“Let me...”, Magnus leaned forward and lightly scraped his teeth on Alec’s lower lip, letting some blood out.

Alec gasped and moved closer. 

"I want to ride you."

He climbed onto Magnus’ lap and lowered himself, finding his rhythm, slow at the beginning, growing faster with each move and bounce. Their heads were bent down on each other’s shoulders. 

The narrowed space between them was making the friction perfect, and the sliding was enhanced by his leaking tip.

When his movements became more sloppy and erratic, Magnus raised his head a bit, mouthing at Alec’s collar bone and shoulder, showering him with wet kisses. Then he suddenly bit down on Alec’s flesh, tasting him.

The sharp pain mixed with pleasure. Alec wanted to speak, to moan, to gasp, but the air just couldn’t find his way out. He started shuddering, tightening his grip on Magnus' shoulders. 

Magnus curled his hands into Alec’s hair and pushed his head down deep in the hollow of his neck, sweetly but firmly, encouraging him to do the same. 

Alec tentatively grazed his teeth on Magnus' collar bone, a little stripe of blood hitting his lips and his senses. He licked the wound softly and Magnus moaned. Then he bit harder. Iron taste down his tongue and throat.

Alec sharply felt it when it kicked-in into his system, his head was spinning, his voice whimpering, his whole body shaking.

That was all it took for Magnus. He came with Alec’s name on his lips. 

Alec started sucking, lighter at the beginning, then a bit harder, and he kept on until Magnus’ breath had evened. Then he licked again, soothing the wound as if his tongue could sew up the cut.

They lost balance and collapsed together on one side, sighing. The blue ropes were now a sort of cloud that was floating around them.

“How is that everything comes so easy…with you?”, Alec shifted and stretched his legs, entwining them with Magnus’, who was quiet and focused on him. 

“I think I like this whole ritual’s preparation thing…”

“Told you…”

“And I also liked you being so…powerful…and a bit…rough…?

_ Is he drunk? High? _

__

“…and that blue magic…For one moment I felt like I was wrapped in a pair of strong dragon wings…you seemed like a dragon to me…”, Alec's eyes were dreamy.

_ He’s definitely high. _

__

“…I’d rather not…” Magnus chuckled.

“…No…No… it was a giant good dragon… he was… how can I explain? …Shielding me? Protecting me?...”

“Alexander, are you ok?”, Magnus stretched up on one elbow to check him.

“Maybe a bit… dizzy…and a bit…high?”, he was giggling, “Your blood seems like a good drug for me…I mean it must be the blood even if the sex was… beyond amazing…”, he was trembling.

Magnus was laughing heartily.

“Magnus?”

“Mmm”

“…that blue… magic…why, why didn’t you…why haven’t you showed me that before? Were you scared? About me? About me going away?”

“Yes, that. And I also thought it would have been better to wait for the right time to do that. It’s not like we’ve been together for so long, Alexander…And, last but not least, an old man has his secrets you know…Otherwise how can I hope to convince my gorgeous young husband to chose me…for eternity…”

“I love you, Magnus,… My dragon”.

“Morning…”

“Morning…How are you feeling?”

“Still dazed. But it’s a nice sensation. I like it.”

“Oh,… you think so? I’m a bit upset. You’ve had… what? Few drops and…you still feel woozy? You should text Tessa.”

“Right… But …also…”, Alec was babbling and couldn't think straight.

“Coffee?”

“Sure… better. Ehm… I was…also… thinking about establishing… Shit! I…I can’t put words together…”

“Drink.”

The coffee was hot and it helped Alec focus on the burning sensation in his throat.

“…I was saying…I want to put in place a Medical Council… with Catarina, Tessa, and… maybe some other warlocks expert in healing magic or blood rituals…to… go through the side effects of all this…make ‘em meet maybe once every 15 days…to search the archives, study remedies… and all this stuff. Do you think they will agree?”

“Yes, they will. And I will be the one who is presiding at it. Your side effects…are mine too, Alexander.”

Alec was smiling.

“I like you when you take care of me. A lot.”

Magnus blushed.

“Let’s call Cat.”

“Aaaaleeeeecccccc, Maaaaaagnuuuusssss…. You’re back!!!!” 

Madzie’s shrilling voice filled the hall. She was running toward Alec and he scooped her up.

“Oh…I see little naughty sorceress…already cheating on me…” 

Magnus pouted.

“Alec is so tall…his arms are so strong… Hahahahaha….”, Alec was twirling her in the air.

“So…How is the High Warlock of Alicante?”

Magnus froze, his killing eyes pinpointing from Cat to Alec.

“So you knew it?"

“You really thought that Alec would have ripped you away from your life, without being sure you’d be ok with that? Of course he came to me", Catarina’s smile was full of unspoken love.

“You…”, Magnus was pointing Alec, “and you…”, then Cat, “my husband…and my best friend…” he was laughing….and Madzie was laughing with Alec too.

_ You look so radiant. So damn happy. Oh, Magnus… Hell knows if you deserved all this. He loves you so much. The way you’re entitled to be. I will die to protect this, you…both of you. _

“You did it Alec! You did….”

“…even you sweet pea…you knew it too?”

Madzie waved her left hand and landed in Magnus’ arms.

“Are you… Are you happy now?”

She had her hands on Magnus’ cheeks. She was serious and she was staring at his eyes, searching for that sparkle, and Magnus felt his heart clench.

“Yes, sweet pea. I am. A lot. I’ve had a misconception of happiness before Alec came into my life.”

Madzie whispered in Magnus’ ear, “I love him too…He was so sad when you were gone… We all were…”.

Magnus hugged her even stronger.

“So…. Breakfast for all… No serious talk on an empty stomach”, Cat sprawled croissants, jam, coffee, and cream on the table cloth.

Madzie disentangled from Magnus’ embrace and grabbed a croissant, giving it a mouthful bite, making the chocolate dripping from both sides of her lips.

They all sat eating and chatting about the trip.

“Can I call you uncle Magnus and uncle Alec?”

“Of course, you can, sweet pea. We’ll be elated….”

“Ohhh,….Uncle Magnus, can I make butterflies on the balcony?”

“Sure sweet pea….Make them the most colorful you can…I’ll come and check in a while…”

Madzie rushed out on the balcony and with a wave of her hand a roost of butterflies was dancing in Magnus’ balcony, it looked like a kaleidoscope.

“So… Did you give it a try?”, Cat smirked.

Alec choked on his coffee, blushing.

“Magnus,… I understand why you find his blushing so amusing…”, she was laughing.

“So Tessa told you…She’s such a devilish friend…Anyway, yes… we did and this is one of the reasons we called you…Alec is still feeling dizzy…”

“When was it?”

“Ehm… last night”

“Let me scan you… C’mon Alec lay down the couch…”

Alec stood up and looked embarrassed.

“You don’t need to undress for me darling, the scan will work even with your clothes on…never fear. Though,…I would have asked you to strip for me only for the pleasure of making Magnus’ nerves catch fire a little bit… he’s quite the possessive guy…”

“I hate you…”

Cat’s hands scanning Alec’s body, up and down.

“You’re right. It seems like you’ve got alcohol or drugs running through your veins…Does it feel bad?”

“No. On the contrary. It feels good. I feel light-headed and a bit high…”

“Ok. Continue then. A little blood eveeeeery daaaaaay…”, she slurred.

“You’ve just free passed me to bang his brain out every day!”, Magnus was grinning. 

“As if you needed my permission..."

Alec stood up, “Can we skip to the next point?”

“There’s one other thing I wanted to ask you Catarina.”

“Before you go on… I said keep on with that…but I wanna be informed of every little change… even the slightest one…Did I make myself clear Alec? No fucking with this thing.”

“Well… that was exactly what I wanted to ask you. I want to set up a Medical Council with you, Tessa, Magnus, and maybe some other expert in blood rituals or so…To supervise the whole process…And write down a protocol…Not for me of course…For all the others that could undergo that…if… if... I will survi…”

“You will“, Cat stopped him.

“So… me, Tessa, Magnus and… we’ll figure out. Sure Tessa would know someone at the Spiral Labyrinth. I suppose we will be meeting in Alicante?”

“Yeah, after Magnus would have readjusted the wards.”

“Can I come to visit you uncle Magnus?”. Madzie was back in. 

Magnus kneeled in front of her.

“Sure sweet pea. Whenever you want to. Alec has made it possible, for all of you to come. And of course… we won’t ever miss our babysitting night…”

She gave him an Eskimo kiss.

“So when will you be leaving?”

“A couple of days I think. Alec is going to the Institute today to step down and since I wasn’t the High Warlock anymore, I’ve just a few clients to send to Lorenzo.”

Cat was near him. She could see in his eyes that Alec’s statement had affected him.

She hugged him and mumbled in his ear “I will look after him. He’s strong. And your blood…will be like the  _ ambrosia _ for him… cause it carries the love you feel for him."

A tear slipped from the corner of Magnus’ eyes. 

“Thank you, Cat. I’ll wait for you in Alicante.”

Alec gave Madzie a chaste kiss on her cheek.

“Sharks and minnows when you’re gonna be back next time?”

“Yeeeeessssss!!!!”

“Bye Catarina. Thank you… for everything…for being here for him….I’ll let you know how’s everything going and… when we can start with the Council ok?”

“Sure Alec…and… thanks to you. He deserved to be this happy, to be loved like this. To be so cared for. I won’t let you slip away.”

Magnus embraced Alec from behind.

“Were eavesdropping me and Cat?...”

“I don’t need to…I know you too well.”

He revolved in Magnus’ arms to face him.

“I’ve got to go to the Institute. Come with me?”

“I wouldn’t miss Izzy’s crowning for any reason. Then… Takis?”

“Yeah…I’m gonna miss this in Alicante….There is just nothing there to have some fun….”, his voice disappeared in Magnus' mouth.

“We’ll only be a portal away….and otherwise we will fill our spare time…differently….”

“All settled?”

“Yes Alexander. Everything’s fine. Whenever you are ready, I’ll move the loft”.

“Jace and Izzy are coming in a while. Then we can go.”

“Thank you… for asking to bring our loft there…It’s gonna feel more like home for me.”

“Magnus,…this is the only place I could ever call home myself... And…”, he took a deep breath while looking at Magnus, “…It’s me that should be thanking you for accepting all this, it’s gonna be the hell of a change for you… and I’m sure there will be stupid and bigot Shadowhunters that will look at you shamefully…”

He took Magnus’s hands in his.

"I want you to hold your head up high, you’re far much better than the most of them. I’m proud of you, for being your husband. Promise me…if anyone…anyone…is mean to you, hurts you, or ever makes you feel uncomfortable when I’m not around,…promise you will tell me.”

__

Magnus skimmed Alec’s cheeks.

“Do you think I’m not proud of all this? I used to enter in Alicante from the back door. Now we’re getting in from the very big front one. All because of you…I won’t ever let anyone smear what we have, what we’ve built. And… if anything happens…I will tell you.”

They were kissing and the blue magic was running free again.

“What the fuck is that?” a loud voice came from the hall.

“Say welcome to Jace, the cockblocker…”

Izzy started laughing so hard that she almost lost her balance.

“Brother in law…”

“I’d rather remain just Magnus, if I may…”

“You know Jace…the worst thing about Alicante is that… you’ll keep bursting into us without warning…”, he was smiling.

“You didn’t answer my question. What was that blue…wind? Your magic?”

“You don’t wanna know the details, Jace…”, Alec grinned.

“When will you be joining us?” Alec asked him.

“Next month. With the new entries.”

“So dudes….Ready to conquer the world?”

Izzy was drinking the coffee Magnus had given her.

“Readier than ever, we’re about to move the loft.”

“You’re gonna move the loft? Right now? Like you did the first time we met?”, Izzy was excited like a child.

“Yes darling, exactly like that.”

“I love the fact that we will be still allowed to come to this place when we visit you…It holds so many memories, for all of us…”

“You’re welcome anytime, Izzy”

“Oh, Magnus you know you’re gonna regret what you had just said, don’t you?”

“I know. I know.”

“We’re gonna be moving when in Alicante is gonna be dark. So…we won’t get too noticed… We both are supposed to meet Jia tomorrow morning”, Alec seemed worried.

“You’ll conquer her, Alec. Like you did with everyone else.”

“I hope so. She’ had never been so fond of me…You know…”

“Times are changing Alec, she knows this too. And Ailine and Helen will help. I’m sure”

After a little more chat, Jace and Izzy were on their way.

Magnus waved his hands, his cat eyes shining.

It felt like a little earthquake.

Then suddenly the golden light of the New York afternoon turned into a starry black night.


	5. It was meant to be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day has come...and unbeknownst to Magnus, he is about to receive his due. What he has always deserved...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve always wanted something like this for Magnus.  
> Anyway this chapter is for PhoenixStar73 I know she loves him so much. Thank you darling for your help in fixing the clothes details and the summary! Enjoy it.
> 
> P.S. The lyrics of the two songs are from – Depeche Mode I just can’t get enough and Sleeping at last – Turning page

The Gard, a simple fortress made of dark stone, was beaming under the light sun of Alicante.

That was the Consul and the Inquisitor residence, they lived there with all their families.

Alec had always dreamt of living in Alicante when he was a child, but now, as he was walking in those streets, it seemed to him a bit unfamiliar. 

Everything was still the same, but for the first time in his life, he felt a foreignness that he hadn't had the time to notice when he was there while Jonathan attacked the city.

Alec didn’t feel at home there anymore.

He knew he belonged to another place as if he was from another _dimension_ ….

Meeting Magnus, fighting for being who he really was, making difficult choices, had made him a man who didn’t fit in the strict rules of Alicante.

He wanted to be free. To be what he wanted to be. To change again and again. To decide for himself. And he wanted that for everyone.

The more his thoughts wandered, the more he tightened Magnus’ hand in his.

Just to be sure that _no one_ , _no one_ , could ever doubt what his first choice was.

_Who it was_.

Forever.

The small four demon towers were rising from the cardinal points of the building, and Magnus watching them.

“Are you sure I won’t turn into ashes….I mean will I be really able to get through them?”

“Jia is waiting for us. I’m sure”, little pants were coming out from Alec's mouth.

“Are you sure they won’t arrest me as soon as I get in there?”

Magnus was obviously teasing his far too nervous husband, trying to lessen the tension.

_Why am I so nervous?_

Just when they were transpassing the line between the two front demon towers, Alec turned abruptly toward Magnus and pulled him in a kiss.

“I bet Jia can spy on us….from those windows….”, Magnus muttered on Alec's lips.

“Good…So she really knows what she’s getting herself into…”

_Oh, God. I love you man._

They entered the big front door, the sentinels not even stopping them.

They were more than well known to all the Shadow World.

_Alexander Lightwood and Magnus Bane._

The Shadowhunter and the Warlock

And they were respected by most of it.

Magnus mumbled, “I am the one supposed to be nervous Alexander, not you. You are in your natural territory…”

“…But you,… you saved Alicante,…while me…I summoned a greater demon…stole vials of heavenly fire…and the angels know whatever…”

“Oh…here you are… the Lightwood-Banes…” Jia's seemed delighted to see them.

“Consul Penhallow” they answered together.

“Please sit down. It’s quite an honor to have you here in Alicante, after everything you have done for saving Idris. Was the place comfortable enough to portal your home here?”

“Yes, it was, thank you” Magnus answered.

“So… let’s start with the business. May I address you both with your own old names? It would be easier.”

“Sure Consul.”

“Mr. Lightwood then. You will be the Head of the Delegates. I am glad you have accepted the position as Head of the Delegates. As a Shadowhunter accustomed to Downworlders, I would like you to be responsible for the relationship between them. I expect you to replicate here what you did in New York. The world has to change. The alliance between the Seelie Queen and Jonathan almost destroyed us…we need to find a way to finally live and work on the same side…”

Alec wasn't expecting this, she was making it even easier for him. 

“Actually… I came here with the idea of telling you exactly this… If I finally sign up for this position, you have to know that I will turn the whole Clave upside down…”

“You hadn’t planned to ask for it, didn’t you?”

“No. I didn’t come here to ask. I came here to make a statement. I’m taking that position only if you’ll give me free rein. Otherwise we’re done here.”

The silence was deep and thick, almost palpable, and the room seemed hotter all at once.

They were sitting in the Consul’s office, side by side on two alongside chairs, their knees slightly touching.

And Alec thought how could it be possible feeling goosebumps all over his body just from that.

“You have my word Lightwood. Now I understand it, clear as a bell, that we need a sea change. And that you, _both of you_ , are the only ones that can undertake it. Mr. Bane,…I know that I have no right to ask you to trust me…. Our past history isn’t one of the bests…even if you had chosen to save Alicante only for personal reasons, you did it anyway, risking your life and sacrificing yourself. We will be forever indebted to you. So I hope you are willing to help Mr. Lightwood.”

“Of course. I’m willing to.”

The air seemed lighter. More breathable.

Alec reached out for Magnus’ hand, on his left thigh.

“Good. Now that the business is settled, let’s talk about your official induction as High Warlock of Alicante.”

_Official what?_

Magnus usually didn’t mind at all being under the spotlight. He loved it, he had always felt confident, bold, even cocky when he was the focus of all the attention.

This time though, the idea of being the target of so many strangers staring eyes, made him a bit self-conscious.

Alec caught immediately the change in Magnus’ mood.

“Ehm… an official induction?”

“Yes. Alicante has never had a High Warlock, so this will be the first sign of change. And of course it needs to be witnessed. By all Shadowhunters and Downworlders”

She stood up from her chair and walked to the window, turning her back to Alec and Magnus.

“It will take place in the Hall of the Accords. Tomorrow. If it’s not too soon for you two. You will have to readjust the wards, for all the Downworlders to come in safely. It is settled for 7 pm. Do you think you can fix the wards by then?”

“Sure. I’ll start as soon as we get out of here.”

“Good.”

When she turned to them again, she was smiling and Alec thought that he had never seen the Consul Penhallow smile.

“Now… Can we switch to the friends' zone?”

“Ehm… Sure…”, Alec was puzzled.

“Alec, Ailine, and Hellen wanted to invite you to our home. Next week? Thereby you two have the time to settle down. I would love to listen to all the stories Magnus… Can I call you Magnus?”

In Alec’s point of view, Magnus was pretty great in many things, but one of his best qualities was making space in his heart to let the others feel at home, at ease. There was always space in Magnus’ heart.

“Of course you can. We would love to come.”

\---- x----

“Izzy?”

“Hey Alec… are you all right? How was the talk with Jia? We’re all gathered here, wait a minute I’ll put you on speakerphone.”

“Awesome and unexpected”, he paused.

“Magnus? Are you there too?”

“Yes darling. I’m right here near Alexander. I would say today it was _a lot_ , even for an old warlock who’s middle name is _too much_ ”, he was grinning.

“So? Don’t leave us on pins and needles…”

“Look Izzy, tomorrow Magnus will be receiving his official induction as the High Warlock of Alicante…”

“Aww….”

“Will you all manage to be here?”

“Of course we will, Alec. We wouldn’t miss that… “

“All the most important representatives of the Downworld will be here too."

“You did it?”, Izzy’s voice was thrilled.

“Well,…it seemed Jia was on the same line. She had already planned all this. Just waiting for us to accept and fit in.”

“Right then… We’ll be there… We’ll ask Lorenzo to portal us there.”

\----X----

Magnus passed the rest of the day working on the wards. Alec was with him all the time.

The big demon towers at the borders of Alicante, the ones that Jonathan has shattered, were the latest to be fixed.

While Magnus was working on them, Alec’s memories went back to that wonderful and terrible night. 

He stretched his arms upwards, to lessen some of the tension.

_Oh how strange life is. That has been the best and the worst night of my entire life._

“Don’t do that, Alexander. Don’t linger in those thoughts. We’ve already been there. Cherish this moment and…will you help me?”

“How?”

“Focus with me… On the towers… And lower your arms, please, they are… distracting…”

Alec giggled and tilted his head a bit. He was still feeling his legs week form last night.

“Still feeling lightheaded?”

“More…like vertigo…you make me delirious…I don’t know what I will do when your blood will replace half of the mine…”

“You didn’t seem shaky in there though…” Magnus stretched his arm around Alec’s waist, to support him.

The door opened without Magnus even touching it. 

The loft was pitch black and silent, the Chairman mewling somewhere in the dark.

A blue slipstream lit the room, and hundreds of colored candles were spreading a feeble light.

“Martini?”, Magnus threw his jacket on the couch, with a smooth movement.

“Yeah. Thank you.”

They sat on the couch, sipping their drinks, Magnus sagging into Alec’s chest.

Alec thought about how many different meanings and contents silence could have.

When he first had met Magnus, the silence between them had been filled with embarrassment, promises, and unspoken things. When they had broken up the first time, the silence was crowded with his mistakes, with the guilt. It had been the place where memories of the kisses, the touches, and the love that he thought he’d lost forever had been haunting him. Then there was that agonizing silence when Magnus had been in the infirmary’s bed…. loaded with anguish, worry, promises and hope. Finally when he was forced to leave Magnus, the silence was _loud_ , thrumming in his empty head; it was all over him, almost suffocating.

Now this silence between them was comforting, full of understanding, a space for them to be, together and united, bodies, souls, minds. 

It seemed almost a crime to break it with words.

“How are you feeling?”, Alec’s voice was barely a whisper dissolving in Magnus' thick hair.

“Honestly? I don’t know…The whole ceremony thing is… I like it… though it feels a bit overwhelming…”, he sipped another bit of drink.

“I know… I’m sorry if it makes you feel uncomfortable…But I’m happy at the same time. You deserve that, Magnus.”

“You know, Alexander when I closed that rift…I had never thought I would have been given the chance to see Alicante again…and now I’m here. This feeling is... incredible. The idea that I am a survivor…that my destiny wasn’t supposed to be this…but you came to push me out of that path…”

“As you did with me…on that wedding day…and turned my life into something beautiful…”

Magnus rolled inside his arms like a snake, pulling himself up on his elbows to kiss him.

“It just came to my mind…that you’re not supposed to drink only Martini…”, and he leaned forward to kiss Alec.

\---- X----

“The wards are done”

“Fine then…Mr. Ba…"

“I remember we agreed it could be just Magnus…”

“You’re right… It’s still a bit awkward calling you by your name…Anyway the room is ready for you since it’s already 6 pm, you should…”

“You look…worried?”

“No. Just surprised.”

Alec was suddenly back from the loft, where he had left his siblings.

“Magnus, are you done? You should be getting prepared.”

“On that note Alexander, Jia was telling me that they have a room here...” he turned to Jia, gesturing her to continue.

“…to get prepared.”

Alec frowned.

“I… I didn’t know…well I’m going to take my things and…”

“Alone Alec. He has to be alone.”

He was about to say something, but Jia went first.

“This is our tradition, Alexander. When someone has to undergo a ceremony like this, to accept a role so important…No one has to get near him to threaten him or bribe him. …Not even his husband. You will wait for him in the Hall of the Accords, with all the others.”

“Oh. All right then. “

Alec spun and took Magnus’ hands in his.

“You’re gonna be ok?

Jia was startled by the sweetness of his stare and his voice.

“Alec, if Magnus is going to be ok or not, it’s not really the point here. That’s the way it has to be.”

“Yes, Jia. That’s the only point that matters to me. If Magnus isn’t ok with this, he won’t remain alone. You know that I’m quite fast and good at breaking the rules. Sorry Jia I didn’t mean to take it out on you…I’m just…”

“Alexander…I’m gonna be ok. Don’t worry. Even if I won’t be comfortable at a hundred percent, I can manage. I want to fit in as best as I can. Get prepared and come back here.”

Alec tenderly brushed his knuckles on Magnus’ cheek. Then he bent to lightly touch his lips, then his mouth moved to Magnus’ ear.

“I’ll be right there when you enter the room, search for me if you feel lost”, he mumbled only for them to hear.

Magnus smiled.

\----X----

The Accords Hall was huge and filled with Shadowhunters in full combat gear, as it was for all the induction ceremonies.

The pale walls were reflecting the bright light of the sun that was pouring in from the big glass skylight on the ceiling.

The sky was still blue, getting darker and mixing with purple and orange nuances due to the sunset quickly falling on Alicante.

There was a low stage near the mermaid’s large fountain in the center of the room, and Jia was already standing there, waiting for the crowd to gather around.

Alec was standing near the stage with Izzy, Jace, and Max on his right side. Simon, Maryse, and Luke were right behind them. 

Robert was on the other side of the stage.

There was an empty space on Alec’s left side, large enough to let two or three people gather there.

When the flow of Shadowhunters entering the room stopped, there was a second of silence, then a blasting sound as dozen of variously tinted portals opened suddenly into the Hall; warlocks, vampires, seelies, and werewolves stepping in, one after the other. 

For just a moment it seemed like a carnival and Alec’s heart filled with pride and happiness. He had been living to see this day.

“Uncle Alec!”

From a pearled white portal Madzie, Cat, Tessa, and Raphael were making their way to the empty space Alec had saved for them.

“Hey Madzie… see? You’ll be right in the front so you won’t miss anything.”

“Hey Alec, I thought you were with Magnus”, Cat was smiling. She was wearing a beautiful white dress; Alec guessed it was devoted only to warlock’s celebrating dates. Tessa was beautiful too, a dark green long dress making her seem even younger than Alec had ever seen her before. They were all shining in happiness.

“No, the protocol says he has to be alone, before the ceremony. Ah, Raphael, I’m so glad the seminary let you go out for this day. Magnus will be so happy, he isn’t expecting you to be here.” 

He hugged Raphael.

Alec and Raphael had never been too close, but Alec knew that he was a son for Magnus and he knew that he was a good man, trying to make amends for the mistakes he’d made when he was an immortal being.

“May I welcome all the Downworld’s delegates gathered here today for this crucial event. Story, traditions, and laws are to a turning point. Everybody keeps their place. We’re about to begin”, Jia’s voice echoed in the Hall.

Alec felt a knot in his stomach. He tried to breathe but the lump was surging inside his throat. His legs, always week since he first sucked Magnus’ blood, were certainly about to abandon him.

“Buddy, you’re not fainting aren’t you?”, Jace suddenly put his arm around Alec’s shoulders, feeling a bit of unsteadiness through their bond.

“Uncle Alec, your hand is trembling”, Madzie said as she was literally squinting his hand.

Alec couldn’t answer back.

_Come on Magnus, show yourself. I’m dying here._

“Hey Alec, are you feeling all right? You look… disoriented”, Cat’s voice was a bit anxious. She squeezed his arm.

“Ehm, yes, yes Cat. Just a little bewildered.” 

He was breathing quickly.

“Any side effect you didn’t tell me about?”

“No, no… always the same, just the sensations are getting stronger every day and I realized that they tend to heighten when I get emotional. But I’m ok. I promise. I feel something inside of me that is strange and familiar at the same time, I don’t know how to explain it…But I’m fine.”

All of a sudden the monumental wooden doorway slammed open as if it had been hit by a powerful stream of wind.

Magnus stood there on the threshold, yellow sparkling cat eyes disclosed and unglamoured.

He was dressed in his High Warlock full regalia, a dark purple tux, necklaces, and rings flashing under the candle lights.

No doubt, no uncertainty, no weakness, he was the exhibition of immense and prodigious power.

“Fuck, Alec he’s really cool…”

“He’s everything, Jace”.

Jace turned to Alec to look inside his parabatai’s eyes, there wasn’t only love in there. They were full of admiration, respect, astonishment, and consciousness.

Magnus searched out for Alec in the crowd, with only his pupils scanning the faces, not moving anything else.

And when their eyes met, they both felt a click inside of them, just like the first time they had held their hands, side by side, around the pentagram that Magnus had used to summon the memory demon for Clary.

_I’m with you. Now and forever._

Cat was crying.

She was silent but tears were streaming down her cheeks, a tight clench inside her chest, she had never thought she could have been crying for too much happiness. How many years had passed? For how many years had she held Magnus’ hands, listening to him, comforting him? How many times had she prayed to a God unknown to them to let him find a soul who could be as big, as deep, as wonderful as Magnus’ one was?.

Magnus had never been a warlock like many others. He had always been special. Powerful but caring. Strong but delicate. Harsh but sweet. Hard but understanding. And he never had been in peace with himself, with who he was, with his heritage.

Never before Alec.

Magnus began to walk toward the stage, the only sound was the fabric of his golden cloak’s train gently hitting the floor with a soft rustling sound as he slowly stepped forward, leaving a trail of golden glitters behind him. 

His eyes were painted with a purple eye shadow, the black eyeliner combined with just a bit of gold that matched his yellow eyes and deepened his stare.

What a vision he was. Alec was sure everyone in the room was slightly shaking in fear, his inner strength oozing out of him at every pore.

“Magnus Bane, you saved Alicante and Idris from being destroyed. You sacrificed yourself to close the rift and willingly exiled yourself to Edom. You have grown with the Silent Brothers and the Clave has witnessed you sealing your life with a Shadowhunter. Now I am asking you if you are willing to protect Alicante for the days to come, willing to collaborate with Shadowhunters to change the laws that made us live in hatred, darkness, and misunderstanding for centuries.”

“I am.”

He felt shivering inside, but his voice sounded incredibly resolute.

“Then pronounce your oaths.”

“I, Magnus Bane, freely accept to become the High Warlock of Alicante. I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the alliance between the Shadowhunters and the Downworld against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will help the changing of the Laws and do my best to protect them. I will show mercy to the ones that will admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness and I will be unforgiving to the ones that will betray their vows and that will show no sign of regret and contrition. I will use my magic to protect Alicante, as my new homeland and as the new homeland of all the Shadow World United. I will dispense my powers to those who ask for help and share my knowledge to accomplish peace.”

Only Alec noticed that his voice was slightly quivering in the end.

_I love you. I love you. I love you._

“May you receive the angelic rune. May this irreversible drawing be the emblem of your vows and commitment.”

Magnus rolled his right sleeve up and with a permanent ink Jia drew the angelic rune on his wrist.

“You will have power on the Downworld and rule beside the Nephilim as an equal. Every Nephilim and Downworlder will pay respect to you and will follow the orders you’ll give. Now everybody stands up and salute Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Alicante”

All the room stood up and answered “ _Salutem Dicit_ ”

Alec felt a tingle in his eyes, he was so blissful and overjoyed. He tilted his head down, pressing his forefingers on the inner corner of his eyes and blinked twice to push the tears back.

Surprisingly, he felt a strong tender hand bringing his chin up and then soft lips on his. Magnus was kissing him, passionately. After a moment of blind shock, Alec opened his mouth and welcomed him, his hands clutching the collar of Magnus’ cloak, to pull him closer.

They stayed there for a while as if they were alone in the desert.

“Now the best part High Warlock,… let’s go party….”, Cat grinned and kissed Magnus on his cheek.

\----X----

Magnus had been smiling, chatting, and dancing all evening with almost everybody who attended the party. 

He had divested soon of his gold cloak to remain just in his dark purple tux. He had been deliriously happy to see Raphael there, taking his time to ask him how his life at the seminary was going. 

For one moment he had stopped thinking about how it would have been enjoyably funny if only Ragnor could have been there too, with him, with them, to witness such a moment. Magnus always thought that Ragnor would have loved Alec. The perfect noble Englishman in him would have found Alec’s composure, discretion, coyness, and diffidence absolutely perfect and admirable.

_I miss you my dear old friend. More than words can tell._

Alec, on the contrary, had been quiet all night, standing beside a wall of the Hall for the majority of the time, drinking a bit and talking alternatively to Cat and all the others. It was Magnus’ night and he loved seeing him so celebrated and praised. More also Magnus looked so beautiful that he was fueling his desire, at the point that he had started to feel uncomfortable in his own gear.

When the party was almost ending, a bunch of young girls and boys entered the room. They were the new ones enrolled in the Shadowhunters Academy. Jia allowed them to attend the party at the end, to meet Magnus. They all pointed directly toward him scared and astounded. Magnus was glad to shake hands, dispense smiles and even give some of them a tender tap on the cheek.

He was over four hundred years, but he looked like he was barely twenty. _And he was damn beautiful_. Alec knew exactly the sensation his closeness could give; it will make you forget that you were standing near a centuries-old man and he could clearly see two of those girls staring at him intensely, practically drooling. Then a black-haired girl, who recalled a younger and unscrupulous Isabelle, leaned toward Magnus and whispered something in his ear, smirking while pulling back.

Magnus didn’t answer anything or made any move. He just turned in Alec’s direction, closed the distance between them, to drag him into a sinful kiss. The girl had followed Magnus with her eyes and now was biting her lower lip ashamed.

“Seems someone is too much-in-demand for my taste”, Alec was murmuring in Magnus’ ears.

“Were you jealous?”

“Maybe… just a little…you’re so gorgeous…I can’t blame her…”, his hands were holding Magnus so forcefully.

“Alexander… are you in a possessive mood?”

Alec loosened the clasp on his back to take hold of one of Magnus' hands, slowly lowering it, to halt it just above the waistband of his gear pants. What Magnus sensed was unmistakable.

“This is what you do to me. I’ve been so for the whole evening while you were being flirtatious to all the guests.”

“I love you, even more, when you get jealous like this.”

“I want to go home.” Alec’s voice was hoarse now.

“Patience is a virtue my love…and an angel should know it quite well… aren’t demons the ones that rush into things?”

These were the moments where Magnus was reminded of how young Alec was, he could get turned on so easily, he was in his youth … and he was just starting to discover the whole sex universe.

Magnus stepped back and untangled from the tight grasp.

He blew a chill blue whisper in Alec’s face, making Alec’s teeth sharpening instantly, and mouthed “The night is far from over”.

Then he turned his back to him and went back to the guests.

_Fuck Magnus! You’re gonna kill me. I can’t even bite my lips now._

A new song began. Music fast.

Magnus started dancing with Izzy and Simon, his body moving swiftly following the rhythm.

Alec was watching him eagerly, following the lyrics of the song, that were just matching his feelings.

_...When I'm with you baby_

_I go out of my head_

_And I just can't get enough..._

_...We slip and slide as we fall in love_

_And I just can't seem to get enough of..._

He collapsed onto the wall again, trying to focus his mind on something else. But it wasn’t possible. The sight of Magnus tonight was irresistible, making it so difficult not to think about throwing him down on the first floor or furniture beside them.

“I wish Clary was here”, Jace's voice was shallow, and Alec could see he was struggling not to be submerged by his emotions.

“She loved Magnus so much”

“I know. Me too.” Alec answered back.

“Feelin’ ok?”

“Ehm… yeah…a bit tired maybe… I want to go home”

“Have you seen the youngsters there? Those are yours… _students_ …”, Alec tried to turn away Jace's attention from him.

“I’ve seen them. They really look like we were just a few years ago…and ….have you noticed the black-haired one… flirting with Magnus?”, Jace was grinning.

“Asshole! You were dying to come to me and say that, weren’t you?”, Alec shrugged.

“Feeling Jealous? You’ve nothing to be worried about buddy. I’ve rarely seen someone so in love as Magnus is with you.”

Jace's head was lowered, facing the floor, he was staring at his feet.

Alec stood up properly again and put one hand on Jace’s shoulder.

“I’m aware. And God knows how much I wish it was the same for you.”

\----X----

The walk home had been filled with the emotions and the adrenaline of the day.

They were walking hand in hand, in silence, with Alec’s thumb drawing circles on Magus’ knuckles.

As soon as they entered the loft, Alec took hold of one wrist and hauled Magnus, pinning him on the wall, caging him between his arms and keeping him trapped raising his knee between his thighs and pressing their foreheads together.

He was gasping.

“You’ve kept me on the brink the whole evening, I couldn’t even do anything with these teeth.”

He lowered his head to mouth at Magnus’ neck, cautiously.

Magnus was trembling part form the pleasure part form the lingering danger. He knew Alec would have never hurt him, but the idea of having those teeth so close to his neck was exciting and threatening likewise.

He could have used his magic to slam Alec on the opposing wall, but he liked it when Alec became controlling, so he just melted into his vigorous and lusty touch, deciding to edge him even further.

“You are far too gentle and endearing…you know I’ve had vampire sex before…”

Alec’s hands locked Magnus’ wrists in a deadly grip.

“Don’t… don’t …don’t do this…making me think about you and Camille having sex right now…”

He was panting, his nerves screaming, his mind struggling to keep control over his reactions.

“Oh…actually I wasn’t’ exactly thinking about her…. …If you wanna know, I’ll tell you.”

“Fuck Magnus”

He rested his forehead on Magnus’ chest, he could hear the beating of his own heart everywhere: his head was throbbing, his closed eyelids were pulsing, the blood in his veins was rushing like a swollen river.

He could also hear Magnus’ heartbeat. Warlocks had a different pulse rhythm, Alec had learned it sleeping on Magnus’ chest so many nights, it was steadier, less shifty. But now it was matching his own, it was frantic like the flapping wings of a little bird trapped in a cage.

Magnus' words had made images flash inside his mind, making his jealousy intensifying, and Alec was scared of his harsh eagerness, his craving for owning, his yearning to make Magnus his.

Seconds ticking.

_Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

Alec dropped down on his knees. Before evoking Magnus magic for help, he tore Magnus’ belt apart with his sharpened teeth. He ripped the leather with one strong motion, dragging along the zip.

Magnus was shaking like a leaf in his hands, and Alec’s heart melted at that trembling.

He bent forward and let his nose nudge softly along the fabric. Then he started trailing surprisingly feathered kissed up and down Magnus' length.

He steadied Magnus hips and thighs pressing them gently into the wall with his arms.

Magnus felt his trousers and underwear sliding down his legs.

“Undo my teeth”, Alec's tone was assertive but tender.

“Alec…”

“I’m waiting”

Magnus waved his hand and Alec felt the edges of his teeth turning back to normal.

Alec moaned as he took Magnus inside his mouth. He didn't want to be gentle and slow this time, so he started to slide eagerly and fast up and down. His tongue was everywhere around Magnus, alternating little swirls with sloppy licks, his lips sealing around him.

Magnus' hands slid down the wall, searching for something to hold on to. 

Alec’s moves ceased all of a sudden, his sighs were warm on Magnus exposed skin. He pulled back a little, licking Magnus' head with the tip of his tongue. 

Magnus couldn’t move. His hips were firmly but gently pressed into the wall. Every time he made a tentative attempt to buck them forward and chase Alec’s mouth, the latter pressed him on the wall.

“Alec…Alexander…pl…pl…please…let me move. Please”

Alec seemed not listening, fully concentrated on Magnus. When his legs were shaking so hard that he thought he was collapsing on the floor, Alec leaned forward again, removing his hands and discharging Magnus' hips.

The only sound that left Magnus’ throat was a whisper of Alec’s name and his legs gave out.

Alec was waiting for him, arms spread wide.

“That was for the teasing, now I’m gonna make love to you… I feel…thirsty… ”

He stood up, lifting Magnus as well and carrying him in his arms, bridal style, kissing his head, his cheeks, his eyes, his lips, and laid him on their bed.

“Was I too rough? I’m sorry for your pants… I just needed to tear something apart…Did I scare you?”

His voice was so gentle and soothing, searching for a forgiveness he didn’t need to ask for.

“No Alexander, not at all”, Magnus was searching his mouth now.

Alec lost himself in that kiss, all tongues, and licks, and sucks.

Laying on the bed Alec started to undress Magnus’ waist with one hand, whispering loving words while kissing him.

His voice was barely a mumble, but Magnus could hear everything.

“You know, when I saw you today entering in that Hall, I thought that even if I was going to die in that precise moment, I wouldn’t have had any regrets…..”, his tongue was designing circles on Magnus stomach and chest, around his nipples and hip bones.

“My deepest desire had been fulfilled, seeing you there, admired and worshipped for the wonderful being that you are. I would have died happy knowing that you could finally be yourself, fully and beautifully.”

Alec was back at his neck, murmuring while kissing.

“You are everything. Human and demon. Magical and enchanting. Ethereal and substantial. Wind and earth. Fire and water. Wonder and miracle. Everything.”

Magnus was relaxing under his touch, giving in to the pleasure, and to his love, his magic blue ropes were sneaking up from all over is skin enveloping them, and by the end of the speech, Alec’s was pressing into his entrance and throbbing deep inside of him. He wasn't moving at all, his limbs stilled as Magnus was staring at him lovingly with his cat eyes.

_…I've waited a hundred years_

_But I'd wait a million more for you_

_Nothing prepared me for_

_What the privilege of being yours would do_

_If I had only felt the warmth within your touch_

_If I had only seen how you smile when you blush_

_Or how you curl your lip when you concentrate enough_

_Well I would have known_

_What I was living for all along_

_What I've been living for…._

_…._ _I surrender who I've been for who you are_

_For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart_

_If I had only felt how it feels to be yours_

_Well I would have known_

_What I've been living for all along_

_What I've been living for…._

Magnus went first, kicking Alec a bit, making him sink even deeper, losing his balance and control.

Alec started thrusting into him, as if he was a wave crashing on a shore, adapting to his borders, eroding it with each hit. 

Gasping Alec blurted out, “My teeth … Magnus…my teeth", and he felt them sharpen again. 

Just a second before losing himself completely inside of Magnus, he grabbed the wrist with the angelic rune and pierced the skin just a bit, the blood pouring steadily in his mouth, and he sucked.

Magnus almost lost consciousness the moment his orgasm hit him, overwhelmed by Alec.

As Alec broke off, soothing the cut with his tongue, his arms gave out and he collapsed on Magnus. His head was spinning, and the air was missing.

“Magnus…Magnus… I…I think….I’m gonna faint…”, he grabbed Magnus’ shoulders, his nails digging in his skin. He felt trickling and prickling everywhere, and he saw flashing lights behind his eyelids.

Magnus grabbed Alec’s head and laid it on his chest. The blue magic ropes curled around him. They felt like a million plume fingers skimming his skin.

“I’ve got you, Alexander. Lay here, on my chest, breathe through it, breathe with me”.

Alec buried his head in the middle of Magnus’ chest, just above his sternum, letting the unpleasant sensations fade progressively.

He exhaled.

“I think I drank too much.”

And they laughed.

\----X---- 

“Have a seat” Alec’s voice echoed in the Hall.

He was walking in, all in black, towering, and resolute.

No one could have guessed his head was going in circles.

Magnus followed him.

The members of the Downworld’s Cabinet were standing around the oval table settled near the fountain.

Alec proudly noted that there was no one missing. Keiran, the Seelie Queen, Gwyn, the praetor lupus, and the head of the London’s vampire clan.

Everybody took his place.

Magnus was on his left side.

“Anything to drink?” he asked looking around.

Waving his hands Magnus accomplished each request.

“Triple coffee for me.”

The left corner of Magnus’ lip raised in a cognizant smile.

He took a sip.

“So. Here we are. I want to thank each one of you for accepting my request. I’ve been appointed from the Consul to change the Laws and the Accords that are currently governing the relationships between Shadowhunters and the Downworld. My wish and behest are to change them with you. All of you. The distance and the conflicts between us have led Valentine and Jonathan to almost destroy the entire Shadow World. We need a thorough change and you all know that. I won’t accept any taunting or accusing behaviors between all of you. If we expect this to function and the others to follow, we have to start here. This Cabinet will be a place to put down new rules, new ideas, new ways and we will all be equal. Meaning that each of our votes counts the same.”

Amazement, astonishment, and awe.

“These are my conditions. And they are unquestionable. The ones that agree may stay, the others are cordially invited to leave this table. Now. But be aware that this choice could be a declaration of war. You won’t be able to come to us for protection against any enemy. The Warlocks are already in.”

Magnus' eyes were fixed on all the Downworlders. He knew they all take his presence and adherence in great consideration.

No one made any move.

The change was about to begin.

_._


	6. You are the magic in me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A year has passed for Alec and Magnus... big changes are about to come...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter... but Chapter 7 is following really soon...  
> 

Tessa and Cat were quickly making their way toward Alec’s office in the Gard.

Magnus had sent them a fire message, with just two short words, written down in capitals letters.

_ COME. NOW. _

__

Almost a year had passed for Alec and Magnus to change the Law and the Accords, slowly, one step up and two steps back.

They had gone through every little detail; working first on public arrangements and deals, then to the daily living rules of coexistence.

They had made it clear that both parts were to be considered equals in every situation and that they could share powers and abilities, to fight and defeat common enemies.

They were going through the last week of meetings and they were finally dealing with private and intimate relationships between Downworlders and Shadowhunters couples.

This involved also rituals for becoming immortal or binding mortal lives to immortal beings.

They had been scanning the matter point to point, details and features, items, and aspects.

They had taken into account every little difference between each different pairing couple of Shadowhunter and Downworlder.

Alec wanted to make this right.

By the beginning of the next week they would have made the Accords public.

To all the Shadow Wold.

Alec knew a lot of Shadowhunters were going to be against him.

Against him and Jia. Against the change and what was going to happen.

Against him and Magnus.

And he was growing worried for Magnus.

“Magnus. Magnus. What happened?”

Cat’s high-pitched voice was coming from the corridor.

The sound of quick steps approaching.

Cat and Tessa walked through the door to find Alec sitting at his desk. His head hanging down between his hands. His palms pressing roughly at his temples, his eyes clenched.

Magnus was behind him, his hands on Alec’s shoulder blades, drawing soft soothing circles on his back, hoping to give him some relief.

“Tessa, Cat. Alec’s head is hurting. Badly. It started this morning after he woke up. A slight pain at the beginning, but it’s been rapidly increasing. He…It seems escalating and heightening every time I use my magic “

_ I’m going to destroy the only beautiful, wonderful, worth-living thing I’ve had the joy to welcome in this life of mine. I always destroy what I love the most. _

__

Magnus' thoughts were in a loop.

__

His voice was strangled in hurt. His words were softly spoken as if he didn’t want them to hurt Alec even more.

“He hadn't wanted me to give him some solace from the pain. He wanted you two to come first and see what was happening.”

Alec was feeling like throwing up. The hammering was unbearable, pounding into his skull.

Cat approached Alec cautiously.

“Darling, I need you to tilt your head up and take off your hands. Do you think you can you do that?”

Alec tried to nod but hissed instantly at the almost imperceptible movement.

He felt he couldn’t remove his hands… as if they were keeping his cranial bones and brain to splatter on the room’s walls.

Magnus slowly spun Alec’s chair around and kneeled in front of him.

He curled his hands around Alec’s, with such graciousness and gentleness, that they seemed made of thin air.

“Hey…Let me help you. You’re not going to shatter in pieces. I’m right here. Ok? You don’t need to move at all. I will do all the work for you. Try to breath”, his voice brittle.

He started to pour magic into Alec’s hands, making them detaching little by little.

Alec’s breathing quickened a bit. He gagged.

“Try to relax. I know. I know. It will be over in a while.”

__

Cat spread out her palms making them rapidly flying over Alec’s head.

She stopped. Her eyes grew wide in astonishment, and Magnus didn’t miss it.

He had to call up to all his presence of mind, only because he knew Alec was genuinely in his hands, and that he was hurting badly.

Cat turned toward Tessa. She was dumbstruck.

“Come and check him yourself.”

Tessa’s magic was golden.

Magnus had almost forgotten how many times he had seen that gold flow streaming from Tessa’s hands… on Will, on Jem… on mundanes…

Magnus had always thought Tessa was born to become a queen…And she had become in some ways…. She had been Will Herondale’s queen, for as long as he had lived.

His heart clenched at the thought of losing Alec or saying goodbye to him like Tessa had to do with Will and their kids.

Anyway pain had never made his way through Tessa… She was fierce and strong. And she had that reassuring smile, for everyone that crossed her path.

_ Oh God this boy has an impressive high pain threshold. _

_ How can he even stay seated like this, silent and not screaming his lungs out?  _

_ More than the half of people I know would have already passed out. _

__

The answer her magic brought out was self-evident.

Before sharing her certainties, she quickly waved her hands again above Alec.

The pain was gone, and Alec sagged on Magnus' shoulders.

Two strong arms were waiting for him and closed immediately behind his back in a tight embrace.

“You’re ok, darling. Stay here and rest a bit.”

The air grew quickly full of unspoken words. Magnus didn’t dare to ask, waiting for them to talk first.

As always, it was Alec that broke the silence, with his incredible straightforwardness.

“That bad?”

His voice had come out croaky. He was still feeling sore and lightheaded.

His head was resting on Magnus’ shoulder.

He was worried about what Tessa and Cat had found out.

More for Magnus than for himself.

He knew Magnus was already blaming himself and his blood.

Magnus remained silent, his fingers clutching Alec’s t-shirt.

“Well ….. Bad is not exactly the word I would have chosen”, Cat didn’t seem worried, more like stupefied.

“Did you feel that too Tessa?”

Tessa stood silent. She was always the best at choosing the right words at the right time.

“Alec…next time you are hurting so badly, you must let Magnus help you somehow. That…that kind of pain could easily break you. I mean… it’s not healthy to bear such….”

Magnus stiffened.

_ You are always the same brave, stubborn idiot.  _

Alec gently brushed his lips over Magnus’ collarbone.

“Alec…Magnus… Catarina is right…. What she…what we felt while scanning your head isn’t bad…on the contrary…it’s incredible, I think I haven’t seen such a thing in my whole life, just read about it in the archives.”

Alec slowly tried to raise his weight from Magnus.

Magnus helped him lay back on his chair and stood up again beside him.

Cat was looking at them intensely.

Magnus’ expression was serious, fierce, his eyebrows furrowed, his lips tightly seared as if he wasn’t sure how much he could bear.

Alec looked exhausted. Bearing all that pain had drained him, but his eyes were flaming.

He was eager.

Eager to know.

“Come on girls. Let it out.” Magnus was trying to pull out the funny side of all that.

“Magnus, your magic runs inside Alec’s blood. It’s almost tangible.”

"What?"

__

“Don’t, don’t panic…. I didn’t say Alec can use your magic, probably he just can sense it, feel it, when it gets activated and you use it. Alec’s blood is slowly adapting to the changes, and it seems that this little poisoning preparation that you two have been undergoing for almost a year,…. had led Alec to have your magic running through his veins, sensing it every time it flares out. I… I …. When I read stories about that at the Spiral Labyrinth I never really believed this could be possible…..”

“This… this terrible headache you were having…should be your body adjusting to having such a powerful source of energy flooding inside you, that aren’t the normal nutrients you are used to….”

“Nutrients?” Magnus’ raised his eyebrows.

“Well, yes… in addition to feeling your magic when you use it, it seems like Alec should be able to use that energy power… like a nutrient…like his body could call out to this inner strength and refill himself in this source of energy… but I‘m not completely sure by now how this is going to work. Tessa and I have to do some research. I’m just telling you what I felt, it felt just like that like an extraneous nutrient Alec has to adapt to… I’m quite sure that these headaches will cease in less than a week after Alec’s body had completed his accommodation process and had figured out how to grant access to that energy.”

_ So I can feel Magnus using his magic and can use his energy to replete mine? - _ Alec was overthinking again.

__

“Did… Tell me how it started…this morning I mean…Did you… in the last days…”

Alec’s voice was hoarse. He also felt a little embarrassed, but they had to know.

“Me and Magnus, we… we were having… we had a couple of days off from all these meetings and…I… we …couldn't find our way out of the bed until this morning…and only because we were needed here….”

He sighed and let out a playful puff smiling, staring sheepishly at the floor.

“Your ultimate wish Bane… someone to deplete you, not from using your magic….”, Cat was smirking.

“Wait… are you saying that Alec has my magic running through his veins only because we had a non-stop lovemaking session for two long days? And by the way… stop me calling Bane… that’s not my name anymore… ”

“Magnus…” Alec was about to make a desperate attempt to shut his husband's mouth… but he halted because he truly loved this side of Magnus.

“Of course not Bane. Ehm… Lightwood – Bane. This must be the peak of this whole process. But, tell me more Alec, go on. What happened this morning? Did you wake up with this headache?”

“No. Not at all. Only the usual dizziness I’ve become so accustomed to, in this last year. We got up and… well Magnus waved his hand to make the bed. Now that I am telling you, I realize the first stab in my head hit just the moment he did that gesture, but back then I didn’t realize the conjunction. Then…” he paused, clearly making an effort to analyze what happened during that morning under a different light.

“…then Magnus conjured some breakfast and… the pain slightly increased, but I was convinced that it was due to our… well you know…later he portalled us right here and at the moment he opened the portal my head started pumping more and more, but the real pang, like a thousand knives stabbing inside my skull begun when Magnus went out of my office to work on the wards. I don’t know how I managed not to scream out, I just collapsed on the desk…”

“…the exact moment Magnus was using a great amount of his power…”, Tessa concluded.

“It makes sense now.”

She turned to Magnus.

His gaze was speculative, thoughtful.

“You felt something, Magnus. Didn’t you?”

Magnus was still silent, his eyes staring sightlessly into the darkness, trying to focus on what had been… that feeling, that strange sensation he had while he was fixing the wards.

“Now that you explained to me, I dare to say yes. I did feel something. When I was using the most of my power I suddenly felt a tug, something was yanking at my magic, like a call for help. But I can figure it out just now. It wasn’t anything recognizable for me. Nothing I’d ever felt before, so… in the beginning, I didn’t mind. Then the jerking was becoming stronger and stronger, and I was starting to feel uneasy. So I decided to come back to Alexander and tell him about that… That’s when I found him gasping for air on the desk…with his head in his hands….”

Instinctively his hand went to Alec’s hair and caressed him lovingly, Alec leaning into that soft touch.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Alec asked him.

"Alexander... how could I? You were barely breathing..."

“That was Alec,...Alec was trying to pull out energy from you, to overcome the pain… His body automatically searched for that fount of strength… And you felt it tugging… trying to steal the power out from you… Am I wrong?”

Magnus nodded.

“No, you’re right. That’s exactly what I felt… and my uneasiness was due to that feeling… because it felt external but familiar at the same time, it wasn’t threatening…”

“Let’s make a try….” Tessa said.

“Portal back to the loft and cast a spell… a strong one… we’ll stay here with Alec… don’t worry, he won’t’ get hurt and also it doesn’t have to last long …I just want to be sure that what we’re assuming is correct. And when you’ll feel the tug… don’t fight it…but follow it…trust it…it’s your own magic calling for you…”

“Are you ok with this?”, Magnus whispered in Alec’s ear.

“Sure Magnus. We have to do it. We have to be sure. Tessa and Cat will take care of me…” 

He turned his head to kiss Magnus’ palm.

Magnus opened the portal and disappeared.

Alec’s head stung.

His breath was heavy again. Cat was about to heal him but Tessa stopped her.

“No…. he has to be hurting if his body has to seek for Magnus’ energy to help….”

“Don’t… ah…don’t worry Cat, I can take it a little more.”

As Magnus was casting the spell in their loft, Alec’s head started throbbing again, the suffering turning worse.

Alec was trying to breathe through his gritted teeth.

“Don’t fight the pain back Alec. Let it flow, let it free to search out for help.”

The pain was almost unbearable now, making Alec collapse on his knees, just in front of his big chair.

He leaned his head against the cold floor hoping to find some relief.

Magnus felt it instantaneously. A sharp forceful tug inside himself. Like a voice echoing inside of him, calling, calling….And he surrendered to the call… trusting it just like Tessa told him to do.

Without even realizing …he was back in Alec’s office…his magic had portalled him right there, to the source of the tugging.

He looked puzzled… watching his hands unbelievingly.

“Aww….” Cat and Tessa were astounded.

“Did you?... You didn’t…”

“No…I ….” He couldn’t speak too confused to put words one after the other.

Then he saw Alec on the floor, his thighs were trembling and he was furiously rubbing his forehead on the floor.

He kneeled beside him and was about to wave his hand on his head when Cat anticipated him, a white string of magic enveloping Alec’s skull, the torture subsiding immediately.

“It's better if you don't heal him with your magic… not until he has gotten used to having it inside himself…”

Magnus sat on his heels as Alec did, turning his waist to face Magnus.

Magnus seemed shocked.

“Are you ok? Magnus… What happened… Look at me?”

“I…I didn’t open the portal willingly… “

“Mmmm?”

“Meaning that your …your…you made me portal here…Wait…” he spun to face Tessa “You knew it?... That’s why you told me not to fight the pulling but to follow it…”

“I didn’t know that for sure Magnus…I’ve just heard about that…Never seen it with my own eyes…That’s also why I told Alec not to fight the pain back…”

“So … my body… searched for Magnus energy? And pulled him back here?”

“Exactly” Tessa took a sit on the couch in front of Alec’s desk.

“Do you know the ancient Greek myth of Ariadne and Theseus? I’m going to tell you the real story now.”

Cat sat near her.

Alec and Magnus remained on the floor like two kids waiting.

“At the Spiral Labyrinth, warlocks have been studying these myths for centuries, because most of them were a way to explain strange things happening, things that belonged to the Shadow World.

Ariadne was a sorceress, a very powerful one, while Theseus was just a human being. They fell in love and Ariadne didn’t want to lose him.

So she probably came up with a sort of ritual to make him immortal. We didn’t figure it out yet, maybe we will never be able to.

It seems that with this ritual Ariadne’s had bound her magic to Theseus, we can't say if willingly or not.

Theseus was going to ask Ariadne’s father her hand.

She needed to protect him because she knew that her father, Minos, the Cretan king, would have asked Theseus to kill the Minotaur in exchange.

And that he would have accepted since he was so in love with her.

But no one had ever survived and escaped alive from the labyrinth before.

The mundane’s legend recounts that Ariadne gave him a ball of strings, telling him to unfold it while he was entering into the labyrinth, to find his way back when he had killed the Minotaur.

We believe that the string the myth talks about was, in fact, her magic. We believe that Theseus searched for her magic when he was in danger and that she could pull him back out of the labyrinth thanks to this magical sharing.

As proof, all the legends say that Theseus was brought to Olympus after this expedition and that he became immortal.”

“So... will you be my Ariadne?”, Alec was smiling widely to Magnus.

“Shush… silly archer…”, Magnus leaned to kiss him. “How are you feeling? Better?”

“Yeah, better… just a little stiffness left.”

“This will be a great power for you two to share. No one has ever seen that in centuries. And… I think that when these headaches subside… You’ll be ready for the ritual. When is the day for the new Accords and Laws to enter into force?”

Alec encircled Magnus’ shoulders.

“Next Monday. We are setting the last details now.” Magnus answered back.

“Good. We have one week more. I’m going to meet a warlock… he’s in Buthan…He… according to the archives in the Spiral Labyrinth, he’s living as a Buddhist monk… But he was the one who performed this ritual… many times…so it seems…”, Tessa was standing up ready to go.

“And I remember you have an anniversary to celebrate….”, Cat was smiling.

Alec’s face lit up.

“Yes, we do.”

He stood up and carried Magnus with him, never living him.

“Magnus, it’s better if you mix for him some painkillers potions. Take them when you’re feeling pain. But I’m sure all these headaches will end up soon”

“Thank you both.” Magnus hugged Tessa, then Cat.

“Take care of each other boys”, white and golden strings filling the room.

Jace was running along the corridor…. He had felt something was wrong with Alec, even if he still had his bond closed, he could remotely feel that his brother was uncomfortable. He ran to him as soon as he finished the first-morning training class.

“Alec? ….Alec? What… what happened? Are you ok?”, Jace was staring Alec.

His parabatai looked drained… his eyes looked tired, and he could see dark circles beneath them.

His breathing was still unsteady and Magnus? He was surrounding Alec’s waist with one arm as if he was supporting him.

“Jace… I thought you couldn’t feel anything… anymore…”, Alec’s voice seemed fatigued too.

“I… I felt something… like you were … uncomfortable….?”

“I… I had a throbbing headache… as if my head was being shattered into pieces…the pain had been almost intolerable...probably that’s why you felt it.”

Jace was looking at Magnus, his eyes carrying a mixture of shock and barely contained anger.

“Couldn’t you heal him?”, the words had come out a bit too wheezy.

“Jace…”, Magnus stuttered.

“Drop it. Now!”, Alec addressed him in a stentorian tone. He had a piercing stare, and his features had hardened.

Alec had never, ever looked at him that way, not even when he was mad at him for being messing around with Clary in the first days.

Jace felt like he had fucked up another time. 

He loved Magnus, he did now, with all his heart.

Well, maybe, in the beginning, he didn’t at all.

It wasn’t just that he didn’t trust him cause he was a warlock and a Downworlder and “ _ a bit of a lothario… _ ”, as Robert had apostrophized him.

It was also that Magnus had stolen Alec from him…

Magnus had been able to sink into his brother like no one else before, he had planted his roots in Alec’s heart, and……most of all, …

he had made Alec shine, he had made feel Alec loved and happy. He had made Alec proud.

Something he’d never succeeded in.

Maybe it had been his fault.

He had never been able to see in Alec all the things Magnus had drawn out.

He used to think that Alec was loyal, honest, selfless, fierce.

But Alec was so many other things.

Now he knew that.

Cause he had seen up close.

No, that wasn’t jealousy.

It was just the sad realization that he had always been too self-centered to see how many beautiful facets Alec had.

Some he would have never seen if it hadn’t been for Magnus.

Magnus… who had traded his magic to save him.

Magnus, who had gone to Edom for them.

Magnus…

“Sorry Magnus…I… I didn’t…mean to take it out on you… I’m sorry…I’m just so… sorry “

Magnus smiled at him.

“Never mind Jace… I understand, you love him and it’s easy to get the wrong idea …More also… we all know… this year has been exhausting for you…so… Why don’t you sit here so we can go into the details, together?”

Jace gave him a tremulous smile, his eyes watering as he thought how could Magnus always be so understanding and forgiving,… always toward him… even though he often had been an asshole to him.

“Yeah, sure…. Thank you Magnus.”

As Jace sat on the couch, Alec relaxed and leaned upon his desk while Magnus stood near him, never diverting his eyes from his husband, to check that he was ok now.

As if he read his mind, Alec raised a hand and rested it on Magnus' cheek, “I’m fine. I really am.”

“I asked him not to heal me. We needed to know… what was happening, so we called Cat and Tessa.“

Alec stopped, trying to search for the best words to explain.

“I… It seems like I have Magnus’ magic running inside of me…and that I’m getting adjusted to it… I can  _ feel _ him while he uses his magic and… I can use his energy to … to help me…”

Jace was wide-eyed.

“You can  _ sense  _ his magic inside of you?”

Alec nodded.

“And you can  _ call for it _ to… use it?”

“Not to use it…”, Magnus stepped in, “he can’t use my magic. He can turn to it when he’s in danger or pain, and it seems that I can follow this call and… find him. Tessa had said this hasn’t been seen in centuries….”

There were no right words to express Jace’s disbelief.

He was happy that Magnus could help Alec when he was in danger.

But in the meantime,…he felt so alone now.

Clary was gone, probably forever, and now his brother, his parabatai, closer than blood, closer than anything.

He had known it, since the day Alec had asked him where Magnus was, when he had activated the Soul Sword.

Even if Alec hadn't told him, he had seen it in the desperation of those eyes, of those words, that Magnus had become Alec’s lifelong love.

When he had Clary though, this distance he could feel building between Alec and him wasn’t that bad, they were both happy, both in a committed relationship, both adults.

They both where were they had meant to be.

But now, with Clary gone… Alec was his only anchor.

_ Don’t leave me Alec…please…don’t abandon me… _

__

“Well… and what…what else? If there’s….”, Jace muttered.

He was scared of the answer.

“Cat said that when the headaches subside, we will be ready to perform the ritual…”, Alec added.

Jace could tell that there had been a slight tremor in his voice.

Was he worried? Was he unsure?

Jace knew that if the bond had been opened again he would have been able to tell that.

But he wasn’t prepared to share all his pain with Alec.

“Oh… so you’re here… finally…”, Jace was genuinely smiling at Alec.

“Yeah.. so it seems…”

Alec was feeling so many emotions inside of him.

He was happy, eager to have his forever with Magnus, scared of failing him along their eternal journey, worried for Magnus if he should have died during the ritual and he felt also guilty for Jace.

He knew his brother was in pain,… he knew that pain very well, and… he knew Jace was afraid of losing him too,… even if not physically, he feared to lose Alec emotionally,… forever, ...and he didn’t want the ritual to break their parabatai’s bond.

More for Jace right now.

_ Oh, Clary… how much I wish you could be here right now… to stand on Jace’s side while I have to go through all this. _

“Jace… I already told you…at my wedding,… but let me spell it out for you one more time. Now that we’ve arrived at this…I know you’re scared of losing me,… of losing what we share,… but… even if I will change, even if our lives will change… you will never be alone… we’re parabatai… even if there won’t be a rune anymore,… you already share a part of my soul… and that part will live forever inside of you. Look at us now… You can’t feel me anymore,… not that much anyway,… cause you’ve closed the bond… but you were still able to come here and check,… you were still able to catch the slight trembling in my voice just one moment ago, I know this because you’re trying to ask me, to understand if there’s something wrong with me and the ritual.”

“Well, I’m sure about this. Never been so much. Am I scared? Yes, I am. For Magnus.”

Magnus' eyes glistened.

“As I am for you. Because I know you are grieving… I know that without Clary… you’re not the same Jace anymore.. “

He sighed.

“… I know what Clary had done for me, for us…I would have never had the choice to be so close with Magnus if it hadn’t been for that memory demon,… I would have never been able to save him from Edom if she hadn’t drawn on us that  _ alliance rune, _ … Izzy would have never survived the burn of the heavenly fire,… we would all be dead… killed by Jonatan if she hadn’t sacrificed herself for all of us.

But most of all I know what Clary had done to you and for you.

She had found the little Jace inside of you, the one that you cautiously have been hiding inside yourself cause he had already been hurt too much. She had taken him in her arms and made him believe that it was safe to love and be loved. So, yes. I am worried about what you will do without her, if you lose me too.”

Jace had tears inside his eyes.

“Alec… I… I just can’t talk about all of this right now. I… I need to go…”

He turned his back to them and went out.

“Was it too much?” Alec asked Magnus with worried eyes.

“Maybe it was. But Jace needed to hear you say those things. Even if he can’t process all of them right now. He will be able soon. And when he will… he’ll come back to you.”


	7. The world on your shoulders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jace, Alec and Magnus… go together on an important mission…  
> An anniversary has to be celebrated.  
> But the unknown is waiting…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You'll find a three lines quote from "I get to love you" - Ruelle

“Alec? Are you home? “, Jace was slowly opening the loft’s door.

He had learned not to just slam it long ago.

Magnus and Alec could be really… embarrassing sometimes.

He silently smiled at the memories of all the times he had stepped in… while they were  _ ‘busy’ _ .... and careless of the world around them.

Alec had grown so sure of himself that he was even careless of him.

Something Jace would have never told.

“Jace?... Alec is showering…. Come in… I’m mixing a potion… for Alec… But you can make yourself at home…. ", Magnus’ voice was coming from his workroom.

Jace entered in Magnus' private room. He needed to be with someone.

"I'm surprised you're not showering together…I know Alec appreciates it…a lot…"

"Actually, I just got out from a two hours bath…", Magnus smirked,

He loved making Jace feel a bit uncomfortable.

"... But as you know… It requires Alec a bit more to...recover from that…"

Magnus had never moved his eyes from the potion he was mixing.

"No more ass details ok?"

They laughed and then Jace fell silent again. 

_ How am I going to ask Alec to do this? How I wish he could understand without me asking it… _

Magnus raised his head and looked toward Jace.

He could tell that something was wrong with him.

But he could also sense that Jace wanted Alec to be there and listen too.

"Magnus…I'm done you can go yourself…."

Alec was walking barefoot inside the living room, just in a pair of tight black boxer briefs.

He was drying his hair with a black towel, shoving it strongly around his head.

Jace made his way out with Magnus to greet him.

The first thing that caught his attention was a purple mark just above Alec's hip bone.

It seemed,  _ fresh _ ?

"You weren't bullshitting Magnus…", Jace gasped smiling.

"Jace…hi… I…haven't heard you… What...what was or wasn't Magnus bullshitting about?"

"That…", Jace pointed directly to the violet bruise.

"Oh….that…" he shrugged and they both beamed.

"You… Why are you here… weren't you supposed to be in New York with Izzy and Simon?"

Alec didn’t know he had reopened a rift inside Jace.

The light faded from Jace’s eyes until they were dark and empty.

Then they filled with tears.

He didn’t mean to cry but he just couldn't.

Alec dropped the towel, gave a quick look to Magnus who snapped his fingers, and dressed him.

“Jace… hey… I’m right here? What’s this all about?”, he tentatively put a hand on Jace's shoulder.

He knew him very well. Jace wasn’t much into a physical exchange of emotions.

Especially when he was hurting.

Not even Alec had been.

Shadowhunters were taught and trained to grieve alone, without any comfort and to restrain themselves in joy and affection.

Emotions weren’t a Shadowhunters’ thing at all, in the odd conviction that the Angels didn’t have emotions and didn’t wish for their children to feel them that much.

Emotions were…  _ the demon inside _ …  _ the inner darkness to deny… your own shadow to hide. _

Alec had learned from Magnus,… to receive and to show,… to let them flow and accept them,… to let them guide his heart and his choices,…to believe them, to be carried away by them.

He had let emotions  _ cloud  _ his judgment because he had learned it was a good thing.

Magnus had taught him how to open his mind, his soul, and his heart.

And Magnus had given him time…all the time he had needed… moving cautiously toward him.

Slowly Alec was getting closer, just to field test.

Jace wasn’t withdrawing, but staying still, as if he had been frozen.

Alec slipped his arm behind one of Jace’s shoulders and pushed him to his chest.

It was so strong and reassuring that Jace could only surrender to it.

He abandoned himself on Alec and started sobbing.

_ Thank you Alec… I would have never been able to ask you to do this… thank you for doing it anyway…like you had always done for me when I was a scared and lonely child…. _

__

How long it had been?

The feeling of Alec’s arms around him brought him back at those early nights at the Lightwood’s. When nightmares were hunting him, ghosts and shadows, and screams were rising from his dreams, in the darkness of his room.

And Alec had always been beside him, hugging him, in silence. Always.

Never asking what those nightmares were about.

Never questioning.

Never judging.

Just holding.

Holding him until they were gone.

Holding him until the sunlight was up again.

Alec had never fallen asleep.

He just remained there.

Like a guardian angel, the living image of a real Warden.

How could a child have had such a deep understanding, still seemed incredible.

Magnus was thinking that Alec had always been able to understand where his place was.

What was needed from him.

He had always been capable to read between the lines, to make the right move.

Magnus was looking at Jace, he seemed so fragile and small inside Alec’s strong arms.

He was curled with his head buried in the center of his brother’s chest as if he was trying to hide from the rest of the world.

Magnus was feeling so sorry for Jace and for what life was putting him through.

_ Well, it hadn't been life’s fault… _

_ … Angels… _

_ …they are called Angels and we are called demons… _

_ …what does this cruelty has to do with angelic power and mercy… _

_ Alec is right… a wrong thing remains wrong… it doesn’t matter where it comes from… _

_ …it doesn’t mean anything if it comes disguised with white wings, instead of black or red ones…  _

Jace felt overwhelmed.

But he also felt ready. Finally.

Ready to share all this with Alec.

Ready to let him in, ready to let him be by his side.

While he was shuddering in that tight embrace, he re-opened the bond, and all his pain instantly flooded into Alec.

Jace had thought Alec would have trembled under such intensity.

But he was wrong.

Alec engulfed all his pain without even flinching.

Like a sure, unassailable shelter form the storm.

Not uncertain, not retreating.

And it felt like coming home.

His arms were like a retaining wall for Jace’s emotions.

“I’m sorry Alec …I had thought I could handle this alone… But I need you now…I need you more than ever…I’m sorry I shut you out…”

“Jace… I understand… I did the same…so… now that you’re ready… I’m here for you… Whatever it is… I’m here for you …”

Alec wasn’t doing anything more than holding him tight.

When the sobs started to lessen, Jace mouthed on Alec’s shoulder, his voice throaty and thick.

“Simon told me I have to let her be Alec.”

Alec felt a stab on his parabatai rune.

He feared this day had to come sooner or later.

They had talked about this with Magnus so many times…. Magnus was quite sure the Angels weren’t so merciful as humans depicted them and believed.

He knew what he had to do.

“Jace…”

“Alec, I know he’s right. I know he is… and… I want to do that. Even if I won’t be able to love anymore, anyone. I must say goodbye to Clary. I have to.”

He raised his head from Alec’s chest, drying his tears with the back of his hand.

“I wanted to ask you,… both of you… if you could… come with me… tonight… to bid her farewell…forever…I don’t think I can do this alone…”

He was staring sightlessly at the floor, his chest was heaving, and he was sweat as if he’d been training.

“You’re sure about this?”

“Yes Alec, yes. I’m sure.”

“Of course then. I will be with you. We will come.”

“She put on an art exhibition… I just want to go there, see her for the last time… Wish her the best…”

Magnus had tears in his eyes.

He knew that pain. So well.

How many times in his long life had he had to say  _ that _ goodbye? He couldn’t count.

Nevertheless, he’d never got used to that. It had never hurt less.

Jace just let himself fall on the couch and closed his eyes.

He felt as if a big weight had been lifted from his heart.

Was it because he was finally sharing it?

Alec's comforting presence was flooding into the bond, grounding him, and giving him strength.

With Alec he could do that.

It will hurt like hell.

The last good-bye.

But he had Alec.

Whatever he would have become after the ritual.

And he had Magnus.

And Izzy.

And Simon.

He could hear Alec moving toward Magnus and whispering something in his hear… He couldn’t tell…

“Is this ok for you?” Alec mumbled. He was serious and Magnus knew why.

“Of course it is. You don’t even need to ask me this… ”

Alec leaned to give him a long, full-body embrace, pressing Magnus’ body against his, as to  _ feel _ that he was real, that he was with him.

_ Is it selfish to be glad that you’re here with me?  _

_ I already had to give you two last goodbyes. _

_ One when I was forced to leave you. That had been the worst. _

_ Then in Alicante…  _

_ Is it selfish to be thankful? _

__

_ \-------------------- x----------------------- _

The portal opened right in front of a small art gallery.

The front walls were made of glass and the interior seemed crowded.

Jace stopped. 

“Alec… are you fine?’”

“Yeah… I took the potion just before entering the portal… I’m fine.”

_ Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Shit! I didn’t mute my phone. _

Luckily the street was empty, otherwise, it would have been strange hearing a ringtone coming out of the air.

“Jace?” Izzy seemed worried. “Why did you run out of the Institute before? Simon wouldn’t tell me… “

“Ehm… I’m fine Izzy…just needed to clear my mind…I’m with Alec by the way…”

“Oh … Shouldn’t he be with Magnus? Celebrating?”

Jace shut the call and dropped the phone in his pocket.

_ How could I have forgotten?!?!?!  _

_ I’m such a selfish idiot. _

_ And Alec… he’s such a selfless jerk. _

_ What a pair we make! _

__

“Why didn’t you tell Izzy you were with me? She must have been worried…”

Jace double backed.

He should have been angry at his brother for lying to him, well not truly lying, but omitting.

Instead he felt warm inside, realizing he was so cared for.

“Why didn’t  **_ you _ ** tell me? Both of you”

Alec bugged out.

“Tell you what?”

“That today it’s your first anniversary. Izzy just mentioned she thought you should have been with Magnus…celebrating….”

Jace felt guilty.

“Sorry for forgetting….”

“Jace…. Alec and I have been celebrating for this whole wonderful year we’ve been gifted with… We hadn’t been waiting this night to… And more also…one or two hours or days delaying what we had planned to do … won’t do any harm… we both chose to be here with you Jace… willingly…Did you really think Alec would have let you alone in this? Did you really think we wouldn’t have wanted to be here to see her one more time? Clary has been almost a daughter to me…”

Magnus words had been gently spoken.

Alec knew Magnus was hurting too and he was staring at him, his gaze was intense, unblinking, and unsettlingly calm.

A silvery voice resonated from inside.

Jace reversed one more time. His heart clenched.

That laughter that had made him fall in love… was for someone else now.

He had to do that, now.

As he started walking, Alec grabbed him by his shoulder. He didn’t spin to look at him.

“We’ll be right here, outside”

And he meant it.

Jace knew that he meant it.

He resumed walking.

While he was approaching to the glass door, all the memories he had built with Clary were playing again in his mind screen.

The very first night she had seen him at the Pandemonium.

Their first kiss.

Clary choosing him as her only wish to come true.

Finding her alive.

Bringing her back from Jonathan.

They had loved each other with all their hearts. 

He had been blessed to have Clary’s love only for him.

She had cured him. She had carved out the best from him. She had made him a new man.

He could try to live with all of this.

Knowing he had it all, while they were together.

The next moment he was leaning on a pillar inside the art gallery, watching Clary talking about her paintings.

They were full of colored points and strings. Full of emotions.

_ You don’t know it, my love, but you have painted the Shadow World. _

_ I, we will live forever with you, inside those paintings. _

Suddenly he felt Clary’s gaze on him.

He turned his head, to check if she was pointing at someone else behind his back.

_ Shit! Oh my God….Not now…Can she…Does she… _

She was approaching him.

He was going to panic. This. He wasn’t prepared for this.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to spook you.”

_ She does. See me. _

__

“You can see me.”

“Yeah. Of course I can see you.”

_ Oh God…. I’m gonna die right now. I have to run away. _

The pain was welling up.

He needed to go. He needed to go.

_ Damn Jace. You’ve been waiting for this for a whole year.  _

_ And what now? You’re running away from her?  _

He exited from the back door, he knew Alec and Magnus were waiting for him on the front side.

He couldn’t face them right now.

He heard steps running after him.

Then her voice. The voice that had filled his dreams and nightmares.

“Hey. Hey, I’m talking to you.”

He closed his eyes and stopped.

His heart rate was uncontrollably fast. He wanted to stay. But he needed to run away.

Alec felt the uneasiness flowing into him

“Something just happened in there, Magnus. Jace is… he’s feeling upset and shaken.”

Then he heard a voice.

A so familiar voice, calling someone, urging him to stop and talk to her.

Alec felt a twitch in his stomach.

“Magnus? Was that… It certainly is Clary’s voice…. It’s coming from that backward alley. Did you hear that too?”

Alec turned to find Magnus' mouth gaping.

_ So you heard her too. You recognized her too. _

__

Alec’ s heart started racing,

_ Yes! Yes!.... She saw him… Thank whatever entity above or below… She saw him… _

__

“Come on High Warlock of my heart. You’re needed there. Pull yourself together. You wouldn’t want to scare that little biscuit as you almost did the first time I met you….”

He grabbed Magnus’ hand and approached silently to the alley, hiding behind the first wall.

He could feel the whirlwind of emotions inside Jace’s heart.

Joy. Fear. Doubt. Insecurity. Courage.

The aching, maddening need to stay. The urge to flee. The fear of losing her again.

Jace turned again to face Clary.

He thought he was about to die.

Did his heart had ever beaten so fast? He swore she could hear it.

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

_ “Is he nuts?” Magnus shouted whispering.  _

_ “If he lets her go away this time I swear I’m gonna kill him with my bare hands” _

“No, I do. I definitely do. I…You’re Jace right?”

And Jace felt himself melting.

His eyes widened, his expression softened in a shy smile.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m Jace.”

_ Oh, Jace… I’m so, so happy for you. _

_ You deserve this. To be happy. _

Clary reached out with her hand, staring at the rune on Jace’s neck.

He suddenly felt uncomfortable.

“What are these tattoos on your neck?”

He diverted his eyes.

She approached a little more, her silky fingertips brushing gently the rune, sending shivers down Jace’s spine, and making all his nerves endings catching fire, and his heart stammering.

_ How much I missed this. I know you can feel it Clary. I know you can feel it beating. It has been beating only for you. Only for you. _

__

He looked at her.

They stood in silence.

Not really understanding what was happening.

But Clary wasn’t moving.

Alec pushed Magnus forward mumbling messily, “Go ahead. Show yourself. Do something, or that idiot is gonna make her slip away.”

“Hi, biscuit.”, Magnus had a sing-song voice, as he was walking swiftly toward them, “you probably don’t remember me…”

“M…Magnus…you’re Magnus….”

Magnus' eyes instantly filled with tears.

He couldn’t hold back. He threw himself toward Clary and embraced her.

“We all missed you so much, biscuit.”

“Were you the one calling me by that name? In my dreams I heard a voice, sweet and kind… calling me biscuit…I… it’s like the hole inside of me is starting to be filled….”

Tears were streaming on Jace’s face.

Then Alec came closer and Clary didn’t miss him approaching.

“You… you’re Jace’s brother….”

“Alec… yeah…I’m Alec…”

Clary was watching Jace intensely.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you. I don’t remember when, or why. But I can feel that I did.”

Jace shook his head, uncaring of the tears that were now falling copiously.

“You saved me Clary. You made my life worth living. That’s what you had done. You saved all of us. And if…if … if you want to know what your life had been like… We…Magnus can help you.”

Clary smiled at him.

“I do. I want to. I feel like I’ve been living someone else’s life….These colors and images dwelling in me… I could tell they were from somewhere, but couldn’t figure out …In this last year my nights have been filled with strange dreams and nightmares...”

“Do you need to go in there again?”

“No… I… don’t want to…I don’t want to go in there. I want to stay here, with you.”

She grabbed Jace’s hand and squeezed it.

“What about your paintings?”

“Oh, I’ll take care of them later…. Now… we need to take her to our loft… “, Magnus said grabbing Alec’s hand.

“Is it possible that I… that I was at  _ your _ wedding?”, Clary pointed to Alec and Magnus, with questioning eyes.

“It’s not only possible… that…that picture over there …”, Alec was pointing to an enormous painting just in the middle of the room, “those things you have drawn there, … those are our wedding decorations…”, he smiled tenderly.

He knew Jace would have hated him for doing this.

But he did, nevertheless.

He needed to push things a little bit further.

Now that she had been recognizing them, he had to, cause he knew Jace couldn’t.

He was too scared.

“Clary, I’m so glad you were able to see Jace again tonight. He had come here to say goodbye to you. Forever. But he wasn’t living anymore… without you… “

He felt a spasm in his parabatai’s rune.

Clary spun to face Jace.

“Were we?… Were you?... Are we…?”

Magnus intervened. He could feel Jace was overwhelmed.

“Biscuit… there are so many things you have to figure out and catch up with…are you sure you really want to know who we are? It’s gonna be painful darling. Knowledge can be painful. Remembering can be even harder. You won’t like all the things that you are going to see. So, are you really sure?”

She nodded.

He waved his hands in front of her, letting his blue magic pouring out.

Clary should have freaked out. But none of this happened. As if she had recognized it, … deep inside.

Magnus didn’t need any more proofs.

Another wave of blue ropes entered her temple and her expression changed from curiousness, to awe, and realization.

She looked at Jace, her eyes open wide in surprise and recognition.

“It’s you.”

“Yeah. It’s me Clary. It’s me. It had always been me. It will always be me.”

“Let’s go now. You could be throwing up in a while biscuit… since you’re not used to portals anymore… “

“I’ve sent fire messages to Izzy and Simon…Lorenzo has portalled them to our home. And Luke of course… is waiting in Alicante.”

“Simon?... That Simon?” Cleary was astonished.

“Yeah… I think it’s the same Simon you’re talking about. He will die to hug you again.”

“Wait…” Jace stopped them from entering the portal.

Magnus and Alec looked puzzled.

“You two have done enough for tonight… it’s your anniversary and… we will take care of her.”

“Jace… you have to understand… memories will start rushing into her… it could be …”

“No, you have to understand Magnus. I’ll take care of her. We all will. You know that. Simon and Luke will be there too and if… if anything happens that we can’t deal ourselves, you know…Now go Magnus, please. Go”

Alec grabbed Magnus’s hand.

\------------------ x -------------------

“Is the potion still working?”

“Yeah, anyway I’m, I’m feeling much better since yesterday…when you use your magic, the pain is just on the background.”

“Good…Now close your eyes darling….”Magnus whispered in Alec’s year.

Alec suddenly felt unbalanced and tried to counteract opening his legs.

Did his move had just made the floor … _ swing? _

It was pitch black, he couldn’t see anything.

He heard a sound that seemed water.

_ Rolling Waves _ ?

“Don’t move too quickly, clumsy, tall Shadowhunter. Sit down slowly. We’re on a boat. A small one.”

“Why is it so dark?”

“We’re on a river… entering a cave…”

“A cave?”

After a slow turn of the boat Alec saw a million luminescent blue lights hanging from the ceiling.

They were magical.

Alec was out of words.

“Are you doing this?”

"No Alexander. We're inside the  _ Waitomo Glowworm Caves  _ in New Zealand. Do you like it? _ " _

“It’s… it’s incredibly beautiful Magnus.”

“I was thinking about a special place for us…then I saw a picture of these caves in a magazine when I went to Cat’s hospital a month ago… And… I had no doubt…”

“So… you haven’t been here before? It’s… is it your first time here?”

Alec was excited like a child opening a new gift.

There weren’t many firsts left for a man as old as Magnus was.

More also, he could have reached every remote angle of the planet with a wave of his hands.

Alec was just used to that.

It felt so incredible that they were there, together, for the first time.

“I’ve never been married before… ergo I wanted a place where I hadn’t been before. It’s amazing…. Isn’t it?”

Alec inclined a bit to reach Magnus' lips and kissed him, soft and moist and hot and breathy, seeking union and closeness and the sharing of one breath. 

After their tongues had parted, the kiss turned soft, with their lips brushing, softly, delicately, like butterfly wings.

“I love you Magnus. So, so much.”

“As I do love you.”

Magnus handed him a small rectangular box.

It was a thin one, all covered in blue velvet, a blue silky ribbon wrapping it up

Alec shoved his hand into his pocket and handed Magnus an envelope.

The paper looked crumpled up as if a hand had been closing in a fist around it.

“You go first” Magnus pushed the box in Alec’s hands.

Magnus was feeling so emotional.

Alec’s fingers were trembling as they entwined with the ribbon to unfold it.

He lifted the lid.

His breath got caught in his throat.

“How… how is this possible? No one was taking photographs…”

Inside the box there was a collage of four squared pictures of their first kiss ever… the one Alec had given Magnus when he had blown up his wedding with Lydia.

“I extracted this from my own memories of that moment… pick it up.”

As Alec closed his fingers around the borders he felt an upsurge of inexpressible emotions, so profound, so strong…so uncontrollable…hope, love, lust, fear, courage…pride.

Alec’s hands were shaking now, as was his voice.

“Are these…”

“Yes, they are. I extracted also the emotions bound to the memories. Mine of course. And the ones that you were pouring into me at that moment, with your kiss.”

"God… I felt so scared Magnus… but I wanted you. So much. I wanted to try you. To follow you. I wanted you only for me. It had been like a siren call."

"Alexander… “, Magnus took his hands, “… immortality is …can be tricky… and awkward… when you get to have forever, what you have desired the most… there could come days or times when you can’t remember why you had fought so hard to have it…I know you love me with all your heart… but if there ever comes a time when eternity becomes unbearable to you… I want you to pick up this picture and remember what had made you turn your back to the altar and walk the alley backward… to kiss me…to fight for me…”

_ …they say love is a journey,  _

_ I promise that I’ll never leave _

_ and when it’s too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me… _

They kissed again.

Magnus took out a piece of wrinkled paper from the envelope, he opened it,…there,… he recognized it immediately… it was Alec’s writing.

“Did you write me a letter?”

Alec nodded.

“Then why is it so mashed… You… weren’t you sure of giving me this?

"I wrote it in Alicante. After I was forced to leave you…”

“Oh…”

“I…that night after I had written it, I was about to throw it away, but I didn't want anyone to find it and read it, so I smashed it in my pocket. Then you came,… then you left. When I was back in your loft I just threw it in a drawer of my desk. When I was thinking of a gift for you, for this our first year, I thought this could have been… .I… I want you to have it… So you know…I’m not good with words Magnus, you know that. But that night… they just came flowing …I… Whatever happens now…The love you find in there…will never leave you… ever…”

Magnus started reading silently.

Alec had maneuvered him until he was sitting on his lap. His arms were around Magnus’ shoulders and waist.

_ “Dear Magnus… I never thought I would be writing you this letter.  _

_ There had been a time when I thought our love would stand the test of time and nothing could come between us… _

__

_ Unfortunately, life has made its choices for us. _

_ It frustrates me that maybe this will be the only way to convey my thoughts to you, not knowing if you will ever see this, but I had to give it one last shot. _

_ If you are reading this, maybe I have the slightest bit of lingering hope that something has brought you to this site, searching for me.  _

_ Cause I hope Magnus…that after a while… you will ask yourself how could I have failed you so badly when I was the one who had told you I’d love you forever.  _

_ And I hope that you will go around searching for answers… the ones that I couldn’t give you the other night.  _

_ If I came to know you a bit during this time we spent together, you will be probably thinking that I left you because I despised you for your weakness…for the pain the loss of your magic caused you.  _

_ Well… I don’t… I admire you… you went through all this hell to help me and you were able to stand upright…you were able to love me still… even after I had been the reason for your loss. _

_ I love you Magnus and you don’t know how much and how strongly I prayed that my love could have been enough for you… that it could have mended your wounds, that it could have become your new reason for living…but it hadn’t… _

_ I made a deal with Asmodeus, to give you your magic back….but the price he asked me for his help was… was our love… He asked me to break your heart, so he could replace me inside of it…to break your heart, to save your life. _

_ Why did I accept that? _

_ Because all I ever wanted for you is to be happy…  _

_ I’m not the first one you’ve loved and I would have never been the last…  _

_ …your magic instead is part of who you are…  _

_ Even if you are mourning my loss, I hope the happiness of having your magic back will make you rise again.  _

_ Forgive me if you can… it was all made out of love… _

_ I’m thinking back at the way I felt that moment I first kissed you. _

_ I remember thinking life could not possibly have become any better for me, than it was at that very moment. _

_ You’ve changed my life, Magnus, forever. _

_ You’ve found me. _

_ You broke through my loneliness and rage, and showed me I was keeping myself a prisoner inside my own mind, it was all inside of me, …it was just me, a frightened boy, who was waiting for someone to look at him the way that you did. _

_ I’m going to die Magnus.  _

_ Probably tonight. _

_ You know very well I will search for a shot that will kill me, which will relieve me from this unbearable pain. _

_ Because that’s how I am. _

_ I don’t know any other way to cope with sorrow than hurt myself. _

_ I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t call you mine. _

_ Where you don’t love me anymore. _

_ Where you believe I was ashamed of you and gave up on you.  _

_ But I’m not afraid to die. _

_ Before I met you, I never cared much for my own life. _

_ Your love, made me desire eternity Magnus. _

_ It had made me think of forever. _

_ Now that I can’t have you… I can die. _

_ And when that final moment will come for me, I will die with your name on my lips, with your kindness in my heart, with the love you shared with me in my soul. _

_ And I will die thinking of all the wonderful memories we had made together… our first time, your glowing eyes, your whispers in my ears, the very first time you wrapped your arms around me and rested your head on my shoulder, your smile, your way of looking at me. _

_ I love you. And I will love you forever. Dead or alive. _

_ Promise me you will love yourself… as much as I do love you. _

_ And promise me you will let yourself be loved again… really loved. _

__

_ So, I guess this is my last goodbye.  _

_ I will never forget the way you made my heart feel for the short time you loved me.  _

_ I lived while you loved me, I lived because you loved me. _

__

_ I have to let you go now.  _

_ These were the hardest words to write.  _

_ Goodbye, beautiful soul.  _

_ Don’t forget about me.  _

_ If the Angels decide to take me from this world tonight, as I hope, please know in your heart that you were loved with everything in my being. _

__

_ I wish you all the happiness life can offer. _

_ I love with all my heart. _

__

_ Forever yours. _

_ Alexander.” _

__

They had shared this hallowed moment in silence, both reading he letter, tightly close to each other, as their emotions filled the air around them.

“It’s stained…were you crying while you wrote this?” Magnus spoke tremulously.

“Yeah… I was…”

“Don't you dare to leave me again… Alexander…“, Magnus was silently crying, while he started unbuttoning Alec’s shirt, kissing him, then lowering his lips on his adam apple and his chest.

They both wanted to say something, but words seemed so inappropriate… They couldn't cover all the range of emotions that they were feeling.

So they let their bodies speak all the unsaid.

This was a language they deeply shared.

A language that had as many little shadings as their sentiments.

"Ready to build memories of your first time on the water?” Magnus teased.

“We’re gonna flip and end up in the river…” Alec was breathing hard, his eyes closed, his hands wandering on Magnus’ back…

“You think so less of me my love… I’ve enchanted the boat… and the water…”

“Oh…but this space is constricted…”

“Even better… “

They made love on the boat.

The cave filled with gasps and moans.

Magnus blue magic strings gently lulling them.

As they were still lying naked, shaking in the aftermaths of sharing such intense emotions and sensations, Magnus mumbled in Alec’s chest “Wherever the ritual will bring your body and soul… promise me you will fight to come back, promise me…Don’t let me go…”

Alec closed his arms tightly around him.

“Of course I will. I won’t ever, ever let you go.”

\-------------------- x -------------------

The weekend had passed with Magnus working to quicken the recollection process for Clary.

It had been awesome to see how she and Jace had immediately returned to be what they were before she had lost her memories.

As if Jace had been buried inside of her.

As if her heart had been his vampire’s grave. Jace struggling to tear the dirt out and rise again.

Alive again.

Alec had never thought he could have seen Izzy so emotionally messed up.

She was always there, in the loft, trying to make Clary feel at home and hoping that Clary could feel again… they had promised to become parabatai.

Fortunately, it seemed like Clary had been missing a sister for all that time… And she was really happy around Izzy.

Things hadn't been easy for Clary.

Her mum's death, Valentine, Jace’s death, her wish, Lilith and Jonathan… these were memories that needed some processing… A physical and emotional one.

And Izzy was there for her.

Of course Jace was there too.

But there were feelings and emotions that the two women shared and understood without saying a word.

On the morning of the public proclamation, Alec had been rehearsing out loud every single article.

He was pacing the living room frantically.

And he was overthinking. As he always did.

_ Did we get the point here? Could we have explained it better? Should we have added something else? _

__

“Alexander. Stop. Stop all of this. It is the best Law the Shadow World has had in ages. Few more hours and it will all be over.”

Alec exhaled.

“I know, I’m being terrible” he smiled.

“You are. But I love you. Come on now. Shower with me and then we’ll get this show on the road.”

“You know how I get… after … after that.”

“Oh… it will be even better for you… like swallowing  _ a shot _ before an exam… it will make you feel… lighter…”

As he finished his sentence Alec was already naked waiting for him on the bathroom’s threshold.

\-------------x -----------------------

Angel’s Square was so crowded there wasn’t room for an apple to fall.

Jia and the members of the Downworlders-Shadowhunters Cabinet were all on a stage.

Alec thought they were truly a vision.

Each of them dressed properly in their traditional and official garments, to honor this moment.

Different colors, different histories.

This was exactly how Alec had dreamt about them: united and close, without losing their particularities and uniqueness.

Alec was holding a big unfolded parchment.

The moment he had craved for was finally there.

Jia started the ceremony.

“Shadowhunters and Downworlders together have worked for almost a year to write these new Laws. Today it’s the day they are coming into force. For all the Shadow-World. May we all respect them and live according to them.”

Brother Zachariah approached the parchment with the Soul Sword in his hand.

There was an unreal silence for a square so full of people.

As the Sword touched the subtle paper, this ignited immediately.

For a moment it seemed like it was being consumed by the fire of the Sword.

Then only a golden smoke was rising from it.

Brother Zachariah’s voice resounded in the square.

He looked at Alec with gentle eyes.

Alec knew he loved Magnus, and he loved Tessa.

This was a day of victory also for that Silent Brother who had once been a man, Will’s Herondale parabatai.

“You can read the articles now.”

Alec’s heart was beating fast.

He had thought about everything.

The change had to be seen.

Not only declared.

All the Cabinet's members reached him at the center of the stage.

Each one of them would have read an article.

Equals.

United.

He would have read the preface.

Before he started, he gave Magnus an intense and deep glance.

Magnus just blinked once and smiled.

He was his courage.

"We rule with our hearts, then with our heads.

Strength lies in differences, not in similarities.

These Laws were written to give equal power and consideration to our differences."

Then was Magnus turn.

"Downworlders and Shadowhunters are equals.

Their opinions, their commitments, their ideas, their ways of living, will be taken into the same account.

The Nephilims will share with them powers and abilities.

Both parts will respect each other, protect each other, and fight together against all enemies.

Their votes will have the same weight.”

A hissing, sibilant sound pierced the air.

Alec recognized it immediately.

He scanned the horizon searching for the source of the shot, throwing himself immediately in front of Magnus, to shield him with his body, his arms spreading out wide to cover the most parts he could.

Meanwhile Magnus had started to raise a protective shield above the square.

Then a loud thud.

Jia was lying on the floor with the arrow in her head.

While the shield was slowly closing above their heads, other arrows were thrown, crashing on the shield.

There had been a loud cry from the crowd that was starting to panic.

Alec raised his eyes. The shield was almost covering all of them. So he shouted.

“Stay still. All of you in the square. Don’t move. I suggest every warlock to add his own magic to help Magnus strengthen the protection”.

The magic he was casting was huge, he couldn’t last long alone.

Catarina, Tessa, and Lorenzo were the first to raise their hands.

The shield now was a big invisible dome above them.

Alec was thinking about Ailine. He was searching for her in the crowd. Hoping that Helen was with her.

Ailine and Jia had had their bad moments. Ailine homosexuality hadn't been easy to accept for Jia. But they had been reconciling.

And a mother was always a mother. He knew that.

When the firing had stopped, they heard a terrible foghorn voice.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood...”

Alec stiffened hearing his name called out loud, and Magnus' arms shook for a second.

“You have disparaged and befouled the Angels, their will, their millennial laws, and traditions. You have surrounded yourself with Downworlders, changing the laws only for your personal benefit. You have married a warlock, the filthiest of them, as he is the son of a Prince of Hell”

Alec knew what those words meant for Magnus.

And he feared they had breached him.

He turned to look at him.

He wouldn't have let no one, no one do this to Magnus.

He turned to search for Magnus' eyes.

He spoke never diverting his gaze.

"It's not our blood that defines us, but the choices we make. Magnus Bane has the most angelic soul I've ever seen. None of you will ever be fit to lace his boots. And for the choices he had made, I respect him and love him with all my being."

Magnus' heart filled with pride and joy.

He needed his arms in their place to keep the shield working, but if he only could, he would have enclosed Alec in those arms.

The voice resumed.

"You will die Lightwood, as the Consul did today. And so will do all the Nephilims and Downworlders that endorse you and work with and for you. The fight has just begun. We will chase you and find you. We will kill you. And then, we will kill them all."

Magnus was shivering inside.

He feared for Alec's life.

He wished he could have hidden Alec from the rest of the world.

Portal him in another dimension.

Then the voice was gone.

After a while, the warlocks slowly lessened their grip on the shield, to see if it could be turned down.

They retreated their powers one-by-one until there was only Magnus left.

Magnus searched for Alec's eyes.

He nodded.

Magnus closed his hands in a fist and the blue shield was gone.

Everybody was waiting... to see if anything would have happened.

Then, there followed minutes of dead, stony silence.

Alec was slightly trembling.

He knew Magnus was worried about him. As he was worried about Magnus. He wished they could just have a moment to stay together in each other's arms. But right now there were duties to be fulfilled. They would have dealt with all this sometime later. Together and alone in their home.

Suddenly Brother Zachariah was speaking.

Really speaking.

Like he had spoken to Magnus on that night.

"The Consul Jia Penhallow is dead. The Shadow World needs a new Consul, especially now that these new Laws are about to be applied. Normally, the previous Consul should have addressed his successor. I know that Consul Penhallow would have submitted the name of Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Since the new Laws have established that the Consul has now to be voted from all the Cabinet members, I suggest them to vote. Now. There is no time to be wasted”

Alec's thoughts were running wild inside his head, as his emotions were in his heart.

Maybe… He had thought about becoming Consul one day, but not so early, not so young, not in this way, not now.

Fire messages floating.

Brother Zachariah read them aloud.

Alec had been chosen.

In this sad and solemn moment, Alec found himself smiling inside at the idea of having been voted by his husband too.

It was a strange sensation. Being so entwined. Mentally, physically, emotionally, politically.

When Brother Zachariah raised his head, he took the Soul Sword and gestured Alec to drop on his knees.

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood. Put your hands on the Soul Sword and pronounce your swearing as the new Consul.”

_ Oh God thanks that you’re here with me Magnus. _

Magnus was staring at his husband, bent down in a submissive stance, and in that gesture he could see all Alec’s power, the power of giving up himself for what he believed in, for what he had loved most, for what he had thought was right.


	8. ln every lifetime, in every universe I'd choose you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and Magnus meet the warlock that will help them through the ritual... but... there' s something Alec needs to fix first....

As soon as he had stood up, Alec had run away.

Without even turning back. Without even waiting for Magnus. He had taken advantage of the chaos around him and he had disappeared into the crowd surrounding them.

He needed to walk. He needed to be physically engaged in something.

Magnus had directly portalled everyone at the loft. He was waiting for Alec to come back.

He was worried, so worried. He needed to talk to him. He needed to know why Alec had run away so fast.

He was sure he had wanted to escape from all the others, but he just couldn’t tell Alec’s siblings to go away and leave them alone.

The moment Alec had slammed the door open, he had literally stormed inside the loft. He looked furious.

Something Magnus wasn’t really expecting.

Jace could feel it too. A blind rage. He was sure that Alec was about to punch something hard and that he needed to be left alone, with Magnus. Just a few years earlier he would have rushed up to the Institute's roof, to shoot one arrow after another, until his hands were bleeding. Now he had Magnus and Jace was glad about it.

In the exact moment Alec had walked in, Jace and Magnus had exchanged an understanding look. Jace silently pointed the door to everyone. Magnus and Alec needed time for themselves. And Alec needed some space to express his feelings. He wouldn’t have been comfortable enough to do that in front of all of them.

Magnus was almost on the edge himself.

Alec’s life had been threatened and even if Alec was under his protection, under the protection of the whole Downworld… he knew they just couldn’t control everything. But he tried to push his thoughts and worries aside. It was clear that Alec needed his attention right now. He was clearly struggling inside himself.

Though fear didn’t seem the prevailing emotion.

As soon as the others were out, Alec had rushed to the kitchen and had punched the table at full force. Once, twice. Magnus could see his biceps contracting then releasing. His knuckles were purple after the second blow. Then a third one. Thin red blood rivulets appeared on the back of his hand. Magnus could tell that he wasn’t done yet.

As Alec lifted his arm again, a blue string restrained his movements.

“I thought we had agreed a long time ago that you’re not allowed to hurt yourself Alexander. Talk to me.”

Alec was fighting Magnus magic, trying to shove his fist down. His cheeks were red, his breath was short.

“When? Tell me, Magnus. When? When my time will come? When? When things will go my way?” he was shouting, he hadn’t even realized.

“When will I ever be allowed to think of what I want for me? When events will just stop tampering with my plans, with my dreams? When? Why can’t I just be a man, once, only once in my life? We’ve already lost one year to change these damn Laws. I thought I would have had the time to concentrate only on our future. But no…I am the Consul now and… there’s a rebellion to put down… and I won’t be allowed to lay unconscious in a bed…”

The next moment he started crying. There were no sobs, just silent tears.

Magnus was speechless.

_ Oh, Alec, you’re so young. So young. _

_ You’re not scared of dying. _

_ You’re only scared of losing your dream. _

_ And I am damn scared of losing you. _

__

Magnus slowly retreated his magic, while walking toward him. He wrapped his hand around Alec’s forearm, forcing him to turn around. He tugged strongly, once, twice. Alec surrendered to Magnus and revolved. His head was bowed, his arms hanging down.

Magnus was waiting for him to make a move. Alec leaned forward to rest his forehead on Magnus' shoulder, his arms rising to embrace his husband.

“I’m sorry Magnus. I’m sorry if I ran away without you. It wasn’t you, I wanted to avoid. I’m sorry if I hurt myself.

I’m sorry for all this…I’m sorry that you have to worry for me now…”

“Hey… Hey… Don’t be…I know you weren’t running away from me. And I’m sorry if I came back with all of them… I just didn’t know how to tell them to go away…Look at me, Alexander, please look at me.” Magnus lifted Alec’s chin with his forefinger, high enough to look him in the eyes. His hand was trembling.

Alec’s eyes were still wet with tears. He couldn’t focus on Magnus’ features in front of him, but he could see that he was terrified. He cupped Magnus cheek with one hand, bending a little to kiss him.

“Magnus… I … I don’t want to leave you. I won’t. I promise. I won’t do stupid things, like the one I just did. I don’t want you to be in pain. I’m sorry that I’ve overreacted like that. I… I should have thought about you first…I know you must have been scared out there… I … I would have been if it had been you… It's just that… I had wished to come home today and focus just on us, getting started for the ritual… talk with that warlock …. I think Tessa was here with him today …. I saw them in the crowd… Sorry, Magnus… I’m so sorry…that things are never going to be the way we had planned them to be…”

"Alexander… it's all right...yes, of course, I was scared, I just wanted to grab you and hide you from the rest of the world, keep you for me, only for me…”

“I’m sorry…I’m not just  _ anyone _ … We are not just… _ anyone _ … And it’s all my fault…”

Magnus was kissing him back.

“Alexander… Stop… stop talking like this… Stop shrinking yourself into places you’ve outgrown. What fault are you talking about? Loving me so much to wish  _ forever _ ?”

“This,…loving you,… is the best thing I’ve ever done…I would die for you Magnus, to protect you…”

“What do you think you were doing out there before? You used your body to shield me… If I hadn’t needed my hands to raise the protection spell, I would have punched you…You scared the shit out of me Alexander…”

“And I will do that again and again and again…”

“You should be worrying about your life… instead of thinking about the ritual and me…”

Magnus was muttering on Alec’s lips.

“You are my life Magnus, there is no life to be lived, to be protected or to be saved if it’s not with you.”

Magnus licked Alec's lower lip pushing it down with his tongue. Then he explored Alec's mouth with circular soft movements, eliciting a soft surrendering moan.

The rage turned suddenly into lust and arousal.

Alec started dragging sloppy open-mouthed kisses on Magnus' jaw…biting a little here and there. He trailed the tip of his tongue all around Magnus’ goatee, circling his mouth and then his upper lip.

Magnus pushed him on the couch. A bit roughly. His muscles were tightening as he caged Alec, shoving him on the armrest. He was straddling him, grinding down on his erection, relentlessly, until Alec was a bubbling mess. He loved it when Magnus made a show of his physical power on him.

An outsider could have easily misjudged Magnus' physical capacities and potential. At first glance, his body might not seem so built up, but he was strong, his grips were powerful and most of all… he was agile _ ,  _ like a feline. And Alec could have never caught up with him when he was playing this game. He could only succumb.

A flick of the wrist and they were both naked. Alec gasped at the sudden sensation of the cool breeze around his heated skin. Magnus was on him, his hips rutting against Alec's, his hands were trailing up and down on Alec’s chest, fingers curling in his chest hair, pulling a little. His thumbs and forefingers were closed around his nipples twitching and slightly scratching.

The blue magic strings were restraining Alec's movements. His arms couldn't reach out to touch Magnus caramel smooth skin and he was growling in frustration.

"Mmm… Magnus… c'mon… Let me loose. Please."

"Pretty boy, give your husband a good reason to. But, I bet you can't find one good enough to convince him", he grinned.

Magnus was just everywhere…. His thighs were constricting Alec's hips, his arms were knocking him down, his hands were on his nipples and his magic was… Anywhere else.

Magnus rubbed himself on Alec’s length, just to emphasize his point.

Alec shuddered.

"I…. I…. You… You…inside…", his voice was so hoarse that he seemed possessed. Magnus slowed down and gave him a supervisory look. Alec’s eyes were pitch black… His pupils had engulfed all his hazel iris.

Now was Magnus turn to shudder. Alec’s blind desire made his blue strings lessen their grip on his arms.

That was it. Alec rose from the armrest, using his now free arms as leverage.

He seemed a tiger suddenly released from being caged… Magnus could swear he had seen flames in his eyes.

Alec looked feral, but his movements were unhurried, while he was trying to take deeper and longer breaths.

Magnus was waiting and trembling at the same time.

Alec's arms lifted him gently from his hips… keeping him up while he spread his legs even wider to make space for Magnus. Then he reverently landed him on the couch.

With his hands, he bent Magnus' legs inwards, while sensually stroking his thighs, until Magnus found himself sitting crossed-legs in the middle of his big comfortable couch.

Alec leaned just to give him a soft kiss, then his knees raised behind Magnus back. Using his feet firmly planted on the couch’s fabric, he started dragging his body forward.

When he was at breath distance from Magnus, he crawled into Magnus’ lap.

Magnus was watching the whole scene as in slow motion, frozen still as if he had been enchanted.

When their chests collided, Alec closed his legs behind Magnus' waist and his arms behind his neck.

"I wanted you close…closer to me… As closest I could I… I... Love you", his voice barely a whisper, his breath ragged.

A full mouth kiss awakened Magnus from his trance.

His arms encircled Alec's waist, sticking him against his chest.

They stayed still for what seemed like hours…. Just breathing each other's breath.

As Alec bounced on him the first time, they entangled in their own spiraling, like two bald eagles in their courting flight…. Soaring up to the highest altitudes, locked together, to tumble and cartwheel toward pure bliss.

It had been a lovemaking full of longing and clinging, full of the black fear of losing each other once again.

When their breaths evened, Alec was still softly lapping Magnus collarbone, right where he had bitten him, dizziness spreading into his system.

Magnus was the first to break that hollowed silence.

“Alexander, why don’t we take one step at a time? Let’s talk to the warlock monk… Let’s see what he has to tell us. Then we can decide how to move on. Could this be ok for you?”

“Yeah… sure. It will help me. It will remind me that I still have a  _ together forever _ to fight for.”

\---------------x---------------

The monk entered the loft walking silently. He was barefoot and still wearing his orange tunic. He was following Tessa and Cat. All the others had been waiting for them.

"Magnus, Alec, this is monk Chen-Hsieh. He'd been living in a Buddhist Temple in Bhutan since his wife had died. He's a very powerful warlock, probably one of the few to have performed the ritual, first on his wife, then on many other mundanes. He had agreed to come here and help you t go through the ritual, but before he needs to explain to you some things.”

Tessa sat down on one of Magnus’ chairs, near the table, Cat remained behind.

Chen-Hsieh silently placed his hands in prayer position in front of his heart and made a small bow to give Magnus and Alec the traditional Buddhist greeting.

As Magnus did the same, Alec soon followed and gestured the monk to seat on the couch. The monk nodded in gratitude but decided to sit on the rug instead. Alec and Magnus did the same.

"Thank you for coming monk Chen-Hsieh " Magnus’ voice was kind and reverent. He knew that it shouldn’t have been easy for Tessa to drive that monk out of his temple after he had decided to live there ever after.

The monk had his eyes closed, he exhaled deeply before replying back.

"Magnus Bane… What a pleasure to meet you. Your reputation precedes you. I had met so many warlocks raised under your protective hand throughout the centuries. You've done an incredible job… "

His voice was low and calm spreading a peaceful aura around the living room.

"I see you have found your true love… a rare thing for a warlock has powerful as you… With your… lineage… The burden on your shoulders had been heavy, I can feel it… big responsibilities come from a great power… I dare to believe that the majority of your partners had wanted to use you, take advantage of you… or that they didn't know who you really were… Sorry if I'm being rude… but I speak from experience. "

Alec gently brushed his hand on Magnus' thigh.

" You're being honest… " Magnus smiled "... Alexander is the first partner I’ve ever told about Asmodeus… "

"... Mmm… it has been the same for me and my wife. She had been the only one to accept me… My powers and my mark…"

Magnus' smile spread even more.

"... She was a mundane… and she was the first one I performed the ritual on… she died during the atomic bombing in Nagasaki … I wasn’t there, I couldn't do anything to save her… but we've lived a long life together… I…I have no regrets… " as he was remembering her, his face had softened, it seemed like he was able to see her, near him.

“I was surprised Tessa managed to find me… I had been very careful not to leave any traces behind. I was very tired of all those demanding requests. I needed time and space to think. To be alone. In the beginning, I wasn’t sure to accept her behest. But she told me your story, about the change you two had already made and are going to pursue even more, so I had decided to come and help you.”

“Thank you again. Alexander and I have been waiting to change the laws to perform this on him.”

“Do you think you are ready for this?” Chen-Hsieh asked in a serious and grave tone.

Alec and Magnus looked at each other, their hands entangled, and nodded.

“I was asking  _ him _ , not both of you” he specified, pointing Alec.

Alec felt suddenly exposed, being the center of all the attention. He knew Izzy, Jace, and Clary were there and that they were all waiting for him to answer, they needed to hear he felt safe in choosing this.

Nonetheless, he decided to be honest.

“I … I don’t know if I am ready for the ritual. The only thing that I’m sure of, is that I love Magnus and that I  _ want  _ to do this. I am willing to do whatever it takes to stay with him” he was blushing; too much private feelings for such a numerous audience.

“You’re a wise man Alexander Lightwood, extremely, I dare to say, considering your age. You’re devoid of arrogance and smugness… even if you have been raised by Shadowhunters… the emblems of such an attitude…Then I think you are ready.”

Alec smiled.

“I have to warn you, it won’t be easy. I’ve never performed this ritual on a Shadowhunter. For what I know, no one has ever done. This is an old demonic ritual.”

Alec heard Izzy inhaling her breath in surprise.

“My father, Aziza, was one of the seven princes of Hell himself” - Magnus tensed as so did Alec – “he was the demon of beauty and gorgeousness. He had invented this ritual because he had wanted his human partners to remain beautiful forever, he didn’t want them o get old and ugly…and he had instructed me how to perform this since I was a child. My father had always used this ritual for his own egoistic purposes. When I was old enough to decide what I wanted to do with my life, I left him and I decided to carry out the ritual alone, to help immortal beings that had fallen in love with mortal partners” he was beaming softly, while he was trying to catch Magnus and Alec’s reactions to his words.

“That’s why I told you ... great power, great responsibilities. I know what that means.”

Magnus was feeling incredibly lucky to had been able to meet such an incredible man: their personal history was somehow similar, as the choices they had made and the eternal love for their lifelong partner.

“The ritual consists of a blood transfusion, you already know that. I can cast a spell that allows me to separate Alec's angel blood from his human blood, thus he can decide which blood has to be replaced with Magnus’ one”

A deep, heavy silence fell inside the room. No one dared to ask or to speak, but the implications of such a choice were faintly taking shape in everybody’s mind.

“Are you saying that I can decide to keep my angel blood or my mundane blood?” Alec always needed to call things by their proper names.

“Exactly. The spell separates the two different types of blood. Thus the blood draw will leave in your system only one of the two and we will replace the missing with Magnus’. Tessa already told me that you’ve been  _ poisoning  _ your blood with some of his blood every day in this last year and that, as a consequence, you already have his magic running inside your system. Is this right?”

“Yes. It is. I can  _ feel  _ him while he’s using his magic. I still feel a bit high and dizzy when… “embarrassment was jamming his tongue, he sighed deeply and bowed his head to stare at the floor and Magnus’ hand “…when I  _ take  _ his blood and lately I had been suffering very bad headaches, but they had disappeared completely in the last days”

“This is just a small indicator, but it’s a good one. It means that your body hadn’t rejected Magnus’ blood, that it recognizes his blood as something  _ domestic _ . Of course, the blood draw from Magnus’ can't be done in just one day. For almost a week, we will need to store his blood, just as they do in mundanes’ hospitals. Catarina will know how to do that. On the day of the ritual, I will start replacing the blood I drew from you with this stock we have been retaining. Then, the last amount of blood will be transfused into your system directly from Magnus“

The details seemed so morbid.

“Magnus you can start tomorrow, so, when Alec will have defeated the rebellious Shadowhunters, we will be ready” Cat intervened.

Magnus nodded, but he knew that there was an incredibly hard choice waiting for them.

Alec needed to know exactly what that would imply, he could have simply guessed, but he wanted to hear it out loud.

“If I decide to keep my angel blood…” he kicked off.

“… you will remain a Shadowhunter, most likely. Maybe a Shadowhunter with some exceptional powers… I don’t know for sure since this has never happened before. But it will be far more dangerous. We can’t predict how your angel blood will react after merging with demon blood. It couldn’t work. As I just told you, the effects you had until now, seem to be good predictors, but the quantity of demon blood you had already taken is too small to be sure. And you still have your human blood to protect you. Otherwise, if you decide to mix your human blood with Magnus’, you will become…”

“… a warlock…” Magnus completed and closed his eyelids.

“Right. He’ll be a warlock too. This is the choice you have to weigh wisely in the time you have. I think I can leave now since I told you everything you needed to know. You'll know where to find me, if you need any other information.”

Chen-Hsieh stood up from the rug. He waved his hand in the air and an orange portal opened in the middle of the room. He stepped in after greeting all of them with a smile and a little bow.

Jace was watching Alec and Magnus still sitting on the rug, in silence, with their hands joined, and their gazes cast down.

It had been a lot. A lot to hear, a lot to know, a lot to process.

He could sense that Alec's mind was clouded and he felt sorry for his brother. Whatever choice would have been, Alec would have to deal with danger and pain.

_ It’s not fair. Life is asking so much from you Alec. I’m sorry. _

On one side, Jace was hoping that Alec would choose his angel blood. If so, he could remain a Shadowhunter, and Jace wouldn’t have to lose his parabatai, he wouldn’t have to witness the fading of their rune, he wouldn’t have to learn to be a stranger to Alec’s emotions and feelings.

But this meant putting Alec in danger and Jace was incredibly scared of losing him.

He couldn’t even stand the idea of living without Alec by his side.

If Alec would have chosen to become a warlock, the ritual would have been easier, less dangerous, but their bond will probably vanish.

Could that feeling be compared with the death of his parabatai? Jace couldn’t tell. He didn’t know.

He wished he could help Alec in this choice, but he knew it wasn't possible.

It was all on Alec’s shoulders. And Magnus’ of course.

Hadn’t it always been so? All on Alec's shoulders? Since they were kids?

Jace could understand the rage Alec must have felt when he had been drawn to become Consul against his will.

Alec had always been literally thrown into situations he had learned to deal with,  _ while _ living them.

Slowly Jace turned to Izzy, she must have been in a total mess. And he wasn’t wrong.

She was staring Alec with watery and glassy eyes; her lips were slightly trembling. She loved Alec so much. Jace had always known that Alec was almost everything for Izzy. They didn’t share only their blood, they had always been two sides of one soul, completing each other perfectly, each one fitting impeccably the other’s gaps.

She had always been the  _ drive _ , Alec had always been the  _ anchor _ ; she had been the  _ wind in the sail,  _ and Alec had been the  _ helm _ .

How could she survive if something should happen to him?

Jace was sure Izzy would have supported the warlock's choice since that implied securing and protecting Alec’s life.

More also, Izzy could easily decide to become a Downworlder herself.

Izzy was staring at Alec, trying to guess his emotions and thoughts.

He was still sitting on the rug, fixing the fur, his lips curled in concentration.

Izzy thought they looked so beautiful like that. They were so in love and that love had already cost them a lot. Despite all this, they were still there. Hands in hands, facing to climb the side of another mountain, with the unknown waiting on the other side.

Izzy had always known that Alec would have become a man capable of loving deeply and wholeheartedly, but she had always feared that no one could have ever matched that kind of intensity and fondness.

But she had been proved wrong. Magnus had loved Alec,  _ heart and soul _ , exactly like she had predicted him so many years ago.

And that love had made his brother blossom, shine, grow, improve, become what he was meant to be.

She couldn’t think of losing him.

She found herself smiling as her childhood memories came welling up. She could hear Alec’s voice even now, as it was while they were playing in her room. She must have been 4 years old. He had made a cloak with her sheets and he was wearing a paper crown on his head, his training stick unsheathed as if it was a sword. She could still see him, bowing his head, down on his knees, calling her  _ my princess _ ; promising he would always protect her, he would always love her and that he would have never let anything or anyone hurt her. Alec had been Izzy’s first prince.

She could see how in all the men she had met, she had always been searching for that kind, protective attitude. 

And Alec had never failed. Not even once.

Even when he was blaming himself for letting her slip in the infernal beam of yin-fen, for not being there for her, with her, she knew that it hadn’t been Alec’s fault at all. In those days, she was submerged by a great sense of inadequacy, she felt lonely, unappreciated, and misunderstood, always striving to fulfill her mother’s expectations. But Izzy wasn’t willing to become like her mother was back then, on account of the Clave.

Alec stood up, pulling Magnus up his legs too, without leaving his hand, not even for a second. He ran his fingers through his hair nervously, then turned to Magnus and gave him a quick, light kiss on the lips.

“Well…” he just didn’t know exactly what he was going to say next “…I guess that now…, now that Magnus and I have all the cards out on the table, we need a little time to think.”

Magnus stroke his cheek, slowly and gently. 

“… And… it won’t be a group brainstorming…” he wanted to make it clear.

Jace’s laughter resounded in the room, soon followed by Izzy and Clary.

Alec was so thankful that his parabatai had switched the mood.

“While we’re thinking… I need you, Jace and Clary, to help me find out who could be behind all this. I already have an idea. But I need shreds of evidence.”

“Sure Alec, whatever you ask. Bring us our assignments.” the soldier said back.

\------------------ x -------------------------

Magnus was cuddled on Alec’s chest under the red sheets of their bed. They were silent, lost in their thoughts. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Alec to ask for his advice. He didn’t know what to tell him. Alec was standing in front of an extremely important crossroad and Magnus didn’t want him to regret any of his choices later on.

Alec's chest was soft and warm. His heartbeat was steady and his breaths were smooth.

“We still can reconsider it all.” He whispered in the dark.

“What?”

“Becoming immortal. Whatever you’ll choose, the price’s gonna be high.”

Alec chuckled.

“Can’t find a better way to tell me you’ll like to move on one day?”

“I’m serious Alexander. You heard him.”

“I did. And I haven’t changed my mind. If this is the only chance I have to stay with you forever, I will take it. No matter what. Whatever the choice, I choose you.”

Magnus’ lips found his skin.

“Will you still love me if I won’t have my deflect rune anymore?”, he was gently laughing.

“I will draw a new one, right where this one is.”

“I’m serious Magnus. Will you still love me if… if I will be different from who I am now?”

“You loved me the same, without my cat eyes. Besides, you won’t be. You will always be you. And I will love you, no matter what.”

“I don’t know what to do Magnus.”

“I know. And I understand. I wish you could remain a Shadowhunter, but I will be dishonest if I tell you that this option doesn’t scare me. I don’t want to lose you. But I also don’t want you to lose yourself.”

Alec sighed.

“Let’s think about this when we’ll have handled all the other stuff. Now show me exactly where you will be painting runes on me…”

\---------------- x------------------

Alec and Magnus were waiting for the funeral to begin. They were both dressed in white, as the Shadowhunters’ tradition requested.

Alec was thinking that the last time he had worn white, it had been at Jocelynìs funeral. Oh God, he was in a terrible pain back then. He and Magnus weren’t  _ something _ yet, he had felt so lost, so guilty for having been the  _ weapon _ that had torn apart Clary’s life…. After all they had done to save Jocelyn from Valentine. Even if he wasn’t in himself at that moment, he had been plagued by his sense of weakness.

“Alexander… Are you, all right?”

“Yeah… I was… having memories…”

“I know… that’s why I asked you.” Magnus brushed his cheek. “You were so… lost back then…, I wish I could have done more for you…”

“But you have… Remember that night on your roof? You gave me the strength to face Clary and… well you saved me, when I was standing on that ledge…”

Magnus gasped at the memory of Alec letting himself fall.

He looked at his husband and found him smiling fondly at him.

“What now Alexander?”

“You look beautiful in white…I've never had the chance to see you wearing this color…It makes your skin stand out.”

“The white on you does things to me too, Alexander… since you were wearing it when you gave me our first kiss…”

Their lips were lightly brushing.

Jia’s pyre stood right in the middle of the Accord’s Hall.

Alec was near the pyre. He was the Consul now, he would have been the one to ignite it, after receiving a nod from Brother Zachariah.

He turned toward the door as he saw Ailine entering, she was sobbing, supported by Helen.

The protocol would have wanted him to stay right where he was.

_ Oh, screw the protocol. _

He started walking toward Ailine, whispers and hushed tones spreading through the Hall.

As he arrived next to her, he encircled her in his arms, holding her tight.

She gasped and Helen remained startled.

“Alec…You…You…” Ailine couldn’t speak.

“I’m sorry Ailine, I’m sorry that you have to go through all this pain.”

“Alec…thank you….”, and she buried her face in his chest.

He stood there, holding her as she was trembling with tears. His eyes were high above the crowd as if he wanted to state  _ “New Consul, new ways. Get used to this.” _

“Come with me Ailine. We’ll do this together. We’ll set fire to the pyre together… It will be a way to wave her your last goodbye. Come with me.”

He kept his arm strongly wrapped around Ailine shoulders, while they were walking.

Magnus stood there too, near Brother Zachariah. He was watching Alec with proud eyes, his husband never ceased to amaze him.

“That Alexander Lightwood is really incredible my dear friend", a voice was echoing inside Magnus’ head.

“I know Jem…I know…I never thanked you properly for not complying with my request to erase my memories of him…”

“People memories are the fuel they burn to stay alive… and you know that my friend…You weren’t really willing to forget him and you weren’t even prepared for that… That’s why I challenged you, telling you to do it yourself…Alexander Lightwood would have remained forever in your heart even if you had succeeded in erasing your memories of him, because he had changed you, deeply. You would have never been the same after him. The way he loves you… leaves a mark on the heart.”

Magnus closed his eyelids as these words sunk into him deeply.

The ceremony started.

Ailine stood there as in a trance, she was following Brother’s Zachariah movements, but she couldn’t focus on what was happening around her.

It hadn’t been easy for Ailine, to grow under the shadow of such a powerful, severe and rigorous mother. She was remembering the bad fight she had with her mum when she had told Jia she didn’t like boys. She had rushed out of the house, yelling her that she hated her and that she didn’t want to see her anymore. And she had stayed true to her words. For years. Traveling around the Institutes of the world. Until she had met Helen. Helen had convinced her to go back to Alicante. Helen had convinced her to talk to her mum, to give her a second chance.

And they had rediscovered themselves, as a mother and a daughter.

And now, now that she and Helen were about to become a family, she had lost her, forever.

The voices arousing form the Hall snapped her back into reality.

_ Jia Penhallow, ave atque vale, hail and farewell. _

Alec held the fire torch in his hand. He grabbed Ailine hand, guiding her to hold the torch with him.

They approached the pyre and gave fire to it.

\------------------ x --------------------------------

“Alec? Were you searching for us?”

“Jace, yeah. Come in. Hi Clary, how are you feeling?”

“Ehm… I’m fine Alec thanks. Much better every day.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Clary spotted Magnus sitting at the corner of Alec’s office. He was lost in reading some papers he had on his lap. He looked so concentrated. He was holding a cup in his right hand, sipping a little at a time.

“Oh, hi Magnus.”

Magnus winced then smiled.

“Biscuit, Jace. Is everything fine?”

“Yeah, we are fine Magnus, what about you? You seem… tired?”, Jace's voice expressed a bit of concern, Magnus seemed really exhausted.

“Magnus has undergone his first blood drawn today, with Catarina…”, Alec explained, “…and he’s a bit drained. When he’ll finish that potion, Cat said, he will be fine again. That’s why he’s with me now, he can’t use his magic until he’s feeling better. Thereby, he needs protection” Alec grinned.

Magnus used to hate the sensation of feeling powerless and needing to rely on others to protect himself, but since he’d lost his magic, he had learned to accept that sometimes it was good, letting the others taking care of him, especially if it was Alec.

“Ugh… Speaking of bodyguards. I chose the best” and drank a little bit more of his potion.

Jace was waiting for Alec to speak.

“I’ve been told that the Head of the Buenos Aires Institute, Breakspear, had been missing. He and some of his loyalists. He’s conservative, retrograde, and tied to all those stupid things the Clave had been soaking our minds with for centuries. I’ve had the mischance of meeting him when I was called in Argentina last year. He didn’t allow me to sleep in the Institute, since I was… Magnus’ boyfriend. I had figured out the whole picture just this morning, while I was trying to recall the exact words I’d heard after Jia had been shot. I had already noticed an imperceptible Spanish accent, but I focused on this detail only now, after the Buenos Aires Institute reported to Alicante that their Head was missing. He must have been portalled here directly since he was obviously invited to the proclaiming of the Laws.”

“They will be hiding somewhere in Idris then.” Jace was pondering.

“Yeah, I’m sure about this. They wouldn’t leave Idris since they are willing to find a way and a moment to kill me.”

“So… how do we find them?”

“I asked Gwyn and the Wild Hunt to find them. No one can hide from the Wild Hunt. Fairies have eyes and ears everywhere. He’s supposed to report me in an hour or so.”

“And once we've found them?”

“We will fight Jace.”

Magnus flinched. This was a statement he would have never wanted to hear from Alec.

“We have to put them down. Now. All of them. With no mercy. The new Laws have just entered into force, our alliance is still fragile, we have to protect it above all else. And the Downworld will fight with us.”

Alec’s speech made sense. In every way. Still, Magnus was feeling distressed and anguished.

“Gather the best ones Jace. The best we have here in Alicante. We’ll meet in the Hall in a couple of hours.”

Jace and Clary rushed out of the room.

\---------------------------- x --------------------------------

The sound of Gwyn’s horn resounded in the blue sky of Alicante. The Wild Hunt was a group of huntsmen comprised of faeries and the dead. The Hunt had never had any allegiance to any of the earthly Courts, not to the Nephilim. Since now, they had always refused to involve themselves with the Accords.

Some riders had black horses, others massive black dogs or hounds.

Upon their approach, their shouts and battle cries could be heard everywhere. When they rode through the sky, they were accompanied by strong winds and clouds, that seemed to come alive as they passed by.

Here they were, a grey whirling wind spiraling in the center of the Hall.

Gwyn rode a grey faerie steed. Unlike many of his kind, Gwyn was a righteous, kind, and caring man. And he had become friends with Alec. Alec was a man of honor too, generous and brave and Gwyn trusted him. He thought that Alec was like him since he was still capable of harshness if required by his position, but he had a secret romantic and tender side.

As he dismounted of his steed, he stood in all his hugeness at the center of the Hall. He was a big man, square chin, sharp cheekbones, and big heterochromatic eyes.

No one dared to speak when Gwyn was around, not even the Seelie and Unseelie royals.

“You were right Alec. They are hiding in the forest near Lake Lynn. It must have been… a hundred, more or less. This is the number my riders had count.”

Alec was pacing the floor silently, one hand on his chin, the other one in his left pocket.

He was thinking about the best strategy to follow.

“Ok then. I have a plan.”

The crowd of warriors silenced immediately. There were Shadowhunters, seelies, vampires, warlocks, and werewolves.

“At first, the battle will be handled by Shadowhunters and the riders of the Wild Hunt. All the other ones are dismissed. We will call for you if something goes wrong, or if we need reinforcements. We will get prepared in full combat gear, so go and get your weapons. On the battlefield, we will all be following Jace Herondale’s orders. I’ll give him the strategy, he will lead the battle. All the parabatais will fight together. One last thing. A couple of warlocks are coming with us. The High Warlock will name their names to me, so be prepared to gather here with us in half an hour. Everyone is dismissed until then.”

Magnus had tensed instantly. He had thought that Alec would have stayed in Alicante coordinating the operations. And if he had decided to go, why hadn’t he mentioned Magnus going with them? Wasn’t he supposed to stand in battle beside his husband? He needed to talk to Alec, immediately.

Jace, Clary, and Izzy could sense that there was an argument almost starting between them. But there was nowhere else to go. Magnus had to think of the names and he had to be quick, there wasn’t time for them to get away and leave them space to talk alone.

“What is this Alexander? Cause I don’t really get the point…”

Magnus' voice was full of hurt, “I… I thought that the Consul wouldn’t be fighting...”

“I’m a Shadowhunter Magnus. I was grown to go to war. I’m their leader, I am the reason why they are called into war. I have to be the first one to fight.”

“Then I’m coming with you” Magnus replied back.

“You…you can’t come with us, Magnus. You’re needed here. I need you to protect Alicante. You made the wards. You are the one who can sense immediately if someone is trying to put them down. We don’t know if they are fighting alone or if they have gathered demons or warlocks on their side. I… I wish you could come with me… But… you just can’t….”, his voice was brittle. He knew Magnus was scared and was hurting, but he just couldn’t leave Alicante without protection. Magnus had spoken his vows… to protect Alicante and Idris… at this very moment they had to concentrate only on their public positions and roles.

Magnus exhaled deeply. He knew Alec was right. Damn, why did he always had to be so right? There were no arguments, no excuses. Anything Magnus could cling on to.

Minutes were passing mercilessly.

Why, why it always had to be so hard for them?

He had promised Alec he would have never left him alone again.

“Bring with you Hypatia Vex and Kwasi Bediako. I need Cat and Tessa here with me.” His voice was fierce and hard now. He was staring at the wall right in front of him.

“Send the fire messages to them. They will portal here instantly.”

The Hall was full again. The riders of the Wild Hunt were eager. 

Jace was instructing everyone about the strategy he and Alec had decided to follow.

Magnus slowly approached Alec, putting his hand on his husband’s shoulder.

“Hey… “, his voice was soft and caressing.

“Hey… Magnus… I’m sorry… I…”, Alec couldn’t find the right words.

“It’s ok. I understand. You were right. Unfortunately, you are always right. I… I just didn’t expect you to go into a battle again. That’s’ all. I…”, Magnus faltered.

“Magnus… I will fight with Jace by my side. I won’t do anything to put myself in danger. I promise. I won’t do anything stupid or reckless.”

Alec turned to face his husband and wrapped him in a tight embrace, a gesture Magnus wasn’t expecting in a Hall full of strangers. He returned the embrace, sagging in Alec’s chest, and

Alec bowed his head a bit to kiss him.

“This ring I’m wearing has your magic carved in, to protect me. And if things will ever go crazy, I can call out for you. Remember…. Ariadne?” he was chuckling softly.

“Stupid pup, don’t even mention that. Come back to me. Safe. Do you hear me?”

“I will make it up to you. I promise. I love you.”

“I love you too Alexander”

They kissed another time, greedily and unabashedly.

As they parted, all the warriors gathered around the High Warlock that was about to portal them into the forest.

Magnus opened the portal. Before stepping in Izzy crashed in Simon’s arms, giving him her goodbye. In the meantime, Jace approached Magnus. He hugged him forcefully and whispered in his ear “I’ll bring him back to you. I will protect him with my life if it’s necessary.”

Magnus just tightened his grip on Jace’s shoulders, then he let him go.

Alec was the last one to step in. Before throwing himself inside he gave a last glance to Magnus, mouthing  _ I love you _ and then disappeared in the whirlwind.


	9. Missing you comes in waves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec goes to battle and fights with Jace….The Wild Hunt helps a lot…A real victory is just in front of them when something unforeseen happens… and the myth becomes real again…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little warning... close to death scene, lot of angst, but no cliffhanger

The portal opened right near Lake Lynn.

The forest surrounding the lake was flourishing ad luxuriant and Alec had always loved it.

Those trees were ancient and timeless, probably deeply rooted in that ground since the mists of time.

Some of them had a smooth light grey bark and seemed thinner and taller, their wide foliage disappearing into the sky, slightly moving with the breeze, gently swaying in his caress. 

The ones with a rough brown bark, that gave shelter to the squirrels or little birds living in the forest, looked somehow smoother as the greenness of moss had covered them all up to the lowest branches.

Gnarled roots were stepping out of the ground, making their way up to a soft green carpet that smelled like spring and flowers and blossoms.

The sun wasn’t so high anymore and its mellow rays filtered through the leaves casting and unearthly green-gold luminescence over the ground.

The army of Shadowhunters was slowly approaching the area where the forest was thicker and denser.

The first thing that hit Alec was the scent of pine trees mixed with the aroma of wet, humid earth, and grass. He was tall so he had to bend here and there to avoid the branches hitting him and tearing his clothes off.

A deep, huge, heavy silence was enveloping them all, even the soft susurration of their breaths felt heavy in their ears.

They were all glamoured and invisible, but some branches were creaking under their boots as their feet were shuffling through the leaves. Fortunately those sounds got lost between the squirrels chattering, the wind whistling between the dense trunks and the rustling of animals rooting in the underbrush.

Alec knew he should be focusing on the battle that was about to begin, but he couldn’t keep his mind from Magnus.

He went back to the first time he had brought Magnus in that forest.

It had been the day after Magnus’ induction as the High Warlock. Alec wanted to surprise him and had blindfolded Magnus’ eyes and guided him through the trees taking him by his hand. Magnus was stumbling behind him and kept laughing like a child.

His laughter was light as if he was embarrassed, and it sounded like the chirping of a bird. As Magnus’ other senses had been enhanced by the momentary blindness, Alec could see him turning his head in the direction of every small noise he’d heard or inhaling deep breaths whenever a stronger scent hit his nostrils.

He could remember every single change in his expressions, every wrinkle on Magnus’ face, every small turning of his mouth. And he could remember Magnus’ warm breath on his neck when he suddenly had stopped and made him sit down on the grass, embracing him. Alec had removed the blindfold and had kissed Magnus deeply, leaving him out of breath.

Then they had made love there, on the grass, surrounded by the trees, caressed by the early summer breeze, their gasps and moans blending with the sounds of the forest.

The  _ Wild Hunt _ was flying high up above them, waiting for the concerted signal to join the battle and take their enemies by surprise.

Alec and Jace heard some sounds coming from behind a huge green bush, as they cocked their head, they saw them. The enemies Shadowhunters had built a camp, raising a wooden fort in the middle of four oak trees and they were walking around, laughing and probably preparing for dinner. There were fires lit on the ground and some of them were collecting wood and food.

“They have a warlock with them” Alec whispered. “I can feel the wards. I can feel the magic. Call Hypatia and Kwasi we are going to need them right here before we get started”.

In a moment the two warlocks stood beside Alec.

“How long will it take for you two to bring these wards down?” Jace asked them.

“Not that much… these wards aren’t that strong… it must have been hard to find a powerful warlock willing to help them since Magnus has recruited all of us under his leadership”, Kwasi answered while scanning the wards with his hands.

“Give me a number… ten minutes, half an hour…?” Alec‘s voice was sharp.

“Ten minutes Alec, that would be enough to break these wards without them noticing. When the wards are about to fall under our magic, you can break through and start the assault. We can also give the sign to Gwyn so that they will be attacking them from above.”

“I will give the sign to Gwyn; you need your hands focused on here. Let’s start then, I don’t want anyone realizing that we have arrived, we have to seize the moment, now that they are all busy doing something else.”

“Are you really worried we’re not gonna win? Alec… you have the best warriors at your beck and call…” Jace smiled.

“No, I’m not worried about that. I know we’re going to defeat them. I don’t want anybody to get hurt, or at least I want to keep that number to a minimum.”

Here he was again, Jace thought. He wanted everyone to go home safe. 

_ I won’t let anyone hurt you. I will bring you home to Magnus, Alec. I promise I will bring you home. _

__

Hypatia and Kwasi moved their hands together and started to work on the wards, murmuring spells under their breaths, as silently as they could.

Alec was missing Magnus more than anything else. He could feel Magus’ magic dancing under his skin, reacting to the magic that was surrounding him, the wards, and the spells.

It felt as if that magic inside of him was scanning everyone and everything to protect him.

Those ten minutes seemed infinite.

When the two warlocks were about to tear all the wards down, Alec tensed his bow and shot an arrow right above their heads.

That was the sign for Gwyn to bring the  _ Wild Hunt _ down.

At the same moment Breakspear realized that something was terribly wrong.

He glanced up to the sky to see the  _ Hunters _ swooping down on them, then turned to his right and saw an army of Shadowhunters trespassing the wards.

He recognized Alec immediately.

Breakspear realized it was too late for them to organize themselves and fight back properly.

As Alec saw him, he remembered instantly the terrible interaction they had shared a year ago in Buenos Aires, when Alec had come into his Institute to ask for a spare room. Alec had entered there with his usual kind attitude but instead, he had been blocked right past the front door; Breakspear telling him that he wasn’t welcome there, since everyone knew he was “ _ that demon Warlock puppy _ ”.

Alec's expression had immediately turned hard: he hadn’t cared that much for the  _ puppy  _ thing, but no one, no one was allowed to address Magnus as a demon in front of him. He had stormed out of the Institute, promising Breakspear that one day, there would have been consequences for showing him such disrespect and ignorance.

Breakspear had a fire in his eyes and Alec could clearly see he was furious. He probably wasn’t expecting anyone to come after them so soon and he certainly wasn’t expecting the Consul himself, fighting with his fellows.

Conscious that they couldn't win, he had started running toward the north part of the camp, dragging with him a young girl, probably the warlock, to make her open a portal and escape. One of the  _ Hunters _ had stopped him in his tracks, forcing him to fight with his seraph blade.

Alec could see he wasn’t really trained to fight, his moves were slow, his reflexes weren’t quick as they should have been. It was going to be really easy for Jace to put him down in a hand-to-hand fight.

While the  _ Hunter _ was keeping him busy, Alec and Jace started fighting together, back against back. They resembled a strange bi-faced creature. On one side there was a warrior with two blades, on the other side another warrior with a bow and a quiver.

Their feet moved together, their thighs bent in unison, their shoulders arched and curved inside one another.

Jace could feel that Alec’s back was wettening during the battle. It had been a long time since they had fought together just like that. This was what Jace was going to miss most if Alec would have become a warlock; this sense of closeness, of fullness.

He tried to focus on the here and now. On that broad and strong back that was moving with his own, responding to an instinct that was older than life itself, on those arms that were moving frantically, tensing and releasing and on that sure voice that was guiding him to avoid the blows he couldn’t see coming.

Jace remembered the first time they had gone into battle, after speaking their parabatai’s vows. They were surrounded by Shax Demons. They had been battling side by side, shoulder by shoulder and they were starting to feel exhausted. Jace had already dealt with almost ten demons, killing them with his blades and he had activated his stamina and endurance runes three times. They were not going to last for long if they weren’t going to change their strategy soon. While they were panting and gasping, waiting for another demon to show up, Alec had suggested shyly to turn their positions and start fighting back against back. They would have taken turns in fighting until both would have rested a bit. When Jace had looked at him a bit puzzled, Alec explained to him that if they fought back against back, they would have had a 360 degrees view on the room and Jace could have spotted the demons that kept entering, giving Alec the right direction to shoot his arrows, using the clock hours as benchmarks. Then they would have done the reverse, Alec spotting the demons and Jace killing them with his blades and knives.

From that moment Alec and Jace easily got rid of them.

“You should suggest the battle strategy more often” Jace had told Alec, realizing that his brother was really good in anticipating the possible battling scenarios.

Alec had just smiled back and replied “If you’ll ever let me…”

And from that day on, they had been fighting so.

As Alec was feeling Jace’s ragged breath and his shoulders heaving, he thought that Izzy had been right so many years ago. He and Jace just “clicked” and they really were better fighters together than they were alone. Jace had different a way of fighting when he was with Alec. He was more conscious, more mindful, less reckless as if he was aware that with each of his moves he was responsible for another life.

Alec was savoring the feeling of their bodies anticipating the other’s moves, falling into a well know pattern of turns and blows.

Was he ready to lose this? Could he really be able to live without being a Shadowhunter anymore? He felt so glad that Clary was back, that Jace could rely on her, that he could find comfort in her presence and her love.

Slowly they arrived at the point where Breakspear was still fighting the  _ Hunter _ , holding the young girl by her wrist. As they were closing the distance to reach them, Alec clearly sensed that the young girl was a warlock, her magic was responding to Magnus’s one and she was murmuring spells toward him and Jace.

The more they approached, the more she got scared. Her eyes were wide in astonishment, since the spells she was casting toward him, returned back to her, one by one. She wasn’t prepared to face such a strong shield of magic, Magnus’ magic. The girl was so young and she seemed lost.

Simultaneously Alec saw Hypatia stepping closer and closer, pinning the girl down to the ground with his magic and at that moment Breakspear quickly left her wrist and made his way toward his tent, running.

“Have you seen him?” Alec asked.

“Yeah, Alec, he’s gone down there. I’ll go after him. Reach me when you’re done with the girl.”

Alec smiled, cause Jace had immediately understood what Alec was about to do.

Alec stopped Hypatia with a simple gesture of his hands and kneeled beside the young warlock, she was trembling, her face hidden inside her hands. Alec put one of his big hands on her shoulder.

“Don’t be scared, I won’t harm you. You’re young, brave, and smart. Come with us. Come to our side. You will find friends and the family you’ve never had. And you will have the greatest teacher the Shadow World can offer.”

“I’ve never seen a Shadowhunter fighting spells back” her face was still covered and she was sobbing in fear. “You are carrying magic inside and outside. I can sense it. It’s very powerful.”

“Yes, it is. That is my husband’s magic and he will be glad to show you how you can use your magic for the better. Come with us, Breakspear has bailed on you. He had run away and left you dying here. Come with us.”

Alec took one of her hands and forced her to stand up. As she rose from the grass Alec gave her hand to Hypatia who was still standing close to him, following Magnus instructions to never leave him out of his sight.

“You’re… You’re…” she couldn’t find the words.

“You’ll tell me everything when this is gonna be all over…now go with Hypatia and trust him. Do as he says.”

\---------------- x-----------------------

Meanwhile in Alicante Magnus was sitting in the Hall of the Accords with Cat and Tessa, incessantly waving his hands in front of his eyes, blue smoke escaping from his fingertips.

He was trying to stay focused on the wards of Alicante and on any sign of attack on the demon towers that were protecting the city, but his mind kept diverting on Alec. How was he? How was the battle going? Will he make it home safe? Why hadn’t he replied that he loved him, as Alec had stepped into the portal? Magnus had never been the one of them who said those words that much, not as often as Alec did. And now, he felt like regretting it.

Rationally he knew there was no real and good reason to be worried. The army gathered by Jace was made of the best Shadowhunters warriors and no one could ever compare to the cruelty and force of the  _ Hunters _ .

Still… he felt anguished.

Maybe he was just being conditioned by their past experiences, but something felt wrong. Something he couldn’t fully understand or comprehend.

He had had the same gut feeling when Alec had almost been killed by the Howl.

This was what was scaring him most. Usually, his intuition had never failed. He’d been alive for centuries… and his sensations had never been wrong.

\------------------- x -----------------------------------

Alec ran toward the tent.

While running he kept firing arrows on his right hand on his left, he felt safe and protected into that forest, with the dense trees giving him just the right amount of hiding he needed to charge his arch and shoot. While approaching he heard the sound of blades colliding and then crashing to the ground.

Jace had caught a glimpse of Alec coming, so he pushed Breakspear toward the tent’s entrance, just right into the trap. Alec silently prepared his arch and one of his arrows.

As soon as they were outside the tent, Jace’s left foot came forward, then he spun, his right leg extending as he did, and the heel of his right foot caught Breakspear directly along his jaw. As the man was falling on his back, with one big jump Jace abruptly landed right next to Alec, leaving Breakspear back totally uncovered and that was it. In the instant Jace’s feet had left the ground, Alec had shot his arrow, its tip breaching the skin just under Breakspear’s left shoulder blade.

The man fell down on the ground panting.

Alec and Jace stepped closer to the body on the grass.

As Breakspear tried to rise up Alec slammed his forearm across his stomach pushing him down violently.

“I won’t kill you in battle. It would be too easy. You will come back to Alicante with me, I will make you kneel in front of the High Warlock. I told you last time we’d met that it wasn’t over.”

His words were like ice.

“Let’s leave him here Jace and let’s go check the others. He won’t do no harm, we’ll come back and take him when the battle will be over” Alec commanded.

They turned again to the battlefield and Alec felt instantly lighter: his Shadowhunters and the  _ Wild Hunt _ had almost taken everyone down. He quickly scanned the faces and exhaled in relief when he spotted Izzy and Clary fighting together.

They had won, but Alec wasn’t happy. A lot of Shadowhunters had died following the lead of Breakspear, some of them probably being fooled by his ideas, not having had the opportunity to understand and see how beautiful it was to live together in peace and to work together to create a better Shadow World for everyone to live in.

The few of them that were alive had been bonded and were kneeling on the grass right near the lake. Alec could see them from the edge of the camp where he was standing with Jace.

He made a gesture and all of them gathered near the lake.

“Raise up” Alec’s voice was penetrating “You have been blessed with the fortune of being alive, I hope you’ll treasure and honor this gift swearing your loyalty to the new Laws.”

Everyone was silent.

“Now I am leaving you in the hands of the  _ Wild Hunt _ . Gwyn will bring you to Alicante and you will be locked up for a couple of days, so you can take your time to think which choice you’re going to make. If you’ll join us you will be freed from all your charges. Otherwise your punishment will be chosen by the members of the Cabinet.”

He spun to face the warlocks.

“Hypatia, Kwasi, go and bring the girl with you. Tell Magnus to put wards on the room they will be locked in. I’ll be taking back Breakspear myself, with Jace. Everyone else here is dismissed; enter the portal that Hypatia will open. Thank you all for the courage you’ve demonstrated today.”

As soon as the portal opened, all the Shadowhunters entered in and disappeared, leaving Alec on the shore of the lake only with Jace, Clary, and Izzy.

\------------X --------------------------

Magnus had been the first to see Gwyn arriving with the prisoners.

He ran toward them stopping in the middle of Angel’s Square “Where’s Alec?”

“He’s ok Magnus, he’ll be home soon. He’ll be taking Breakspear back. Jace, Izzy and Clary are with him.”

Magnus exhaled a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding inside of him, but he just couldn’t find peace.

\---------------------- x-----------------------

“Izzy…” Alec threw his arms around his sister’s waist hiding his nose in her black, soft hair.

“I’m ok Alec, I’m ok…” she smiled hugging him back.

“Of course you are. You’re the best badass fighter I’ve ever seen Izzy and… you two…” he pointed to Clary “you are going to make a really great pair. I saw you fighting together today. You really complete each other.”

Clary smiled and blushed a bit. Alec had never been a man who delivered compliments and praises easily.

Jace was standing near Alec, their shoulders slightly touching.

None of them had noticed that Breakspear had crawled to the end of the camp.

Unexpectedly he gathered the last ounce of strength he had to raise on his knees and throw a blade he had been hiding in his belt toward the parabatais. He screamed for the pain the moment he shot it, making everyone turn in the direction of the noise, then collapsed on the ground.

Alec understood immediately that the blade was pointing directly to Jace’s heart, so he pushed his brother aside in one quick strong shove. Jace shouted Alec’s name.

The blade hit Alec on his left shoulder, it wasn’t a mortal wound, but the blow had been strong and Alec wasn’t planted firmly on his feet since he had just moved to push Jace on the ground. He unconsciously took a couple of steps back and stumbled on a big stone behind him. He lost balance and fell on his back, landing with a loud thud in the deep dark waters of Lake Lynn, a sudden gasp escaping from his lips.

His head was the first to go under the surface, the corners of his mouth still slightly open in surprise.

“Nooooo, Nooooo, Alec….” Jace stood up running toward the water when he felt a tight grip on his wrist, it was Izzy’s whip.

“You can’t go in there…” she was crying “the water will bring you down too…”, tears were streaming down her face, slowly, her eyes were red.

“He’s going to drawn, Izzy…”

“He fell in there to save you, damn idiot! Is this how you’re going to honor his sacrifice?” she shouted back.

Jace fell on his knees, sobbing like a child. He had promised, he had promised Magnus that he would protect Alec with his own life. And now Alec was dying because he had saved him.

When Alec heard the water hitting his back and enveloping his head, he tried to spin into the water and force himself to swim back to the shore.

As he was fighting to regain control of his body, he felt the black icy water of the lake hit his lips and mouth, and his heart started racing fast. He knew that he should stay focused on trying not to breathe, to keep the intake of the water to a minimum. The lake of the water was poisonous to Nephilims; if he started drinking, he would have had hallucinations that would have driven him mad.

But he needed to breathe. So he tried to kick his legs as fast as he could and to part the water with huge strokes of his arms to push his head out of the water.

He exploded outside the water just for a moment and filled his lungs with a hint of air but the exhaustion was bringing him down again. He had been fighting for the last three hours, he couldn’t move his limbs properly since they were enveloped in wet heavy clothing, the streams of the lake were making it difficult to stay upright and the small quantity of water he had already drank was starting to cloud his mind. He pushed with his arm and legs one more time but he could find no leverage, for all he realized he was only dragging himself further down.

He felt worn-out. He stopped fighting the flow and he gave up swimming. He just wanted to rest. And as his movements stopped, he slowly started to sink lower into the water. What was left of his consciousness kept forcing his instinct not to breathe underwater so strongly that it was overcoming the agony of running out of air.

When the lack of air became unbearable and he took his first involuntary breath, he was still conscious as the icy-cold water flooded in and his throat burned as if a thousand needles had been plunged into it.

Panic raised in his chest. He started to take spasmodic breaths that kept dragging water into his mouth. He felt himself choking, he wanted to scream, he wanted to stop breathing, but his body wasn’t responding to him anymore, his mouth kept on opening and gasping, the cold water was filling his lungs and his blood was pounding behind his closed eyes.

Then he felt them arriving, the hallucinations and delusions forming in his mind like a raging wave barreling toward him. As he strived to keep his mind present Alec suddenly found himself back in time. 

He was sitting again in front of Asmodeus, that kept repeating him –  _ You are the source of all of his suffering. You make him vulnerable, weak -  _ and then he was in the bookshop again, forcing himself to leave Magnus.

It was too much, he opened his mouth to shout and more water entered in his lungs and poisoned his mind.

Then he was in Edom, everything was red and black around him. He was running through empty corridors searching for Magnus. When he finally arrived in the throne room, Magnus was lying on the floor of the castle, a pool of blood under his stomach, Alec bent on his knees, screaming.

Then he was standing alone near a grave, in the cemetery that was in the back garden of the Institute. He was crying on Jace’s and Izzy’s graves. Magnus was beside him, but he wasn’t comforting him. He was shouting at him, that it had been his fault, that he had failed all of them, that he hadn’t done his best. And then Magnus was turning his back on him and leaving him, alone and crying on the grass.

Alec could clearly feel that he was losing his mind. He still knew that those images were just in his head, but as the moments passed he found it more and more difficult to focus on what was real, the delusions were filling his thoughts, weakening him, and making him lose contact with reality.

And at that moment, when he could sense that his life was slowly leaving his body; his heart and his mind went directly to Magnus.

He focused on what the world would have been for Magnus without him after he had died. 

He pictured Jace and Izzy notifying Magnus that he had drawn in the water of the lake. He thought about how Magnus would have been devastated, about his dreams being shattered, and then he thought Magnus would have probably said something like, “Why couldn’t he had been selfish for just one moment in his life? Why couldn’t he had thought that he was leaving me alone here in this damn world?”

Then he saw Magnus coming there and sitting on the shore waiting for him do be dragged out of the water. His face was limp, his eyes were red, he was sobbing and his body was shaken by the pain. What would his life be like without him? Where was he going to live? What was he going to do?

His emotions and thoughts suddenly focused on the one and only thing in his life that was most precious to him and that he couldn’t bear the idea of losing, Magnus. He wasn’t clear-headed anymore and he was progressively losing his ability to think straight, but he could still feel how much love he felt for Magnus. He could still recognize his emotions and feeling for that man who had changed his life forever.

_ I’m so sorry Magnus. Things shouldn’t have gone this way. It wasn’t meant to end like this. I’m sorry my love, sorry for everything, sorry for leaving you alone. I love you, more than my words and actions could ever prove. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Thank you for loving me the way you had done. Thank you for having made of me the man I am now. I’ve never wanted to leave you. _

His body seemed suddenly lighter and he didn’t feel the urge to breathe anymore. Alec knew he was dying and while his mind was crowded by nightmares and dark figures, he felt pain, a sharp stinging pain in his chest. Then Tessa’s words echoed inside his ears “ _ Don’t fight it, let it go _ ”. With the last of his force he let his mind call Magnus for help, then his body rolled inside the water, floating beneath the waves.

Magnus was standing in their bedroom inside the loft, when he felt a sharp terrible tug inside of him and he understood immediately that Alec had been badly injured. As terror flooded inside his mind and soul, he felt the magic rush through his body, he closed his eyes and let himself be carried by it. A portal opened and sucked him in with such a force that Magnus thought he was about to pass out.

When he reopened his eyes, he was on the shore in front of Lake Lynn. He could hear someone screaming behind his back, but the sounds were smothered and muffled to his ears, because he was focused on the water, on the black figure floating in there.

_ Alexander _ .

Without even thinking that he had his magic, he threw himself in the water and swam as fast as he could to reach his husband.

_ Please, please, hang in there Alexander, wait for me, I’m coming. Hold on. _

__

He needed to touch him, to hold him inside his arms. He could feel himself crying and shouting Alec’s name on the surface of the water until he caught him.

It had been a while since Alec had stopped feeling anything as if he wasn't there anymore as if he didn’t exist anymore. After a few seconds, everything turned a pungent blue, a pure dark blue all around him, like an aura surrounding him. Was he just imaging it? It was the purest color he had ever seen.

Magnus encircled Alec’s waist with his arms and gently brought his husband's face out of the water, placing it on his shoulder.

Alec's body unconsciously sensed the presence of a figure who had come closer to him and that was whispering something with affection and love. That voice sounded like a balm for his haunted mind, an antidote for the madness he had felt just a moment before. He thought he was dead.

Magnus waved one of his hands in the air and that was exactly when he was dragged out of water. Then there was nothing.

As Magnus laid him on the grass, Alec had already passed out. He wasn’t breathing, his face was deathly pale.

Magnus' hands were trembling and he felt like he didn’t know what to do. Then he rested his hands on Alec’s chest, murmuring something in an ancient and obscure language.

Water started to pour out of Alec’s mouth, violently. His chest was being pressed and released by the magic flooding through him.

Magnus kept moving his hands until he heard Alec coughing. The fear, the pain, and the exhaustion were hitting him.

He felt two strong hands pushing him aside and a gentle voice was reassuring him, “He’s breathing Magnus, he’s breathing. He’s still unconscious. Let me finish this. Let me help.”

Cat was there and all Magnus could think about, was that Alec had almost died.

He was kneeling beside the body of his husband, holding one of his arms between his palms, Alec’s body was shaking under the hands that were scanning him, more water pouring out of his mouth.

Magnus refused to look away, even as his lips trembled and his shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down. His dark lashes brimmed heavy with tears; his hands clenched into shaking fists, in a desperate battle against the grief.

Cat moved her hand on Alec’s head, murmuring a spell as if she was trying to force something out. Alec’s face winced in pain and he started to seizure. Magnus couldn’t hold it anymore, his tears burst forth like water from a dam, streaming down from his golden eyes, spilling down his face. Loud sobs were tearing from his throat, but still he didn’t look away. Instead he leaned down until his mouth was breathing in Alec’s ear. He wanted to be there, he needed to see. He knew Alec could feel him. He could feel the muscles of his chin trembling while he was whispering soothing, loving words, praying Alec to come back.

He hadn’t realized that Izzy was now kneeling beside him.

“You arrived Magnus, you saved him, you arrived…”, Izzy was sobbing like a small child while she was drawing soothing circles with her hand on Magnus’ back.

Clary was holding Jace strongly into her arms. He was sobbing into her chest unceasingly, his hands clutching at her clothes. She held him in silence, rocking him slowly as his tears soaked her chest. His pain was coming in waves, long moments of sobbing interspaced with short gasps for recovering his breath. He tried to pull away, blinking his lashes heavy with tears, he wanted to be strong since he could see Magnus was falling apart. But the pain and the guilt were too much. He collapsed again, his shoulders were shaking and he wasn’t sure he really wanted to know what Cat was about to tell them.

Then the seizures stopped abruptly. Alec was lying on the ground, his breathing seemed more regular, his face wasn’t clenched anymore, his skin seemed to gain color again.

Magnus raised his head in hope, but Alec’s eyes were still closed.

He looked at Cat with dubious and uncertain eyes, fearing the worst. He hadn’t noticed Cat was crying too.

She dried her tears with her forearm and tried to catch her breath to explain to them what had just happened.

“He’s alive Magnus. His lungs and his heart are fine… but… his soul is not. He had drunk too much water and he’s trapped somewhere inside his mind. He’s still fighting in there, lost in hallucinations and delusions. I tried to pull him out, but you’ve seen how it went. I can’t do that any longer. It would kill him.”

Magnus understood immediately what Cat was trying to say, a dark veil covering his heart.

“Will he ever be able to get out from there?” Magnus' voice was trembling.

“…I… I don’t know Magnus. The insanity and madness induced by the water of the lake are powerful, and strictly related and bound to our worst nightmares and fears. No one can help him there. He has to find his way out alone. The only hope we have is…is… your blood.”

Magnus raised his eyebrows in awe.

“Yes Magnus, the demon blood he has already flooding inside his system isn’t affected by the lake’s water. That could be his only hope. You have to be his thread now. Remember the myth? You have to roll-up the thread your magic has left inside of him and try to bring him back. We have to be hopeful and trusting, that blood has already managed to call out for your help just in time. If you’d arrived just a moment later, Alec would have died.”

Magnus could hear his heart racing at a speed he didn’t even know was possible for a warlock.

He cleared his throat and asked quietly. “Does he need any medical assistance?”

“No Magnus, as I told you, his body is fine.”

“Then we will take him home.  _ Our home _ . Open a portal for me, Cat.”

Magnus bent down to put one arm under Alec’s shoulders, letting Alec’s head rest in the crook of his elbow, and the other under his knees, then he raised on his legs and entered the portal silently, everyone following him.

Magnus laid Alec on their bed, gently. He clicked his fingers to remove his wet soaked clothes and to change the sheets under him, leaving Alec only in his underwear, as he was used to. He dried his air exhaling a warm blue breeze from his mouth and kissed him gently on his forehead. Then he changed himself in something more comfortable.

They were alone in the room, no one had dared to follow Magnus in there without his permission. Everybody knew that Magnus needed a moment with Alec alone, before facing the others.

Magnus felt exhausted and sad, he just needed to lay down near Alec, but that wasn’t the right time. They had duties and his siblings were waiting for him outside the door.

He gathered himself and opened the door to the living room.

He immediately saw Maryse, Robert, and Max on the corner of the room. Tears were in his eyes again, but he fought them back.

“Maryse, Robert. I suppose you all know that Alec is… alive. Unfortunately his mind is wandering in the unknown lost territory of his unconscious.”

He went to the kitchen and put on some coffee. He knew he had magic for that, but he needed to be busy, to have something to do.

There followed long minutes of silence, filled with just the whistle of the kettle and the noise of boiling water.

Magnus’s gaze was lost when he turned to face them, conjuring some cups on the table.

Tugging on his ear he sipped some coffee and with an uncharacteristic stuttering for him he asked, “Now, can someone explain to me what happened? I had seen Gwyn a couple of minutes before the magic drew me to the lake. And he had told me that Alec was fine.”

Then he turned to the left and that’s when his eyes met Jace.

Jace was leaning on one of the walls, his arms crossed on his chest, his eyes red for the crying and he was trembling. Magnus could clearly see that it wasn’t only for the pain and the fear of losing his brother forever.

Unexpectedly Jace started crying again, uncontrollably.

“He… he fell in the water to save me… “, the whimpers were so strong that he couldn’t speak anymore.

Then all of sudden he inhaled deeply and started speaking again, words leaving his mouth all in one breath, emotions blurring his speech.

“Alec hadn’t killed Breakspear… he wanted to bring him here… that bastard had waited for all the warlocks and the  _ Hunt _ to go away, before throwing that blade toward us. Alec pushed me aside and the blade hit him on his shoulder, he stumbled and… fell into the water. All because of me.”

His chest was heaving and the tears kept streaming down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry Magnus, I’m so sorry. I know I had promised you I would have protected him with my life…and … instead…I’m sorry.”

Magnus dropped his cup on the table and closed the distance between them, not caring how many people were there in that precise moment. When he was in front of Jace he opened his arms and pulled him in a tight embrace.

“It’s not your fault Jace” his voice was gentle.

“It was me, Magnus, He did it for me", hiding his head in the crook of Magnus’ neck.

“No, it wasn’t you. It was Alec. He did it because that’s how he is. He doesn’t know any other way to be. And we all love him so much for being so. It’s not on you, Jace. He would have done the same for everyone inside this room and you know it.”

Magnus kept holding him tight.

“You’re not mad at me?” Jace asked quietly and uncertain.

“No, I’m not mad at you, as I’m not mad at him. I love him Jace, just the way he is. It’s in his nature. It’s him. Do you want to see him?”

Jace nodded silently and Magnus stepped back a little, just to take his hand and carry him in their bedroom. As Jace entered, Magnus closed the door behind him and went back to the others.

Magnus went straight to Max and kneeled in front of him “You’ll be the next Max”, he said gently wiping the tears on his cheekbones.

Then he raised his head looking at Robert. “Robert can you… can you go out in the Square and tell everyone what happened? I… I know I should do that myself but…”

“Your place is here Magnus, next to him. I’ll take care of everything. Thank you for saving him.”

Robert’s voice was cracked with emotion as he gently stroked Magnus’ cheek with one hand, a gesture that no one would have ever expected from him.

“You need to rest Magnus.” Cat’s voice brought him back to reality.

“Ehm… I will Cat, I will… I’ll lay down next to him…”

“You know you won’t rest when you’ll be alone with him in there…you should try to get some rest while we’re all here…”

“I… I can’t…Cat. You can’t ask me that right now. I do feel like a train had just hit me, but it wouldn’t be possible for me to sleep now…”

She smiled at him sweetly.

“I’m going to tell Madzie. Call me any time ok?”

Magnus nodded smiling.

Izzy was lost in Simon’s arms, both sitting on the couch, trying not to break down. As Magnus approached, Simon let his arms drop from her shoulders, to let her turn.

“Hey…Izzy…” Magnus’ words were soft.

“I thought he was gone Magnus. When I stopped Jace from throwing himself into the water… I thought it was over…” she looked so sad and lost.

“I know Izzy, I thought that too when I took him in my arms inside the water… he was so heavy…his limbs were dangling… he wasn’t breathing anymore…” he sighed in sorrow.

“You were great Magnus…” she exhaled and cocked her head “You know you are the only one that can bring him back from where he is now….”

Magnus was looking at her with wondering eyes.

“No one of us knows Alec’s deepest fears and nightmares better than you. He had never opened up to anyone but you. You have to reach him there where he is and bring him back.”

She smiled as if she was sure of what she was saying and Magnus just hoped that it could be that easy, having him back.

As the night fell on Alicante, Magnus found himself alone in the loft.

Every piece of furniture, every book, every pillow smelled of Alec.

He walked into the room and undressed, then he laid near his husband, resting himself on one elbow, to watch Alec in his sleep.

He lowered his head on Alec’s chest and started talking quietly, as if Alec was awake beneath him as if he could really hear what he was saying.

_ I love you. I don’t tell you as much as you do to me, but I do. You always say you’re not good with words, but it’s not that true. You are just not used to put things into words that much, but when you do, you do it amazingly. Me? I’ve always been good with words, maybe even too much. I have used them as a shield, as an armor, as a knife, as a blade. But when it comes to love words… I’m thrifty, I know that. Love words mean a lot to me Alexander so I usually spare them for big moments. But now I know I shouldn’t have done it with you. Each day spent with you is worth a celebration. I love you… so, so much. You probably think I’m mad at you, because you threw your life away for saving Jace. But I’m not. I can’t be. I love you Alexander for all that you are. _

__

His hands were slowly and softly tracing patterns on Alec’s chest. They had made love in that bed just the day before and now Alec was laying there, regularly breathing, but far away.

_ You had always been beautiful at my eyes Alexander, even when you kept thinking you weren’t. I never told you how I fell in love with you. You probably think that I fell in love with you when you came to me and shared with me your strength. That gesture had really meant a lot to me, but that hadn’t been the time. Nor it was the time you kissed me in front of everyone, or when you came to me after you had killed Jocelyn. Of course, all of those moments are precious to me and I treasure them in my heart because they are a portrait of who you are, of how pure your soul is, of how unconditional your way of loving is.  _

__

Magnus was now holding one of Alec’s hands in his, still stroking Alec’s chest with the other one. Alec’s body was warm under his touch, but it felt awkward not to see him reacting to the touching since Alec usually writhed beneath him when Magnus did that to him. Magnus kissed him softly on his ribs and resumed his talking.

_ You know, the moment I fell completely and utterly in love with you was while we were drinking at the bar’s counter on our first official evening out together when you told me that you had always known you couldn’t have what you wanted until I came along. At that moment you completely bared your soul in front of me and you put it in my hands. No one had ever given me such a gift before. No one had ever trusted me so blindly without even knowing me. And I realized that what I was feeling for you, was love. Do you remember when I told you that I hadn’t opened up my heart for almost a hundred years before I met you? I was almost on my way to dying inside Alexander. Warlocks are immortal beings, but at one point in our lives, however, we start to “petrify”; when life doesn’t hold anything to fight for anymore. When I met you, life hadn’t surprised me anymore for a long time, I had stopped looking forward to the years ahead. The weight of my long lonely life had settled on me and I was about to stop feeling and living. I wouldn’t have died “literally”, but my soul wouldn’t have existed anymore.  _

_ You saved me, Alexander, you gave me a reason to believe again, to love again, to live again.  _

His voice was brittle now, his lips trembling with emotion and fear. He had moved his head in the crook of Alec’s neck, to feel his pulse on his temple, to remind himself that Alec was alive.

_ I don’t know where your soul is trapped right now. But I think I can guess what your worst nightmares are. You have saved everyone. You have saved Jace and you have made everyone proud of who you are. I am here with you and I love you and I will never leave you. Ever. You have chosen my forever, my past, my present, and my future to be. And I have chosen you, above all else. The other day at the funeral, Jem told me something I hadn’t realized before. You have changed me Alexander, deeply. I will never be the same again, I could never go back to be the Magnus I once was without you. The way you love me has left a permanent mark on my heart.  _

_ Don’t leave me now, please. Don’t leave me. Come back to me, from wherever you are, come back to me. Please. Please. _

He was crying again, silently, his tears were spreading on Alec’s skin, soaking the sheets underneath. He couldn’t tell how much time had passed. He just stayed there, synchronizing his breath with Alec’s one, until it was only one breath echoing in the room. His eyes were closed now, silent tears breaching his closed eyelids.

Suddenly a soft brush on his hair made him gasp. He must have been dreaming. Then another brush, more intense. Magnus blinked twice, still unsure if he dared to believe what his senses were suggesting him. Then any doubt was dispelled when he felt soft, tender lips kissing him lightly on his forehead.

Alec’s voice was hoarse as he tried to speak and it came out as a soft whisper.

“You made it Magnus, you brought me back. You’d been my thread. I love you my Ariadne… Stop crying. I’m here, I’m back.”

Magnus buried his head in the soft skin and let it all go.


	10. It's in my nature

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec awakes from his coma and now he is ready for the ritual.  
> Will he choose to become a warlock or will he choose to remain a Shadowhunter?  
> And will Magnus understand?
> 
> The Chapters ends with a short Epilogue that sets the premises for the events that will happen in the sequel.

“Magnus I'm here, look at me please.”

Magnus had his head still buried in the crook of Alec's neck, still silently crying for the blessing that, again, life had given them.

How many times will they be allowed to have this? To find each other again after death and loss had knocked on their door so many times?

“I don’t know if I'm still ok with you undergoing the ritual.” Magnus’ voice seemed a ghostly exhale.

Alec should have felt hurt, but he knew that Magnus’ was speaking on behalf of fear.

Alec knew that it must have been terrible seeing him almost drowning, saving him and then looking at him lost on that bed, in an unknown place, without knowing if he would have ever been able to come back.

Alec still could see his nightmares in front of his eyes.

And Magnus? On that shore and in their bed, he had probably gone through one of his worst nightmares.

Alec turned on his side toward Magnus and locked his arms behind Magnus’ back, holding him there, letting him spill out all the pain, the fear, everything he had to endure alone, without him.

“Come here, come here, Magnus.” His voice was low and soft, his hands were tracing circles on Magnus’ back, then rising to his neck and to the back of his head.

Alec’s skin was soft and it smelled of sulfurous water. He was warm and Magnus could feel his pulse under his lips. 

He was so grateful to have him back like this, it felt so overwhelming.

Everything was hitting him all at once and it was too much.

The fear, the wish to have this forever, the promise, the hope, the immense heart-shattering love he felt.

He realized that this short amount of time he had spent with Alec had changed him so much.

“Hey. Can you look at me please, now?”

But Magnus just kept saying no, shaking his head slowly from right to left, brushing Alec’s neck with his lips, spreading his tears between his runes and his short itching beard.

“I’m sorry Magnus. I'm sorry that I have hurt you again. As I have done so many other times. I'm sorry if it always seems that care about us, about you, less than I care about the others. I…I just don’t know any another way to be Magnus…it’s not that I don’t love you, it’s not that I don’t care about you worrying and suffering…I do and it brakes my heart to know that you have spent your last hours in the worst place ever…all because of me…I know I should put everything behind us, but…I just can’t. When things need to be done, I just can’t hold back. You have every right to be mad at me. I’m your husband and …I should have thought about the consequences, but I didn’t. And I know I will never be that kind of man. I'm sorry Magnus. I have promised to be always by your side, but … I am who I am…and …I understand if you can’t accept this…if you can’t forgive me…No? No…what?”

Magnus was shaking his head again.

“I understand….if you don’t even want to listen to me…”, Alec lowered his head on Magnus’ hair, worried about what could have come next.

“None of that.” Magnus' voice was muffled by his mouth pressed on Alec’s skin and by the tears that were still flowing.

“I’m not mad at you.”

Alec’s breath quickened.

“No?” he asked breathily.

“No.”

“You’re not thinking that, again, I chose Jace instead of you, of us, of our future together? You’re not mad that I almost killed myself trying to save him?” 

Alec was gently tugging Magnus’ hair, urging him to raise his head, letting him know that he wanted to see him.

But Magnus remained still, deep buried on that soft skin, saying no with his head without letting out a word.

Never in his long life he had thought it would have been possible to love someone like this, so deeply. Loving someone without feeling the impulse or the need to change him, to turn him in something else.

His love for Alec had changed too. He loved him for who he was, he didn’t want him to be anyone else or different in any way.

This experience of extreme fear of losing him had made him realize that it didn’t matter to him anymore. 

He loved Alec. All of him.

He sucked in a small breath trying to gather the words to express his feelings.

“No. I'm not mad at you at all. On the contrary. I am ridiculously, utterly, desperately, and mindlessly in love with you even more. More than I had ever thought it could be possible to love someone. Just when I thought I couldn’t love you more than I already did…you made it happen. I love you Alexander, not…despite what you are. But because of it. I love your stubbornness, your tiring selflessness, your absurd obsession in doing always the right thing for everyone, your inability to put yourself ahead, the wholeness of the way you love. I love you precisely because of this. Because of all these little things that, yes, sometimes annoy me, scare me, and bother me. I've seen them all and I know them all. And the more I know you, all of you, the more I love you all the same.”

Alec’s eyes were glistening with the tears that were gathered there, ready to fall. He shuddered under such a declaration of unconditional love.

He kissed Magnus' head, twice.

“I don't know what I have done to deserve you. Thank you for falling in love with me when I was at my worst and at my weakest. For falling in love with me the same night I told you that I hadn’t been with anyone before, that I had denied all that I was for the fear of rejection and prejudice. Thank you for trusting me.”

Magnus gasped and finally raised his head in disbelief.

“You…you heard? Really?”

“Oh, finally. Here are my wonderful cat eyes”, he whispered as he stroke with his thumb the line of Magnus’ cheekbone.

“Everything?”

“Mmmm. You thought that I was joking when I said that you had reached me and brought me back? I wasn’t. I heard every single word and they retrieved me from the ethereal hell of my unconscious thoughts. From my own madness, where I was trapped in.”

“Was it as bad as what’s been told for centuries?”

Alec hissed at the memories.

“The water was…intoxicating. I could feel it poisoning my mind and my thoughts and I tried to fight it with all I had, but it had been useless. I relived the moment I was forced to leave you, then Isaw you dead in Edom, and then you…walking away from me ….cause I had failed everyone and I had failed you …I…it was your voice that gently breached in that anguish I was living in…and I felt my soul clutching to it for dear life and then… I felt a loving, insistent, gentle pull that slowly brought me back…I…it had been you. I fell in love with you the very first moment I saw you, Magnus, and every single day that followed. You, your magic, your cat eyes, your charm, and your power; your frailty and your strength. Everything.”

How he had managed to say all those things without crying he couldn’t tell. 

Magnus was slowly tracing a path with his fingers along the line of Alec’s sternum, a feathery touch, purposely slowing down where the bone ended right into his abs.

Alec’s breath hitched and stuttered and he whimpered like he always did whenever Magnus used his fingers so lightly on him.

“There you are…” Magnus whispered. “I’ve been doing this the whole night long, while I was talking to you, hoping for you to move or do something, but you were deadly still…”, a sob escaped from his throat against his will.

Alec let out a sigh and pulled Magnus even closer.

“So you have missed my whimpering, even if it was only for one night?” 

“I have missed all of you, yes. Your whimpering, your big clumsy hands caressing my hair while I am sleeping in your arms, your chest heaving under my kisses, your legs twitching when you get aroused only by the thought of having me close to you, even after all the things we have done together. The way you fight not to fall asleep on me after we made love, the way you cuddle up against me when you wake up, the way you whine and stutter when I lay my hands on you, the way I wake up every day to your beautiful smile and to your eyes that look at me as if I am the only thing that matters…it was horrible Alexander, having a taste of what it would mean losing you forever. I couldn’t live without you, I couldn’t survive as I did through all of these centuries before falling in love with you….”

“You’ll never have to…”

Magnus shivered.

“Alec…this ritual…I’m…so scared of losing you…again…”

Alec blinked twice and breathed. Magnus knew.

“So you know?”

“Of course I know, Alexander. I always did, from the very first moment. I knew it even before you realized it yourself. Because it’s you, Alexander. It’s in your nature.”

“I…I didn’t know how to tell you…not…again …oh, Magnus… it’s not that I don’t want to become a warlock…it would be amazing, doing magic as you do, being like you. Believe me, it’s not that I don’t want to become a Downworlder…it's just that I ……I have always been this. I don’t know any other way to be, Magnus. Will you? Can you…please, can you forgive me for wanting to try to remain a Shadowhunter?”

Alec brought his hands up to his face and hid the tears, the guilt, and the shame he was feeling at that moment.

Magnus grabbed his wrists and wrenched them out of his way, to kiss him, placing slow, languid open-mouth kisses all along Alec's face.

“Not only I forgive you. I told you, Alexander. I love you. Just as you are. For all that you are. For all that you have made of yourself and for all that you will be. I love you…but…I am…scared…”, Magnus’ eyes were red and swollen for having been crying for hours.

“I want to, Magnus…but…I'll be happy to step back if, if that’s what you want, if it makes you feel better. We can try later or never if you want things to remain as they are. I will be happy if you are happy. My life is yours, Magnus. You can take it and do whatever you want with it.”

Alec leaned down just a bit to kiss him, but Magnus pulled back, leaving Alec with a puzzled look and an aching heart.

“You…don’t you want me to kiss you?”

“How am I supposed to survive without this, without you, if you…”

“I won’t”, and he leaned again, but Magnus retreated a little bit more.

“You don’t know”, Magnus was almost crying again.

His whole body was stretched in the need and the longing to surrender to Alec’s embrace.

“Magnus…my, my, Magnus.” Alec leaned again, more slowly this time, pressing his forehead on his husband’s. 

“This, this fear is what I want to tear away from your face forever. This fear of being alone again, to wander in this world alone and forgotten. Let me take this fear away from you. Let me take care of you for all the years to come. I…won’t die during the ritual. I feel it. I know it. How? Because my whole existence hadn’t any sense before you came into my life, Magnus. After I met you…I …I discovered why I am alive. I was born to love you, Magnus. To give you everything you had always wanted, wished, and craved for, but never had the chance to have. I was made to keep your body warm through all the winters and the storms to come. To fill your heart with love and attention in the good and the bad days. To make your soul tremble in joy and awe again, just the way you deserve. This is the deepest and only sense of my life. Loving you and making you feel loved.”

One hand was now cradling Magnus’ cheek.

Magnus’ heart was sparkling as Alec’s words sunk deep down, making him feel so loved that it was almost heartbreaking.

“You…you devilish angel…how do you know always the right thing to say?” 

This time it was Magnus who raised a bit to kiss Alec.

It was the first kiss they exchanged after all that happened.

Alec’s mouth opened instantly as his tongue reached out for Magnus, licking every single inch it could touch, swiping along his lips, twirling around and tickling.

Kissing Magnus was always a sort of homecoming. It was where he belonged, where he wanted to be, forever.

His body was quickly heating up and pressing against Magnus’, his mind clouded by lust and desire.

“Now…do you want to make love to me or do you want me to make love to you?” he rasped while rutting against Magnus.

Magnus playfully covered his mouth with a hand, trying to seem surprised and scandalized, as he shoved Alec’s chest away from him, mewling.

“Get out from here evil spirit! What have you done to my shy, introverted husband? I want him back…”.

In the meantime Alec had slowly sneaked his hands around Magnus’ back again. Then with a quick weave he pushed Magnus against him, laughing in joy.

“No, you don’t want him back.” And he thrusted his hips forward.

“Damn Shadowhunters' stealthiness”.

Magnus was laughing too.

Then he squeaked, “Please, please strong man, give me my hubby back…”, and he laughed again.

“God, I love you, Magnus. So much that it hurts. I never want to see this smile disappear from your face. Now…are you going to give me the welcome back I am so yearning to have from you?”, and he thrusted his hips again.

Magnus cupped his cheeks gently, almost reverently.

“As much as I would want to answer yes, it’s still a no.”

Alec frowned.

“Oh…don’t you dare to try to seduce me with those brows. You’re going to need all your strength to survive the ritual.”

Alec’s eyes widened and sparkled in hope.

“So…this …this means you’re ok with that?”

“I’m ok with you, Alexander. There go, I am ok with it. I will bring you back, from wherever you will be.”

Alec hugged him forcefully.

“So…lower your weapons Shadowhunter" and he barely brushed his fingers along Alec's length.

“So…no?”

“No.”

“No, no, no? No chance? No hope at all?"

“No. Not now. You have to save energy and...also, I'd rather not have my mind filled with the sound of your hips slapping on my thighs when you’re gonna lie there unconscious.”

Alec blushed only at the thought of the sounds they made together.

“Still blushing? After you were the one to ask me to fuck or be fucked?”

There was Magnus again.

“Idiot…”

“You should have known better to trigger me like that.”

“You owe me one then.”

“Oh, Alexander. I dearly hope to owe you an eternity of this…”, and this time Magnus rutted slightly against Alec’ making him gasp.

“Move then” he shrieked, “otherwise I won’t be able to restrain myself anymore. And…I’m going to call Tessa and the warlock. We are doing this now. No more waiting.”

Magnus nodded.

There was a loud and insistent knock on the door.

“Jace…” they muttered as one.

“I'll go Magnus. Sleep now, for a while. I will wake you when Tessa arrives. It’s been a long night for you, watching over me", and he kissed him on his head.

Alec put on his sweatpants and a t-shirt and trudged to the door and opened it. 

Jace threw himself in his chest without even waiting for him to say something.

“I knew it! I knew Magnus had done it!”

"Jace...", Alec closed his arms around his parabatai.

"Alec...how... how are you?"

"I'm... fine, I guess. Just a bit...confused, can't focus on things properly."

Alec's breath seemed rasped and his voice was husky.

Jace disentangled quickly from his arms and gave Alec a quick glance. 

"Wait... Did I just...?" and he cocked his head to study his brother's face and body.

"Did you what?" Alec raised his eyebrows, not fully catching what he was intending.

His head felt light as if he was floating.

"Were you two...?" Jace's waved his fingers vaguely in the direction of Alec's still visible erection.

Alec followed the line of Jace's hand and suddenly realized, giggling.

"No..., no...We weren't. I kinda wished we could have been, as you can see..."

Jace wasn't expecting such a statement from his brother.

"Alec? Are you feeling ok? You seem a bit... _off_..."

"Well, I am allowed, I think”, and he smiled to Jace while turning on his heels and pacing the floor toward the kitchen.

"How is Magnus?" Jace's voice conveyed a concern so deep that Alec felt a stab inside his chest, "He was..."

"In pieces. I know." Alec cut him off. "He's... tired. He hasn't slept all night and he is emotionally worn out. Maybe, we both are..."

"Alec..."

"I...it's been a lot. For both of us...but now, we're better. Want some coffee?"

"Yes, thanks."

Jace had never been a good observer, always too concentrated in actions and movements, but now that he was looking at Alec closely and carefully he could see the signs.

He was pale, his eyes were red and he had deep dark shadows underneath them. His lips were slightly trembling, while he was pouring the coffee in the machine.

"Do the others know?"

"Clary realized that I was feeling better. I was quite sure that Magnus had brought you back. I told her to call Izzy and tell them to wait a bit to come all over your place. I wasn't sure if you wanted them all here, but Max..."

"Max, sure. Let's drink this coffee together and let me make a call. Then, they can come. May I have your phone?"

"Yeah, here it is."

Jace saw him dialing and waited in silence, grabbing the cups and filling them.

"Tessa? Yeah, yeah, I'm better...I still feel a little bit dizzy, but I'm fine. Ah... I wanted to ask you, would it be possible for you to see if Chen-Hsieh can come here, today? I'm ready for the ritual, we both are."

Jace dropped his cup on the table.

"Are you insane, Alec?'" he mouthed angrily.

"Perfect, Tessa. Thank you. I'll call Cat too. Magnus is sleeping right now, he needed to rest a bit. See you then. Thanks again."

Jace's cheeks were red, he looked really angry and his chest was rising and falling with the quickness of his breaths.

"Alec. You can't be serious. You almost died yesterday and you have been trapped in a sort of coma until a couple of hours ago. How is it possible that Magnus has agreed to such a foolish idea?"

Alec stood there, in silence, watching his brother.

"I hate you when you pretend to ignore me like you're doing now. Drop that mask of self-control. It's me you're talking with. You... Come on, Alec. You have forced Magnus' hand, haven't you?"

Jace was jabbering incoherently, but Alec's expression was soft and understanding.

"Are you done?", he licked his dry lips twice.

"Magnus and I had... well, we have talked about this, since I have been awake, and we have agreed that … the sooner, the better."

“Alec… I… I didn’t mean to, it’s just…”

“I know. We both are scared. We both fear to lose something. We both would have chosen another way if we only could. But, there is no other way, and I want to try. I would die anyway, sooner or later Jace, it will happen, we all know that. And what happened yesterday it’s just the proof. I’d rather die trying to become his forever, than in any other way.“

“But, Magnus?”

“Magnus will lose me anyway if we don’t try. Like he almost did yesterday. It could be tomorrow, in one month, one year or 50. But it will happen and it’s gonna shatter him in pieces anyway. I’m doing this for him. If there is only one chance for me to stay by his side for the centuries to come, I’m gonna take it. I don’t want him to feel alone anymore. At least, he’ll know that I’ve died in the effort to be with him forever, to be his last. And he has a family now, you all love him as much as you love me… I... I don’t even want to think about that now.”

Jace was looking at his brother with a new and deep understanding. 

He reached out with his arm and brushed Alec’s on his shoulder.

“I’m with you.”

Alec beamed and sniffed. 

"I..guess you have decided to..."

"Yes."

"I know you haven't done it for me, but I'm glad anyway."

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood if you don't open this door right now, I swear I am going to whip your dick off, literally!" 

No soundproof wards and walls could ever contain the shrill of Izzy's voice.

Alec was about to move from the stool he was leaning on when Jace stopped him, with a firm push on his chest, and chuckled.

"Stay there. I'm sure Magnus wishes for you to keep it", and he winked mischievously.

Alec couldn't do anything else than burst into a careless and irreverent laugh. He had always loved his siblings, but the closeness they had now, had been another one of Magnus’ gifts. 

Izzy burst into the loft, her flaming eyes searching for Alec, but her sense of frustration disappeared instantly as she spotted him.

His brother was there, a black silhouette standing out against the blinding sunlight that was pouring in from the door window, sipping something from a steaming cup, leaning gracefully against a stool. He looked relaxed and peaceful.

She would have wanted to punch him, hit him, and wrench him, but instead she yanked him into a heartfelt and convulsive embrace.

Then came the tears, the ones she had been suppressing and stifling since the moment she had seen him floating and drowning in the lake’s water.

“You… you… I hate you, Alec, I thought you were dead…I thought I would have never been able to hold you like this anymore, you are my brother, the other half of my soul, my shelter and harbor…”, she raised her hands to cup his cheeks affectionately, “I…Oh, I love you so, so much, Alec…never, never, never scare me like this again, ok?”

Alec had stood there, holding her as he had always done until he took a long deep breath.

“Actually… I’m about to do that again. Today.”

At this point everyone had already entered the room, Simon and Clary, Maryse, Robert, and Max.

Alec’s words echoed in the gasps that escaped from all of their mouths.

Izzy stiffened into his arms.

“Alec? Why? What, what does it mean?” Max whispered, already scared for the answer that he knew was about to come.

Alec pulled apart from Izzy’s arms and turned to the window, it would have been easier, telling them like this, not looking them into their eyes, not seeing their angst and their resignation.

“I’m… We will perform the ritual, today, and…”

“Alec…”, Maryse let out a strangled sound, like an animal who was being sliced up.

“Let him finish, mum”, Max was the youngest one in there, but he seemed the one most attuned to Alec’s feelings and needs.

When he was smaller, Max adored Jace for his fighting skills and strength, and Izzy for her capacity of being so out of charts.

But now, he worshipped Alec in every sense. Max had grown close to Downworlders, he was one of the new generations of Shadowhunters, the ones grew in the shade of Alec and Magnus. 

“...and I…I have decided to try mixing my angel blood with Magnus’ one.”

He had spit out the words so quickly that it took a moment for the others to catch exactly what he had said.

Izzy was feeling furious again, and she was about to flame his brother when Simon grasped her arm, with force and determination, shaking his head and stopping her.

“Alec…I know I'm the last that should talk after how hard it has been for me to accept you being so close to the Downworld, but…why not choosing to become a warlock? It would be easier, less dangerous, Magnus could teach you everything, guide you, and …we will love you as we do now”, his father was the last one Alec’s was expecting to defend the warlock alternative.

“Dad is right, Alec. You'd be a wonderful warlock.” Izzy’s voice was breaking.

They were all scared to lose him, Alec knew that, but talking to them was not the same as talking to Magnus.

As he was collecting his thoughts and sorting his words, Magnus had sneaked out of the bedroom and was now leaning on the door frame, with the whole family staring at him behind the shoulders of an unbeknownst Alec.

“I…The love I have for Magnus changed me, completely, and this change isn't only about my private life. Loving him had changed my vision of the world, the things that I believe in, the battles I consider worth fighting for, and the future I want for our children. This last rebellion has shown me that it’s gonna be a long time coming until we can change the way people think and look at each other. Changing the laws is not enough and it will never be. We need to change the minds and…this is a thing I think I might be good at. But I can’t pursue this change if I won’t be the Consul anymore. I don't want any Downworlder to feel the way Magnus had felt in all these centuries ahead, to be treated like he had been. I want us to have warlock, vampire, and Shadowhunters children, and I want them to be free to choose the life they want to live, to love the person they will fall in love with. I don’t want them to feel trapped or lesser in any way. This love I have been blessed with has made me a better man. I can’t keep all this for myself or just for the two of us. It would be beautiful to live in our perfect world…but it wouldn’t be fair. I want everyone to have the chance to have this. Love and be loved. Live forever if it’s something they wish to share with their partner, and build a new world. “

No one knew what to say after such a statement.

Maryse was the first to speak.

“Are you ok with this, Magnus? Are you willing to risk his life, for this?”, her tone was bitter as she turned toward Magnus.

Alec realized he wasn’t alone anymore in the room. His stomach fluttered, and he spun to look at his husband.

Magnus was so beautiful, a crooked charming smile on his face, his shoulders relaxed against the wood.

“I share his dreams, Maryse. I have spent each day of our relationship trying to convince Alec that he was the one who could do this. I am _not_ willing to lose him, but I am also not willing to force him to give up on his dreams for the fear of remaining alone, again. My whole life would be shattered if Alec should ever die doing this, but I would die slowly every day inside of me, knowing that he had not felt free to choose.”

Alec’s eyes were full of tears and his shoulders were slightly trembling as he turned again to face the window.

Magnus closed the distance between them, the sound of his steps cutting the thick layer of silence around them, and settled himself right against Alec’s back as if he wanted to shield him.

Their shoulder blades were touching and he could feel Alec's chest moving quickly as he could perceive the tremble under the strain of being so tense.

“The vows I had made on our wedding day weren’t just words, Alexander. I had promised you to help you reach your greatest heights, and I'm not stepping down now or never, whatever it takes.”, his statement leaving no space for anyone to interfere.

Magnus’ eyes were hard, he had put on what Alec used to call his _High Warlock Stance._ When Magnus acted like that, usually no one dared to talk back to him.

Those words swirled around Alec’s soul, soothing his pain and his fear, making him feel loved in a way that was beyond any expectations, beyond death itself.

“Now, we are going to join Cat and Tessa at the infirmary. Jace?”, he looked at him in tenderness.

“I think you should come with us, Alec might need you there.”

Jace’s heart filled with joy and respect for this man who loved his brother so much.

“Sure, Magnus. I would have asked if you hadn’t offered me.”

Then Magnus lessened the tight grip he had been holding on himself and spread a loving and understanding look all around the room.

“Of course you can all join us there if Alec is ok with this.”

Alec just nodded explicitly for everyone to see.

He didn’t feel comfortable enough to speak, his tears were still all gathered there, on the edge of his eyelids, ready to fall.

“Thank you, Alec for letting us come. We will wait for you there. Clary will open a portal for us”, it had been Max again.

As they were alone again, Alec slid into Magnus' arms.

"Thank you", he murmured through Magnus' hair.

Magnus kissed him just the way Alec needed him to, slowly, tenderly, taking his time.

"Let's go Shadowhunter. I have plans for us tonight"

Cat was waiting for them outside the infirmary.

"Hey, Alec. How are you feeling?"

"Good, Cat. Thank you. And, thank you for helping Magnus yesterday."

"Glad to see you on your feet again. Tessa and Chen-Hsieh are already waiting for you inside, as Jace is. We have enough of Magnus’ blood stored to use, but Tessa thinks it would be better to do a direct transfusion at the end of the ritual, to keep you two closer."

They both nodded.

Chen-Hsieh was standing near the bed.

"Oh, there you are. Don't be afraid, Magnus. Nothing that had happened yesterday is gonna be relevant in what we will be doing now."

Magnus felt a weight leaving his chest.

"Alec. Magnus is going to cast a sleeping spell on you, so you won't be able to hear and feel anything that happens to you. You will have his magic protecting you inside and outside. I will draw out your human blood first, then replace it with Magnus. If you'll need it, Magnus will share his strength with you and Jace will share his strength with Magnus."

Alec tried to focus only on the instructions, on the sequence of steps, avoiding to dwell on the fact that he was about to kiss Magnus, maybe for the last time.

As if he had read Alec's thought, Chen-Hsieh, took one of his hands and pressed it between his palms.

"You have made the right choice. _Fortune favors the brave_ , _Alec_. Tessa, Cat, and I will all be here to help Magnus and to help you if you'll ever need us. Now, strip and leave only your boxers, we have to check all your physical reactions during the ritual."

Alec took off his clothes slowly, folding them carefully and leaving them on a chair.

Cat stuck the electrodes on his skin and inserted the needle in his left arm, the one where she had spotted a big visible vein, under the white surface of his pale skin.

"You'll draw your next rune just there, Alexander", Magnus joked.

"And what would that be?" 

"The Family Summoning Rune, cause we are going to have children" 

As the screens were all switched on, the room was filled with the beeps of Alec's heartbeat.

"Alec, Magnus, we are ready when you are."

"Jace, you'll go first, all right? I am going to tell them that we are about to start. I'll be right back", Magnus opened the door and left them alone.

"Jace..."

"Don't you dare tell me goodbye, Alec. I will be here when you will open your eyes again", and he bent toward Alec, kissing him on his forehead, a gesture so tender and caring.

"Jace, I... I will see you soon, but if anything happens to me, promise me you won't leave Magnus alone, never. Promise me you will watch for him as you have done for me, promise me you and Clary will be there for him, helping him through it, and then encouraging him to move on."

"Alec..."

"Promise."

"I do, Alec."

"And promise me you and Izzy will fight to continue what I have started."

Jace nodded, swallowing down the tears, and stood up, stumbling toward the door.

"I will call you when he's already asleep", Magnus told Tessa and the others and went back into the room.

"Magnus? Are you back?"

"Yes, I am here."

"Cuddle me? Just for a while."

Magnus laid next to Alec, right where he could make Alec's rest on his chest.

"Are you scared?" 

"A little bit. Will you hold my hand?"

"Of course", Magnus leaned to press a soft kiss on Alec's head.

Alec slowly turned his head and leaned a bit, ready to receive a proper kiss, but Magnus pulled back.

"I won't give you a goodbye kiss, it would taste too much as a farewell one. You'll open your eyes with my lips on yours, I promise. Now... let's get this over with.”

Magnus waved his hands and his blue magic enveloped Alec’s body.

As sleep was starting to overcome his will power Alec said whispering “I love you”.

Chen-Hsieh sat near Alec as Cat attached the canula to the needle. 

Then she pierced another vein in the other arm, next to Magnus.

“I am going to separate the types of blood now and start to draw out the human one. I will tell you when I will be almost done, then you have to start to transfuse Magnus’ blood in him, immediately.”

Cat nodded. It was her job, she knew how to do that. She turned to Magnus, her lifelong friend.

“I have brought you back to life once, then I have brought Alec back with your help. From now on, only nice lovely dinners with you two, ok? Strolls in the park with Madzie and shopping trips.” 

Magnus was laying in a bed right beside Alec’s one, his sleeve rolled up above his elbow, a needle already standing out on his caramel skin. He was smiling without looking at her, his eyes fixed on a sleeping Alec.

“Grab his hand, we’re starting.”

Jace took his place right beside Magnus, curling his hand on Magnus’ shoulder, tightening his grip as to hold himself.

Chen-Hsieh was now murmuring the words of an ancient spell, a remnant of the demonic magic he had inherited from his father, making the window glasses tremble under the force of its power.

The magic that was flooding out of him was a deep dark red and Magnus thought it had the color of drying blood. He shivered and focused himself on Alec’s body and face.

Alec's blood started filling the translucent tube, slowly, like a red snake unfolding under the words of the spell.

The room was quiet and filled with the light of a pale sun. Alternated breaths were filling the room and the beeps from the monitor were steady, Alec's body seemed to respond well to the loss of blood.

"Now, Cat! Start now."

Alec's skin was paler than ever and his blood pressure was at the lowest, but he was still fighting.

Magnus' gripped his hand tighter and turned to look at Jace. He had the same expression Magnus had seen on him while he was in battle.

He refocused on Alec again. Hours were passing, blood sac after blood sac, and Alec still seemed to be sleeping peacefully.

They were more than halfway and no side effects had shown up.

Hope was lingering in Magnus' chest, as the minutes flew by.

"Come on, now, Magnus. It's your turn. You could feel a little pull. We're almost done."

Now the two needles in their arms were connected through that transparent seamless tube.

"He's wearing more than your ring now, Magnus", Jace sounded relaxed and happy, "he deserves this eternity with you, and... you deserve him."

Magnus looked at him in surprise, "God, Jace. I thought I'd never seen the day."

Six hours had passed. 

"As my magic will leave his body, we will be definitely sure if the ritual had gone well. Be prepared for anything. I'm ready, are you?"

Magnus nodded, searching for the same answer in Cat and Tessa's eyes.

Chen-Hsieh closed his hands in a fist, retreating all the magic inside himself, in one shot.

No one was breathing. The beep's rhythm had changed abruptly, they were less frequent than the usual human ones, steadier, slower.

"Your blood flows in his systems perfectly, this boy has made the Angels bow and kneel in front of the love he has for you. Remove the sleeping spell." 

A sob escaped from Magnus' pursed lips and he covered his eyes with his free hand, as he was letting go of everything.

"Magnus?", Alec's voice sounded croaky. Magnus just tightened his grip on Alec's hand, not feeling strong enough to reply. 

Alec lifted his head a little from the pillow and realized that everyone was crying.

"Why are you all crying? I'm not dead, am I?"

Jace was right beside him.

"No, you're not dead, stubborn asshole. You made it. Can you give your husband a minute to recover?"

Alec nodded, smiling. He hadn't words to explain how happy he felt at that moment.

"Chen-Hsieh, I could never thank you enough for what you have done for us."

"It's been an honor, meeting you two. Call me anytime, Tessa knows where to find me."

Magnus was still laying down, with his eyes covered as Cat and Tessa were removing the needles, the tubes, and the electrodes.

Tessa bent down and whispered in his ear "He's alive, Magnus. You are not alone anymore. I can't tell you how happy I am for you. I love you my dear friend, now look at him. He's dying to see you", she kissed him gently on his temple and slowly removed his hand.

As Cat strapped the last patches from Alec's skin, she spoke to Alec gently, "We're going out and leave you two a moment before we're letting the others in and checking what happened to you, other than becoming one of us", and she winked playfully at him. 

Magnus opened his eyes, turning his head toward Alec. 

Alec's had his head held high, a glowing face, looking at Magnus with moist eyes and an adoring gaze, with tears trickling down his face. 

His smile shined as if the sun had somehow toppled down from the sky and made a home right in his heart. 

He extended his hand toward Magnus and intertwined their fingers, "Marry me, again? This time, forever?", then he pulled Magnus toward his chest, closing his other hand behind his back.

"Yes, it's always gonna be a yes for you, Alexander. I still can't believe I can have you like this", and he kissed Alec tenderly on his chest, on the wedded rune he had above his heart. 

Placing their joint hands on the new beating rhythm he would have to get used to, he kept on kissing him upwards, until he found Alec’s lips, already parted for him.

Magnus hesitantly looked up at him and the swirls of emotion he saw there made him gasp. 

Suddenly Alec was holding him gently, cupping his face with one hand. He leaned down and softly kissed the tender area at the base of Magnus’ neck and left him breathless as he showered him with gentle, soft kisses. Then Alec drew back again and spent a moment studying Magnus’ face.

Alec gazed at him lovingly, his eyes softening with tenderness before tilting Magnus’ head to the side and kiss him, his lips demanding until he slanted Magnus’ head further, deepening the kiss.

"Neither do I” he breathed as he pulled back.

As Cat opened the door again, everyone followed her inside the small room, Alec and Magnus were still hugging.

"Hey, Max, come here."

Then it was Izzy's turn, followed by Robert and Maryse.

"Now, Alec, do you wish to know if your runes are still working? I think they are since Jace has just told us that he can feel you the same as he did before the ritual", Chen-Hsieh gestured both of them to stand up from where they were still sitting.

"Do you want your stele or do you want Magnus to try and see if he is able to activate them? His blood should respond to his magic."

It seemed obvious, still Alec couldn't believe that they could be so deeply connected now. 

"Magnus, I want Magnus to try."

Chen-Hsieh opened his palm encouraging Magnus to go on.

Magnus looked at Alec intensely, "Anyone?"

"Anyone."

Magnus waved his fingers, directing the blue smoke to Alec's deflect rune.

As his magic touched the skin, a blue shiver crossed Alec's body making him shudder. 

Then the rune glowed, in blue and gold. Warlock's blue and Shadowhunters' gold. The sparkling was so soft and the blending shades of the two colors were lightening Alec's skin.

"I've never seen such a thing in all the centuries I have lived", Chen-Hsieh was grinning in satisfaction.

Alec and Magnus were lost in each others' gaze.

"Now, we're going to try the other way around", and he handed Alec his stele.

Alec slowly dragged his stele on his Voyance Rune, which spread the same two colors all around his arm.

Magnus gasped as the extrasensory perception hit him, allowing him to see beyond the glamour of all the warlocks that were inside the room. 

"Just as I thought. Alec, I don't know what other powers you two will be able to share... now, you have plenty of time to entertain yourself in this research. Magnus, I will teach you everything I know. I will be glad to past this ability to you.”

Magnus nodded smiling, the monk gently stroke his backhand on Alec's cheek, then bowed his head and disappeared into the air.

“I think you boys should go home and have some rest… Jace can take care of everything until you’ve recovered a bit. These have been two long days”, Robert had spoken with the same tenderness he used to have toward Alec when he was a toddler. 

“Dad… I need to …the Clave…”

“You’re the Consul. The Clave follows your pace. There is nothing so pressing that can’t be done in a couple of days. Go and take your time. You deserved it” and he hugged his son. 

“I am so proud of you, Alec. Just know that I feel honored to be your father, I don’t know what Maryse and I have done to have this. We haven’t been the best parents a child could ask for, but you’ve welcomed us both back in your life and in your relationship with Magnus. I will spend the rest of my days serving your cause and trying to change the way people think, as I have changed. Thank you incredible, beautiful son. With your help we still can make amends for the terrible mistakes and things we have done in our past. I love you, both.”

He patted affectionately Alec’s back twice, before leaving his arms.

The loft was pitch black as they stepped out from the portal Cat had opened for them.

“How are you feeling?” Magnus’ voice was as soft as a cotton blossom.

“Fine. I… I’m feeling good. You?”

“I think I have never experienced what I am feeling right now, Alexander. I told you were my first so many things, and it seems like you won’t stop…”

Alec chuckled and grabbed his hand in the darkness, twisting Magnus’ body like in a tango dance, making him crush on his arm, crooked at the right angle to grab him.

Alec couldn’t see anything, he couldn’t see Magnus’ face or eyes, just hear his ragged breath. He lowered into the nothingness searching for those lips, but he missed them, his own lips a tad too far left, his nose bumping against Magnus’.

Alec could hear the crinkling of his smile as he maneuvered them to put their mouths in the right position, tilting Magnus' head so that their lips could brush, firmly. 

“You have a promise to fulfill if my memory doesn’t fail me.” 

The heat rose in Alec’s cheeks as his tongue touched Magnus’ tongue, quick and teasing, then firmer, more determined.

Magnus hungrily pushed back, his mouth open and demanding. The bristles of Alec’s beard scratched against Magnus’ soft cheeks as he gripped Alec’s head firmly as if to keep him from escaping. 

They stumbled in the blackness until they fell on the rug, Magnus instantly making it puff up as if it had been inflated with air.

The only light that could be seen was emanating from Magnus’ eyes.

Alec’s giggles were everywhere as he asked tenderly “Make love to me?”, while he was stripping Magnus’ from his clothes.

Magnus pushed him back and kissed him, again, making Alec’s clothes disappear and letting his blue magic strings run haywire as he concentrated to the body beneath him, worshipping it as the most precious of his treasures.

He could feel Alec’s soft, warm body underneath him and he caressed his thighs reverently, while he slowly began to thrust inside of him.

“Isn’t it good that can I activate your stamina and endurance runes just with a flick of the wrist?”, Magnus panted between Alec’s bent legs.

Alec let out a burst of jerky laughter that turned into a rough, unabashed moan as Magnus made his runes glow again, the blue and gold reflecting on Magnus’ skin, and as he changed his long thrusts into quick, short jabbed and perfectly aimed ones.

Soon Magnus’ movements became more erratic and less precise as Alec was chanting Magnus’ name like a prayer, again and again until they both tripped over the edge.

They were still entangled, sharing breaths and gentle strokes when Alec managed to say “Have I told you that I love you?”

“Not enough” Magnus breathed back, almost humming.

“Good” said Alec, “We have a life ahead.”

**_Epilogue_ **

“Happy Anniversary”, everyone was raising their glasses toward Magnus and Alec.

They had been married for five years now, and they had adopted two kids, a lost Shadowhunter and a warlock, who were 5 and 2.

The world they were living in seemed really different. 

Magnus had become the only other warlock who could perform the immortality ritual and he had already done that for so many Shadowhunters mated with immortal Downworlders, including Izzy.

Brother Zacharia wasn’t a Silent Brother anymore. He had married Tessa and they were happy, with a child of their own.

Madzie was Max's girlfriend and he had a vampire parabatai named Eugene, a boy that had been found by father Raphael.

Yes, Raphael was finally a priest, a very special one. He always went searching around the streets for young vampires who hadn’t a home and sent them to the only place he knew, where they would have been wanted and loved.

Magnus and Alec’s home, had become the home of all of them. 

Magnus had never doubted that Alec would have been a fantastic father, but seeing him every day, so loving and caring, had made him fall in love with him even more.

“Magnus, Alec…”, a sweet voice came from behind the curtains of the loft.

“Tessa, Jem….and….where's my little adorable sorceress?”, Magnus asked looking around and searching for their daughter.

“She…she is safeguarding your present”, Jem answered gently.

Alec and Magnus looked at each other in puzzlement.

“And where is it?” Magnus asked.

“We left it…outside the door, Tessa thought it would be better to talk to you first.”

Tessa took a deep breath.

“Our present for you is…a baby girl. She was left at the Spiral Labyrinth yesterday morning. She…she is just like me. Half-Shadowhunter and Half-Demon.”

“How…how can it be possible?” Magnus muttered.

“I don’t know. There must have been something that had protected her mother as the clockwork angel did with my mum. I…I thought that…given her situation…your home would have been the best place for her to…grow up in…”

“A baby girl?” Alec’s voice was a sweet as honey and Magnus knew that his husband had already fallen in love with her, before even seeing her.

Tessa nodded.

“I want to see her”, Alec said as he headed to the front door.

Alec bent toward the crib whispering “Hi Mina.”

“Hi Uncle Alec. Look how she’s cute, isn’t she? Mum said she’s your new baby girl, is that true?”

The baby girl was stirring inside the canvas of the crib, shivering in the May late afternoon.

Alec thought that maybe after so many months in the womb, the air must have felt cold.

She kicked her legs out in search of something reassuring, instead the swaddled cloths gave way to her little feet and she started screaming.

Alec curled his big arms around that small body and lifted her up, bringing that that teeny-tiny thing up to his chest, then to his shoulder.

She was smaller than a bag of sugar from the grocers and her tiny toes peeked from the blanket. 

Alec was suddenly reminded of the day they had found Max, and he was aware again of how tiny new human beings were, how vulnerable.

“Hi, little princess…”, Magnus was right behind his husband, stroking the baby nose gently with his own.

“You are home now. Let’s go and meet your brothers.”

And Alec thought that in their hearts there would have always been enough space for anyone who was searching for love and protection because the love they felt for each other was infinite.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave me Malec prompts on tumblr at @brightsasstars  
> or send me numbered prompts from this list: https://brightasstars.tumblr.com/post/619981178288619520/fanfiction-trope-mash-up

**Author's Note:**

> This journey has finished, I hope you enojed reading it, as I did writing.
> 
> Leave comments, if you want me to know how this reading experince has been.  
> Let me know what you think, even


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